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Around SBN: Josh Hamilton's Unique Public Statement On His Addiction

And now for something completely different...a few thoughts on Tiger

Tigerwoodssmile_medium

I can pinpoint the exact moment I started hating Tiger Woods. 

Star-divide

It was the first week of April, 2009 and I was sitting in the large and metallic office of my former boss, a lower-middle manager at a well-known national corporation.  Two months prior to this early April meeting my boss was conspicuously called away to corporate headquarters for what he pitched as an "exclusive and important" meeting about the future of the company.  One month prior to the April meeting my boss's boss was conspicuously summoned to corporate headquarters for what he pitched to his minions as an "urgent and uniquely strategic meeting about the future of the organization". (As a quick side-note, this little timeline definitely says something about advancement in corporate America.  If you are interested in making the move from lower middle management to middle middle management, it is imperative that you learn how to dress up your superiors' bullshit in exceedingly flowery language.) Two weeks prior to the April meeting my boss, my boss's boss, my boss's boss's boss, and all of their minions were summoned to the building's auditorium where we heard a pre-recorded message from our company's CEO about his decision to sell the company, as well as a brief lecture on all of the sad emotions that come along with making a deal that netted his bank account tens of millions of dollars.

The time in between my boss's meeting and the multi-media break-up lunch time presentation can roughly be described as a never ending parade of downwardly rolling shit.  Somewhere around Christmas time someone high up in the corporate office figured out that it was about time to sell the company for a massive profit and he (or she) knew that an increase in sales would not only increase the bottom line of the transaction, but it would also be a fabulous way for the purchasing company to have a concrete method of purging undesirable employees from the new entity  following the completion of the sale. 

The word went out and new numbers were demanded from markets that had been performing at a steady clip for years and years, and from which no new performance metrics were expected.  Lower middle managers were brought in to corporate HQ, given the dog and pony show (complete with pep talks from upper management for added effect), and then sent back to their already-mined territories to put the screws on their underlings.  When that, surprisingly, didn't work, middle middle managers were summoned to HQ, given a night out on the town with their corporate masters (who delivered a very personalized version of the "someday this could be you" speech to $75,000 boys with dreams of being $150,000 men), and then released upon the lower middle level managers who failed to get their underlings to deliver what upper management wanted from their underlings....or something like that. 

Getting back to the timeline, one week before my April meeting in the large and metallic office of my middle manager boss, my sales team was called into a special meeting with some consultants from the company who had just purchased us out and we were told that our performances and records were all being carefully examined and that we would soon find out where we would be "mapped" into the structure of the new organization.  After an hour or two of pointed questioning, we underlings were able to gather the following information:

  • The reason why it was taking so long to map our positions into the new company is because the new company didn't seem to actually employ our jobs.
  • The new company was not going to create any new jobs.
  • The new company has a similar position to our old jobs and 2 of these spots were open in Minnesota.
  • The new company appreciated all 16 members of our sales team being patient with the transition into a new corporate environment.

On the day of my early April meeting I was sitting at my desk, enjoying a cup of coffee with a fellow yet-to-be-mapped co-worker when my boss's secretary came into our cubicle area with a sad look on her face and a handful of sealed envelopes that she handed to my co-worker, our two other cubicle mates, and me.  We all looked at the letter for a moment before I said "do you think it says 'get out' or get the f-out'" and tore into what we all knew was step number one in our quick march to the unemployment line. 

The letter itself was actually a form letter from our new company's Regional Sales Manager which largely and metallicly requested my presence in

 

ROOM 203

 

at

10:30 A.M.

so that you and

YOUR MANAGER 

can meet and discuss all of the

EXCITING NEW CAREER OPTIONS AVAILABLE TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. 

I showed up at the large and metallic office at 10:30 A.M. and was met by a short, well-dressed man who introduced himself as the Regional Sales Manager, and a distractingly overweight woman who was outfitted as though she were 60 pounds lighter than she really was who was introduced as "being from HR".

After a few awkward attempts by the Regional Sales Manager to find out about my family and me I tuned the little douchebag out and focused on what appeared to be a new addition to the wall behind my boss's desk: a large framed motivational poster with bright white lettering spelling out the word  "DRIVEN," which was directly below the following photograph:

Tigerwoods_medium

I honestly cannot tell you what was written below DRIVEN because the large HR lady repositioned herself behind the Regional Manager and because I was distracted by the large Nike golf bag in the corner of the office (adorned with Nike fairway wood club covers, Nike towels, and a plush tiger driver cover), a Nike golf jacket on the edge of the desk between the Regional Manager's mobile phone and his laptop computer, a book about Earl Woods (Tiger's father) resting near the fat forearm of the mute woman from HR and some curious words of parting wisdom from the Regional Manager. 

