Game Day: Detroit, the bailout
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 8:32 AM CST
91 comments
Fear not Detroit! While your captains of industry may have run your city into the ground (and flown away on private jets) Minnesota has just the ticket for any ills your professional basketball team may be having: Our Beloved Puppies Zombies. I know it's not much, but it's the best we can do right now.
For all of you Detroit fans who don't play much (or any) attention to our favorite team, let me give you a brief rundown of where things stand: Last year the Wolves were simply awful. This year they are simply awful. Glen Taylor continues to poke fans in the eye with his insistence that up is really down, Kevin McHale is still employed, Randy Wittman has a career .328 winning percentage (and $5 mil + 1 year remaining on his contract), and Randy Foye can't play point. That's about it.
For our loyal readers, this is the last time I mention Foye's inability to play point. Randy is a nice player, a wonderful story, and a tremendous asset to his community. He was placed in an untenable situation by a posse of clowns who don't get the fact that the only reason they got as close to winning as they did in the first place was because they drafted a historically great player who they then failed to properly utilize...and who was properly utilized in less than a single calendar year after being traded away to the Celtics. These clowns then have the nerve to tell their fans that the new squad has the juice to go .500. They shout out to the world that their coach--a guy who could reach his 100th loss with the team in less than 2 full years today in Detroit--is safe and will be going nowhere any time soon. Stick. Eye. Poke.
Completing the circle, let me take you back to a quote from April 15, 2008:
"I just shudder when I hear people judging players a year into their career," McHale said. "If you were to judge John Stockton after his first year and a half in the league, you'd say, 'Well, Rickey Green is playing ahead of him.' Now you look back and John Stockton is in the Hall of Fame."
That would be Mr. McHale talking about Mr. Foye. Again, Randy had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the clown posse traded away Brandon Roy for the Villanova combo guard + cash and then handed him the keys to the team at the point.
Really, really, really completing the circle, I strongly urge Minnesota legislators to seize the Timberwolves and all their assets, declare the organization to be a bank holding company, and jet off to D.C. with hats in hand to beg for TARP funds and a new front office. Let's close out this bad boy with some bullet points:
- Minnesota starting center Jason Collins is making $6.2 million this season. He has a career PER of 7.5. (Thanks to new commenter SL9 for the Collins PER info. As always, Canis Hoopus greatly values what its readers bring to the table, especially with stats.)
- Mike Miller is averaging a hair over 6 shots/game over the team's last 5 contests. His career average for FGAs is 11.4/game.
- There has been a lot of buzz about the trades in New York and their relevancy to the 2010 free agent class, especially concerning one Lebron James. One thing that isn't getting talked about is the fact that Cleveland absolutely, 100%, super-duper cannot let LBJ walk for nothing. Cleveland GM Danny Ferry (yes, the Dukie) should have a pretty clear idea as to whether or not he can retain James by the 2009 trade deadline. Why let him walk when you can reset your franchise by trading the best player in the world? The Blazers can literally give the Cavs a new starting 5 in a sign-and-trade with Rudy Fernandez, Sergio Rodriguez, Travis Outlaw, the Vanilla Gorilla, and Nic Batum for LBJ. It's better than nothing...which is exactly what they'll get if they let him hit the open market. James is going to get maxed out no matter where he goes. If he walks from Cleveland with nothing in return, the franchise crumbles. If they pull a sign and trade, the Cavs can at least pad the landing.
- There has also been a lot of fan buzz in Wolves fan boards and chat rooms about the fact that Chris Kaman is apparently on the trade market. I myself am kind of ambivalent about Mr. Kaman. Regardless of my personal feelings, the only way the Wolves make a trade of this significance is if they package the expiring contract of Jason Collins with Mike Miller and a player in the $2-3 mil/year range like Foye or Craig Smith. This would give them about $18 mil to work with in any hypothetical deal (they'll have to take back more than simply the player they want). Fans always tend to overvalue the talent on their favorite team and this is especially the case here in Minny. I'm not sure the Wolves have anything that would be of value to the Clips. Another problem they face is that a guy like Miller is only really valuable to teams that are playoff bound and searching for that extra push over the top. I'm sure the Lakers would love to have him and that he'd make a nice fit on Portland as well (who take a lot of 3s and play more to his style), but I'm not sure what the Clips would want with Miller. It should also be mentioned that the Clips have a well-documented history of taking McHale to the cleaners when it comes to deals between the two franchises. It should also, also be mentioned that any deal involving these two teams will likely come with a request from LA that the restrictions be removed on the Minny 1st rounder still owed to LA's lesser franchise via the Marko Jaric trade. Yes, the Marko Jaric trade. Stick. Eye. Poke. Enough with the Kaman talk....unless you want the team to give away its top pick in this year's draft.
