Fear not Detroit! While your captains of industry may have run your city into the ground (and flown away on private jets) Minnesota has just the ticket for any ills your professional basketball team may be having: Our Beloved Puppies Zombies. I know it's not much, but it's the best we can do right now.
For all of you Detroit fans who don't play much (or any) attention to our favorite team, let me give you a brief rundown of where things stand: Last year the Wolves were simply awful. This year they are simply awful. Glen Taylor continues to poke fans in the eye with his insistence that up is really down, Kevin McHale is still employed, Randy Wittman has a career .328 winning percentage (and $5 mil + 1 year remaining on his contract), and Randy Foye can't play point. That's about it.
For our loyal readers, this is the last time I mention Foye's inability to play point. Randy is a nice player, a wonderful story, and a tremendous asset to his community. He was placed in an untenable situation by a posse of clowns who don't get the fact that the only reason they got as close to winning as they did in the first place was because they drafted a historically great player who they then failed to properly utilize...and who was properly utilized in less than a single calendar year after being traded away to the Celtics. These clowns then have the nerve to tell their fans that the new squad has the juice to go .500. They shout out to the world that their coach--a guy who could reach his 100th loss with the team in less than 2 full years today in Detroit--is safe and will be going nowhere any time soon. Stick. Eye. Poke.
Completing the circle, let me take you back to a quote from April 15, 2008:
"I just shudder when I hear people judging players a year into their career," McHale said. "If you were to judge John Stockton after his first year and a half in the league, you'd say, 'Well, Rickey Green is playing ahead of him.' Now you look back and John Stockton is in the Hall of Fame."
That would be Mr. McHale talking about Mr. Foye. Again, Randy had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the clown posse traded away Brandon Roy for the Villanova combo guard + cash and then handed him the keys to the team at the point.
Really, really, really completing the circle, I strongly urge Minnesota legislators to seize the Timberwolves and all their assets, declare the organization to be a bank holding company, and jet off to D.C. with hats in hand to beg for TARP funds and a new front office. Let's close out this bad boy with some bullet points:
- Minnesota starting center Jason Collins is making $6.2 million this season. He has a career PER of 7.5. (Thanks to new commenter SL9 for the Collins PER info. As always, Canis Hoopus greatly values what its readers bring to the table, especially with stats.)
- Mike Miller is averaging a hair over 6 shots/game over the team's last 5 contests. His career average for FGAs is 11.4/game.
- There has been a lot of buzz about the trades in New York and their relevancy to the 2010 free agent class, especially concerning one Lebron James. One thing that isn't getting talked about is the fact that Cleveland absolutely, 100%, super-duper cannot let LBJ walk for nothing. Cleveland GM Danny Ferry (yes, the Dukie) should have a pretty clear idea as to whether or not he can retain James by the 2009 trade deadline. Why let him walk when you can reset your franchise by trading the best player in the world? The Blazers can literally give the Cavs a new starting 5 in a sign-and-trade with Rudy Fernandez, Sergio Rodriguez, Travis Outlaw, the Vanilla Gorilla, and Nic Batum for LBJ. It's better than nothing...which is exactly what they'll get if they let him hit the open market. James is going to get maxed out no matter where he goes. If he walks from Cleveland with nothing in return, the franchise crumbles. If they pull a sign and trade, the Cavs can at least pad the landing.
- There has also been a lot of fan buzz in Wolves fan boards and chat rooms about the fact that Chris Kaman is apparently on the trade market. I myself am kind of ambivalent about Mr. Kaman. Regardless of my personal feelings, the only way the Wolves make a trade of this significance is if they package the expiring contract of Jason Collins with Mike Miller and a player in the $2-3 mil/year range like Foye or Craig Smith. This would give them about $18 mil to work with in any hypothetical deal (they'll have to take back more than simply the player they want). Fans always tend to overvalue the talent on their favorite team and this is especially the case here in Minny. I'm not sure the Wolves have anything that would be of value to the Clips. Another problem they face is that a guy like Miller is only really valuable to teams that are playoff bound and searching for that extra push over the top. I'm sure the Lakers would love to have him and that he'd make a nice fit on Portland as well (who take a lot of 3s and play more to his style), but I'm not sure what the Clips would want with Miller. It should also be mentioned that the Clips have a well-documented history of taking McHale to the cleaners when it comes to deals between the two franchises. It should also, also be mentioned that any deal involving these two teams will likely come with a request from LA that the restrictions be removed on the Minny 1st rounder still owed to LA's lesser franchise via the Marko Jaric trade. Yes, the Marko Jaric trade. Stick. Eye. Poke. Enough with the Kaman talk....unless you want the team to give away its top pick in this year's draft.
- Earlier this week on KFAN's Chad Hartman show, the Son of Sid mentioned that Kevin McHale did not talk to UNC coach Roy Williams before selecting Rashad McCants in the 2005 Draft. If any of our fantastic readers come across any info on this point, please place your findings the comment section.