"Nate, I know how hard this is on you."

"Thanks, I'm sure you've done this enough where I should view that as being the most true thing you'll tell me all day."

"Right...I...Do you golf?"

"Only when others pay. I'm not good enough to spend my own money on that much of a mess. I suppose there's a lot of that going around."

"Do you know that after Tiger Woods won his first Masters he completely retooled his swing because he knew that he could never be as good as he could possibly be if he stuck with his old swing?"

"No, but that totally sounds like Tiger."

"Doesn't it? The point here is that Tiger was never satisfied to rest on his laurels.  He knew that in order to maximize his unique skill set he had to completely recalibrate his mindset and mechanics."

"Mindset and mechanics, got it."

"He retooled his game and went on to win the Tiger Slam.  I want you to retool your game and win the Nate Slam."

"Retool my mechanics, Nate Slam, got it."

"Susan will need your badge when you leave but before we do that we need you to sign this paperwork."

Anddddddd....CUT!!!

Tiger Woods is not a person.  Tiger Woods is a brand.  It is a carefully manicured set of fuzzy principles and generic corporate ethics that is bottled up and sold by a man who, apparently, has a thing for sexting, swearing at photographers and hounding around on his wife. My guess is that these qualities can also be assigned to my former Regional Sales Manager but I cannot say for sure, as I highly doubt that he has a New Zelander caddy following him around on the links.

Tiger Woods exists not to play golf at an unbelievably high level, but solely as a device to separate you from what is in your wallet with a dash of Tom Peters quotes, a pinch of IMG management, and a heaping dollop of corporate sponsorships.

When I was handed a pink slip by a Regional Manager with a hard-on for little Eldrick Woods I ended up having a few weeks with a whole lot of time on my hands.  When I was not job hunting I was reading all I could about Tiger Woods. The thing that most amazed me about the man was not his otherworldly abilities on the golf course (and he really is something to behold with a club in his hands) but the blatant way in which Eldrick's brand has been positioned as nothing other than a machine to move as much product as possible, and how no one really seems to give a damn about this.

The transparency of the bullshit surrounding Woods is simply stunning.  From the words of wisdom from his con man father to the mythology surrounding his "creation" as a player, "Tiger Woods" is a series of corporate board decisions that are as precisely calculated as an Eldrick Woods 8 iron from 180 yards out to get you, the consumer, to rationalize spending tens, if not hundreds of percentage points above cost on everything from golf balls, to posters, to management theory books, to clothing, to shaving cream and beyond. 

Perhaps it is fitting that Tiger Woods, the brand, is one of the leading symbols of modern corporate America.  With the financial pages being filled with nothing other than stories about greed and grift, perhaps Tiger Woods was created to meet the demands of its audience rather than being a culture-driving force of its own. 

Whatever the case, the "value" associated with a brand built on the back of a fake-thug=caddy-accompanied golfer with a penchant for bad taste humor, lots of yelling, and screwing women he is not married to represents something of a moral ponzi scheme. The only way a multi-millionaire golfer becomes a billionaire brand is if people look the other way and knowingly sell something they know is not as something they would have others believe it is. 

Screw those people.  Screw them all to hell.  

How do you know I am hitting the mark?  Take a look at how Tiger's fellow golfers/financial beneficiaries are reacting to the news that Eldrick doesn't exactly live up to Tiger's reputation.  Nobody except for the chivalrous Jesper Parnevik seems to have the cajones to forgo a lifetime of appearances in Golf Digest and the sponsor's tent to say what needs to be said: Eldrick Woods is a terrible human being that bares little resemblance to the corporate monstrosity that moves billions of dollars of overpriced golf equipment and cars.  You know, the guy who gets turned into a cartoon kid (Little Tiger) to sell overpriced sports drinks.

Do you remember when everyone got their undies in a bunch about the Stop Snitchin' movement because it became a hip-hop slogan popular with drug dealers? Do you really want to know why a bunch of rich white golfers aren't saying shit about Tiger even though you know damn well that they all have a Eldrick hound dog story of their own?  I'll give you a hint: It has to do with millions and millions of sponsorship dollars and tour prizes.  The PGA: Where No Snitchin' Happens.