- Earlier this week on KFAN's Chad Hartman show, the Son of Sid mentioned that Kevin McHale did not talk to UNC coach Roy Williams before selecting Rashad McCants in the 2005 Draft. If any of our fantastic readers come across any info on this point, please place your findings the comment section.
Well, that about does it for now. For all of your Detroit basketball needs, please mosey on over to Detroit Bad Boys, Need4Sheed, or PistonsNationBlog.
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More contrarian thoughts
The longer Wittman stays on as coach and McHale remains as ersatz GM, the more their incompetence will become an asset.
Other teams will look at a player on the Wolves roster and say, “Sure, he hasn’t produced so far. But look at the coaching he has and the lack of talent surrounding him. Maybe if we bring him in we’re so much better that we’ll turn him into a star.”
And McHale cleverly has the league convinced that he’s an idiot, so that when he calls another team with a trade that seems to be lopsided in favor the of the Wolves, the other GM thinks, “This sounds like a terrible deal for us, but if McHale is proposing it, there must be some advantage here that I’m missing. I’ll take it.” McHale’s just waiting for the right moment to spring the trap.
Just trying to get through a loooooonnnnnnng season . . .
by PoorDick on Nov 23, 2008 10:36 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Here's hoping for a few victories in the next 10 games...
…I’d be happy with 3 or 4 at this point.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 3:39 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Screw 3 or 4
I want 10 out of the next 10 games as Wins….Although ill be waiting along time for that….
by Tony_O on Nov 23, 2008 5:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Why would LeBron agree...
to a sign and trade? How much more money would he make? Wouldn’t he be better off A. picking whatever team he wants in the offseason and B. Going to a team that didn’t just trade half their assets to acquire him.
by Pants_ on Nov 23, 2008 5:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
The Wolves Wouldnt Be Able to Afford Lebron.....
Taylor is Too Much of a Cheap Skate.
by Tony_O on Nov 23, 2008 5:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I think he would get an extra year...
…at a higher salary but I could be wrong on that point. I’m sure he could make that up on the back end in New York, but…well, if I were Danny Ferry my guess now would be that he would have to win this year to keep him. If not, I think you try and force his hand with a trade as I don’t think there’s a chance in hell he stays in Cleveland. Don’t forget that Portland would still run out a pretty formidable lineup without those guys…starting Blake, Roy, James, Aldrich, and Roy with Webster, Bayless, Frye, and who ever they pick up in the draft this year.
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 6:19 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Leading the Pistons by 12 late in the 2nd....
Where is Everybody?
by Tony_O on Nov 23, 2008 5:54 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
hehe
I missed the first half but am watching the 2nd, let’s see if they can pull it out.
Man Brown is outclassed here.
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 6:34 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
up 18, it is going to hurt if they lose this one
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 6:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
foye to the rescue
he’s looking great today, pliny!
as a team, they’re passing and running some and getting some results. love had a couple of beautiful passes at the end of the 2nd quarter. of course the main thing is that other than prince no one can hit jack for motown.
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 6:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
yeah this Iverson thing
might have been a real dumb move.
I know it’s only been a few games but apparently they’re already booing. Guess I would too if I was down 25 to the worst team in the league lolzzzzzzzzz
Surprised I haven’t seen Love yet? Maybe it doesn’t matter this game.
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 6:51 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
LEMME HEAR YA HOWWWWWLLLLL!!!!!!!!
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 6:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
by the way
I think my mind’s made up – let’s see if J-Mo feels like getting on board hehe
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 6:51 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
This will be a Huge Win for the Wolves.....
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
by Tony_O on Nov 23, 2008 6:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
And thus ended the Shaddy/Foye death match..
….does anyone miss him or notice a difference in the club’s ability to play well when he’s out?
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 6:58 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
yeah he might turn out to be
the Alfredrick Hughes of the 21st century.
I sure wish he could put it together, he’s got a ton of talent.