The reason why I put this article on this site is because I believe it brings up issues of class and economics (not race) that need to be addressed in modern life.  Our ability to look the other way as value is artificially inflated is a stunningly prevalent component of what it means to be an American these days.  Our corporate culture is broke, our consumers are either broken or cynical, our watchdogs have been replaced by hen house-guarding foxes, and we put up with an amazing amount of transparently bullshit bullshit.  I cannot think of a better example for everything that is wrong with...well, everything, than Eldrick/Tiger Woods. His value is what it is because of gross manipulation and the willingness of people in the know to look the other way.  Tiger's only thought right now is how to maintain that value, at any cost.  Meanwhile, no one really questions whether or not it is a good thing to allow for things to be so artificially inflated.  No one really questions whether or not it is a good thing to live amongst so much bullshit.  We are a mean country.  We are a mean country that relies on pretending that things are as they are not in order to get by.  It's all very depressing.

I'm with Jesper.  I wish she would have used a driver.  I just wish she would have used it a long, long, long time ago.

Comment 87 comments  |  2 recs  | 

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This could probably be said about LeBron

And Kobe too, prior to his affair in Colorado.

Since it’s relevant to say here, this is also one of the reasons I love Allen Iverson. Whatever he’s doing or what people think of him, he’s being real.

by Oceanary on Dec 3, 2009 11:02 PM CST reply actions  

Definitely..

….about LeBron.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 3, 2009 11:05 PM CST up reply actions  

Number 6

That’s when I really started to hate LeBron. When he said that #23 should be retired by the league and he’s switching to #6. Bill Russell’s number.

Admit it, LeBron. It’s all about selling jerseys to all those suckers who bought your #23.

Pining for a Troy Hudson/Marko Jaric backcourt.

by SBG on Dec 4, 2009 9:16 AM CST up reply actions  

Yep..

…I put up a little fan post when he did that about how Cavs fans should be worried because it will be much easier (and more beneficial) to sell a new number in a new city than it will be the old Cav-worn 23. It’s a lot like when the North Stars switched unis and became a more portable “Stars”. And yes, it is a slap in the face to probably the 2nd greatest player of all time…who deserves just as much respect (if not more considering his social impact) than MJ.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 9:21 AM CST up reply actions  

My biggest issue

is why can’t LeBron just choose his own number? Throw out 3, 6, 21, 23, 33, and 34, and you’re still left with 95 (including 0 and 00) jersey numbers to choose from. He’s good enough that he could make his own number forever known as “LeBron’s number,” and instead he’s paying homage to others.

by John Doe on Dec 4, 2009 11:05 AM CST up reply actions  

If he’s using math to decide his new number, why not (2+3=)#5?

by pagingstanleyroberts on Dec 4, 2009 11:51 AM CST up reply actions  

Maybe He Did

2*3=6

Pining for a Troy Hudson/Marko Jaric backcourt.

by SBG on Dec 4, 2009 2:55 PM CST up reply actions  

That was my original point. If he chose #6 partially based on the 2*3 thing, then….

by pagingstanleyroberts on Dec 9, 2009 1:48 PM CST up reply actions  

Jordan, too.

And that’s so true about Iverson. He’s gotta be one of the most interesting athletes in pro sports.

by LoveTo on Dec 4, 2009 1:17 AM CST up reply actions  

I agree about LeBron

Not really Kobe as he was always an anti-hero. He definitely has tried to cultivate that since 2004 though.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 1:28 AM CST up reply actions  

Nicely done.

A very well-written piece.

I’m surprised, though, with your background in politics, that the outrage over people looking the other way while “their” Tiger’s flaws are exposed is what triggered this, since each week we seem to have a politician’s peccadillos defended by roughly half of the electorate (and I bet you have a few untold stories that played out on both sides of the aisle).

Also! This sh*t ain’t new—and I’d argue that the good old days were a lot worse than it is right now. We just didn’t have the good and decent people at TMZ to help us shine the light in every dark corner. Yes, we keep getting that step backward for every two forward that we take. But because humans are involved, it’s about as good as we’re going to do.

F*ck it! KEEP PLAYING.

by PoorDick on Dec 4, 2009 12:03 AM CST reply actions  

I wonder if Big Al

realized just how deep that was when he said it.

by LoveTo on Dec 4, 2009 1:17 AM CST up reply actions  

Maybe some day

some decent hardworking young man will be invited into his employer’s sterile conference room, sit down across from a couple of disingenuous middle managers, and get made redundant. As he stares at the walls behind their heads wondering what to do next, he’ll gaze upon a motivating poster of AlJeff, with the caption “F*ck it! KEEP PLAYING!”

by PoorDick on Dec 4, 2009 7:38 AM CST up reply actions  

Anyone with some photoshop skills lurking around? This would make an awesome successory.

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

by Xand1 on Dec 4, 2009 9:53 AM CST up reply actions  

How about this

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 3:00 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

AWESOME!!!!

Now can you tweak it so the top of his head isn’t cut off, and make two versions: one for family/work/yourlocalhouseofworship, and another that the Wolves can blow up and put in the locker room?

Where do I send my check?

by PoorDick on Dec 4, 2009 3:49 PM CST up reply actions  

Nice!

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to work for someone with this on their wall rather than some inspirational word beneath a mountain!

by Rumblebee on Dec 4, 2009 10:24 PM CST up reply actions  

I do not disagree...

…with you that the same problems of brand identification have worked themselves into politics. It’s absurd and yes, I am 100% positive people look the other way and all I can say is that you should have read my old political blog. Although, with politics most of the looking the other way involves the absurd ways in which policy is molested and/or cheated on, not the ladies. That’s the disgusting stuff and it is where the vast majority of looking the other way happens. The sexual peccadilloes are relatively meaningless compared to that sort of thing. Political looking the other way involves a politician on a committee that oversees a a particular industry letting go his legislative director to become a lobbyist for said industry and then letting him submit industry-favorable legislative language in exchange for a steady stream of PAC money. If that sort of thing happened on the corner of whatever and Hennepin he’d be arrested for prostitution. In Congress, not so much.

I’d differ with you on the idea that this shit ain’t new. The basic idea of the grift has been around forever but the ways in which Tiger exists (or in which our national politics have been run since Newt) is very different. The intertronz and cable tv changed a lot of this and made image and immediacy different than what they were before.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 7:01 AM CST up reply actions  

Spot on, Pop

Like many of us, I was having a discussion tonight with friends (over some good wine) about this Tiger mess and I made exactly the same point. Don’t think of him as a person, think of him as a brand. Early that very morning, when she should have used a driver, Team Tiger was frantically mapping out a strategy to minimize damage to the BRAND. His brand has made individuals and corporations a lot of money and damage to the brand has to be contained. He has always appeared oddly superficial, lacking depth, calculated. Part of that is the pressure of living in the spotlight, I guess. But most of it is that the brand (the outward appearance) bore little resemblance to the man. I pity her because she has lived with this her entire marriage, but he lives the life he wants to.

by shboom on Dec 4, 2009 12:06 AM CST reply actions  

I don't blame Tiger.

Don’t make me out to be some kind of a fanboy, because I’m certainly not. I think golf is stupid, and don’t really care one way or the other what happens next with this whole story. But I don’t blame Tiger for acting in his own self-interest. If corporate lackeys want to use his likeness for profit, it’s on them. Why wouldn’t he accept their money?

The US economic system sucks. The business world sucks. Our countries priorities suck. I don’t think Tiger sucks any more than most men with his combination of fame, wealth, and power. For people like Tiger, it’s not whether or not they cheat, but rather whether or not they get caught. It would be naive to assume otherwise.

And hey- at least he didn’t rape anybody.

by John Doe on Dec 4, 2009 12:23 AM CST reply actions  

Want to Act in Your Own Self-Interest?

Then I suggest you not get married. Picking up cocktail waitresses in every town when you have a wife and kids at home is bullshit. I don’t care if you have $10 or $10 billion.

Pining for a Troy Hudson/Marko Jaric backcourt.

by SBG on Dec 4, 2009 9:21 AM CST up reply actions  

Agreed...

…I’m amazed that Jesper is the only one to hold this basic line in the sand. There was a good article about Elin and Jesper’s wife was asked if she worried that he would be tempted by….she interrupted the question and said something to the effect of “Do you mean am I worried that he’ll screw the help? Our relationship is built on more trust than that.” She was rightly offended by the absurdity of the climate where such a question could be asked with a straight face. Now throw a couple billion dollars onto that absurd situation and you have a world where a cartoon Tiger tells kids to Just Do It…or whatever.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 9:26 AM CST up reply actions  

On one hand, I don't condone it.