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:01 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
the difference
is not only that it is a more likeable team when he’s out. but seeing the ball movement today, and nice lines for both foye and miller, its encouraging.
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 7:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Winning zombie ball..
…keeping it simple and true. It’s nice to see Foye have a good game.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:04 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
zombie ball
award goes to the pistons today, man they look terrible!
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 7:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I view it more as...
…the zombie horde overcame the dirty Detroiters. Fear the horde.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Wallace is going to get ejected.
Just a matter of time.
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:02 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
What a Night for Foye.
18 points…11 Assists.
by Tony_O on Nov 23, 2008 7:04 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
man if I was a Pistons fan
I’d be pissed
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:04 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Sheed is an embarassment
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:05 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
OK...
…that was lucky. Rhinos don’t shoot those shots.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:06 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
no him and Foye
have been working on that very sequence in practise! ;)
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:06 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
This is insane
Never Been Prouder of a T-Wolves Team than i am right now
by Tony_O on Nov 23, 2008 7:06 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
OVERBECK COMMERCIAL AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:07 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
can someone explain the overbeck phenomenon to me?
i haven’t seen any of this, my commercial breaks are just those tedious dramatic piano music things the nba is running all the time
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 7:08 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I Truthfully cant
The Guy Gives me a headache…..BRICK BACK SWEETWATER!
by Tony_O on Nov 23, 2008 7:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
absolutely terrible, that's all that needs to be said.
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ok wrong word
i don’t really need it explained, i just want it described…
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 7:11 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
he's a short bald guy
somewhere between Les Nesman and Herb Tarlick, he’s on the Wolves’ commercials, he’s trying to be a kind of retro 70s sports reporter, yellow sport jackets and plaid pants, that kind of thing. Could be good if the guy was funny.
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:14 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
sounds hilarious!
is mchale-hoiberg also running the marketing department?
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 7:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
HAHA!
best comment everrrrzzzzz!!!!!!!!
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:25 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Best comment on Detroit Bad Boys:
“Did you know the Pistons payroll is only $2.3M more than Minnesota? I learned that just now on ESPN Trade Machine trying to trade anyone and everyone on our team for some of the key pieces on the Minnesota juggernaut.”
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:10 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
maybe we could work something out
and take them from bad boys to shad boys
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 7:13 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
the shad boys?
wow…you went from best comment ever to lamest
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
shad boys shad boys
whatcha gonna do
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
This is awesome
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:12 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
who is that white dude?
the wolves need to trade all their draft picks for him tomorrow, what a look!
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:12 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Walter Hermann...
…ist ein Deutcher.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:14 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ach so!
Ich dachte, dass er aus Argentina war.
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Was?!
Ich habe ein krankenschwester in mein haus.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
lol
no he said he had a nurse in his house ;)
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:19 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
It's the extent of mein Deutsch.
I come from a French-German border family and I only know swears and bad Fre-man. I suspect it may simply be my grandpa making crap up.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:22 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
oui
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Wo ist...
..ein grosse bibliotek?
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:17 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Ich habe keine ahnung. Ich lese nicht; Ich nur liebe der zombie-ball.
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 7:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
das ist wie
ein Lied von Falco!
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
zombie-ball...
…ist sehr gut.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:28 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
damn the wolves can't miss
cavalier throw in as we go to time out…
by secretarykissinger on Nov 23, 2008 7:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
The Wolves...
…came into the game with 1052 points for and 1108 against. If they win by 25, they will only be -31 for the year.
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
www.canishoopus.com
by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
-30 for the year
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:20 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
it makes up for the ridiculous boston game
The World's Leading Exporter of Small Area Quickness
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:20 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Why Cardinal?
They’re showcasing him for trade bait.
by PoorDick on Nov 23, 2008 7:22 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Wow.
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by Stop-n-Pop on Nov 23, 2008 7:20 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
RIGHT ON HERE'S OVERBECK AGAINZZZZZZ!!!!!!
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:21 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
oh right!
Pistons fan!
speaking of Det., anyone remember this hot commercial: “Come on Barry, come back! You’re not that old!”
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:25 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
wow the Erik's bike shop commercial
is even worse than Overbeck!
Alright nice chatting with you gents, let’s hope this is a harbinger of things to come!
by plinytheelder on Nov 23, 2008 7:34 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Just a quick shout: no interest in Kaman.
by Wim (Belgium) on Nov 25, 2008 3:38 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
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