But on the other, hopefully without getting into a huge discussion on human sexuality, I don’t believe that people, particularly males, are predisposed to monogamy. Certainly we’re capable of it, but in a world of no consequences (i.e. that of a professional athlete) I can see why a lot of people wouldn’t stay true to just one woman.

Also, where do women who are only attracted to these men because of their wealth and fame fit into the socially acceptable notion of what marriage is supposed to be? We’re all happy to pretend that Elin would love Tiger just as much if he were a plumber, but we still expect our male celebrities to adhere to this antiquated system of family life.

Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten married. If he broke a commitment to monogamy, then that’s lousy. But as long as we’re making a list of all the stupid aspects of our society this whole incident shows, one such aspect would be our determination to force rich, young athletes into a way of life that doesn’t jive with their biological instincts. Another would be our feigned shock every time it is revealed that someone else wasn’t faithful. Maybe if society were more realistic and open about our sexuality, Tiger wouldn’t have felt obligated to enter in a commitment to one woman. He could have been upfront about his situation, and Elin could have made the choice to either stay with him despite it or lower her standards to someone not worth billions.

by John Doe on Dec 4, 2009 11:34 AM CST up reply actions  

I'm sorry, did someone "force" Tiger into getting married?

That’s just ridiculous. George Clooney is in his forties and bangs hot young starlets all day long, and people don’t care (actually, it may make him MORE popular) because he was wise enough to remain single.

by Princely Frank on Dec 4, 2009 11:56 AM CST up reply actions  

Well...

Go back and read what I said. I said that if he wanted to act only in his own self-interest, he shouldn’t have gotten married. Who forced Tiger Woods into getting married? The same people who forced Derek Jeter to get married?

Pining for a Troy Hudson/Marko Jaric backcourt.

by SBG on Dec 4, 2009 11:57 AM CST up reply actions  

I read it.

Perhaps I wasn’t as articulate as I thought I was being, but I’m fairly certain I didn’t imply that anyone forced Tiger to get married. To clarify, yes, Tiger is primarily at fault. Yes, he shouldn’t have gotten married if he was going to cheat. (Prepping Stephen A. Smith voice…) HOWEVER!

I just don’t care. Tiger is nothing special, only a bigger name than usual. Every athlete cheats on his wife. Every wife married the athlete for his fame and money. These marriages are shams and you can’t make me care about them. To me the greater tragedy here is that we still feel the need to feign outrage every time this happens, and that we’re all so sexually repressed that more of us can’t accept that success in life doesn’t hinge on one’s ability to get married by his late twenties.

by John Doe on Dec 4, 2009 4:19 PM CST up reply actions  

But..

…the marriage (and kids) is part of the brand:

Right now his lawyers and handlers are figuring out how much it would cost to go forward with Elin as a business partner instead of a wife. If this were just Eldrick Woods, fine, but if you are going to sell a product and part of that product is the perfect little family then it’s not a matter of a commitment to monogamy, it’s a matter of him selling a bunch of crap.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 12:00 PM CST up reply actions  

Even that is image

Ever know an actual border collie? They’re incredible working dogs. People think they’re great pets because they’re intelligent, as in problem-solving intelligence.

But live with one for a while. They need to work. They are almost psychotically motivated to work. A dog like that, bored, is a problem waiting to happen for families. Do you think Eldrick, who’s similarly motivated by his game, is devoting the kind of time a dog like that needs? I’m going to say no. Extremely likely: no.

Makes a nice accessory for a picture, though.

"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."

by feral on Dec 4, 2009 5:30 PM CST up reply actions  

You don't blame him....

….But do you think it’s wise of a person to allow that to happen to himself? He took their money. What was he selling?

I don’t give a rip about the various happenings this week, and have tried to tune the media din out. Tiger isn’t causing S-n-P to get fired, or dealing meth down at the Walgreens parking lot. (I mostly read this post because S-n-P’s description of the layoff process was sharply done. Oh, how I have been in that seat. This is why you do things like quit your job and go to med school.) However, I am a moralizer in some ways. When we read 19th century novels in school, I looked at each character as a sort of moral story about what kind of person to be. It’s a priggish quality, though ironically most of the stuff society finds horribly immoral I think is a lot of hot air. Go ahead, lust after your neighbor’s wife.

Anyway, leaving the sexual stuff entirely to one side, is this the kind of commercial commodity of a life something anyone should choose? Do you think Tiger’s happy? No matter how many yachts you own to waterski behind, all you really have in the end is the experience in your own head. Is Tiger’s experience really better than yours?

I don’t hate him. The quote…. let’s see…. Why do you like SCUBA diving, Tiger?

“The fish don’t know who I am.”

That’s life in a cage.

"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."

by feral on Dec 4, 2009 9:42 AM CST up reply actions  

Maybe he would be happier

had he made himself less of a global icon. But realistically, how different would his life be if he turned down a few endorsements? He’s possibly the greatest golfer of all time; he isn’t going to just not be famous. Might as well take people’s money, I say.

And anyway, we don’t need to decry Tiger for how corporate he became. The consequences of that are built into the effects it had on his life. I suppose we can point out that he’s a hypocrite for accepting this falsified media friendly image, but is that really even a surprise?

by John Doe on Dec 4, 2009 11:40 AM CST up reply actions  

http://www.tigerwoodsfoundation.org/

He does a lot of good with his fame and fortune.

If he turned down those corporate sponsorships, it might end up looking like last night’s episode of The Office.

by Andy G on Dec 4, 2009 1:38 PM CST up reply actions  

Stanley's reaction was fantastic

“Hee hee hee—has it been ten years already?!”

by PoorDick on Dec 4, 2009 2:28 PM CST up reply actions  

I also enjoyed Michael pulling out the laptop batteries.

by Andy G on Dec 4, 2009 4:14 PM CST up reply actions  

I am always amazed how people

who make money on their image complain of a lack of privacy.
If he played 20 tournaments a year and did no endorsements, I might feel a bit bad for him, but as soon as you take money to put your face in front of people…you get what you ask for.

by Rumblebee on Dec 4, 2009 10:35 PM CST up reply actions  

Great story SnP

I love the photo shop picture too.

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 1:28 AM CST reply actions  

I mean writing

Not story. You didn’t make anything up (sadly). But, as a story it works too. I miss corporate croneyism. (Yeah, right.)

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....

Oh, hes in the laegue two and Jayson Thomson and that Boggins dude on Milwokee, and Occur for the Jizz. Its a talented laegue.--Kfan in Korea

by pookeyguru on Dec 4, 2009 1:32 AM CST up reply actions  

danke

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 7:02 AM CST up reply actions  

I always enjoy your writing, SnP

But I wonder about this:

His value is what it is because of gross manipulation and the willingness of people in the know to look the other way.

Tiger’s value is certainly enhanced by his formerly clean cut image and the sport he competes in (being a sport favoured by the upwardly mobile amongst us). But the foundation of that value is that he is the very best of his generation in his chosen pursuit and may yet be judged the very best of all time. The people who follow him aren’t ohhing and ahhing at his clean cut image.

Do you really want to know why a bunch of rich white golfers aren’t saying shit about Tiger even though you know damn well that they all have a Eldrick hound dog story of their own? I’ll give you a hint: It has to do with millions and millions of sponsorship dollars and tour prizes. The PGA: Where No Snitchin’ Happens.

It may also have something to do with his transgressions being none of their business. It’s one thing to discuss the latest bimbo sotto voce in the clubroom, quite another to inject yourself into the middle of someone else’s marriage, noble intentions or not. No question Tiger is the cash cow of the PGA, but I wonder if you are unfairly attributing behaviour to money.

I can see why you hate the guy though; he is a totem for middle managers. Platitudes about personal growth and positive thinking dressed as a pissweak sporting metaphor.

Judd: "...I've since watched some Steven Seagal movies and I realise that pressure points are no laughing matter.".

by Auswolf on Dec 4, 2009 5:25 AM CST reply actions  

I wish...

…I could find the article but there is a chart that shows the economic impact of Tiger Woods on the PGA Tour. I’m sure that there are some feelings of general good will towards Woods’ privacy but I’m more sure that no one wants to send the gravy train off the tracks. How much will this hurt the earning potential of Woods, and thus the PGA? In that sense, this is very much a personal issue for everyone on tour. Here’s what happens when he doesn’t win:

When he wins, we watch
Average ratings since 1997, Tiger’s first full season as a professional

Masters
When Tiger wins: 9.5
When Tiger doesn’t win: 7.4

U.S. Open
When Tiger wins: 6.3
When Tiger doesn’t win: 4.6

British Open
When Tiger wins: 4.7
When Tiger doesn’t win: 3.9

PGA Championship
When Tiger wins: 6.0
When Tiger doesn’t win: 4.5

When he doesn’t play (and no one really seems to ask many questions about why he plays in the Buick Open while never having participated in the Chrysler Classic or how tourneys like the St. Jude Classic in Memphis have a better chance of seeing snow than Woods because it is a week before a major) the money literally leaves the room.

According to research that traced Woods’ effect on television ratings in 2007, tournaments in which he finished in the top five had a 171% increase in CBS’ ratings over those in which he did not play or wasn’t in contention.

The ratings were 4.6 compared with 1.7.

In similar tournaments on NBC, the ratings increase was 59%, or 3.5 compared with 2.2.

The two-network average showed an increase of 111%, or 4.0 compared with 1.9.

Rob Correa, senior vice president of programming for CBS Sports, said Woods’ influence on ratings is at least equal to any of the greatest figures in sports.

“He clearly moves the needle,” Correa said. “The Tiger Factor hasn’t wavered at all. There’s only been a handful who have had an impact like him on their own sports, like Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan. Those are the only guys.”

Correa said no one other than Woods moves the needle on golf’s television ratings.

“There’s not even a second place,” he said.

This entire sport has been massively overhauled since his 15 shot victory at Pebble Beach and his destruction of the Masters. Courses are now “Tiger Proofed” and the entire purpose of any event on the schedule is to get Tiger in attendance. Without him, Patty Harrington is your champion of the world:

In Woods’ absence, TV ratings plummeted for the remaining two of the Tour’s four major tournaments last year: down 55% for the PGA Championship, which Woods had won in 2007, and down 11% for the British Open. Irishman Padraig Harrington won both majors in Woods’ absence.

In September, BMW Championship ratings were down 61% in the final round from 2007, when Woods won. This year, ratings for the Buick Invitational were down 53% in the final round from 2008, when Woods won.

Most tournaments do not release attendance figures, but the crowd at last year’s AT&T National near Washington, D.C., was down 32,000 from a year ago when Woods played there. Officials at this year’s Buick Invitational said ticket sales were down 15% to 20% from 2008.

Now, however, Woods could be a one-man bailout for golf’s fortunes — or at least for its public relations efforts.

“Everybody knows that when the world’s No. 1 athlete plays, we have more eyes watching the broadcast, more headlines and more attention,” Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem says. “Tiger spikes everything. For us to have Tiger back after such a lengthy absence is special.”
In that same article, Kenny Perry lets the cat out of the bag:

For Woods’ rivals, his absence represented a chance to win tournaments without competition from the sport’s best player. But they — likely mindful of how the increased attention Woods has brought to the sport has helped make many players richer — seem as thrilled as Finchem that Woods is back.

“He’s carried this Tour, and this is a huge boost,” says Kenny Perry, who won two tournaments during Woods’ absence. “I joke with him every time I see him, asking if he needs me to park his car or carry his luggage. With the economy down, we need something to boost us up. And there’s going to be a gazillion reporters in Arizona.”

There aren’t quite that many, but Tour officials have issued credentials to more than 530 journalists, including crews from NBC News, ABC News and CNN. More than 100 members of the media greeted Woods on the driving range just after 7 a.m. Tuesday.
When the going is good they joke about carrying his bags because of all the money he brings to the tour. When the going is bad…well, they still are hoping they can joke with him when he shows up at the Buick Invitational next spring.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 6:43 AM CST up reply actions  

I can't verify this

but I feel confident saying that Tiger has doubled the income of all PGA Tour players the last fifteen or so years. There was a dramatic ratings jump when he joined the tour, followed by a large jump in prize money. Additionally, players make more endorsement money because even though half the fans are tuned in to watch Tiger, they still see whoever else is in competition. Also, Callaway, Titleist, etc. have to pay more endorsement money to counter act what Tiger does for Nike. BTW, want to see the big winner in all this – without Tiger, Nike Golf
Equipment and Apparel is basically non-existent.

by Rumblebee on Dec 4, 2009 10:41 PM CST up reply actions  

I've always been against Tiger

I grew up loving Jack so much that I’ve been rooting against Tiger for many years in the hope that he wouldn’t overtake my Golden Bear’s major record. 2009 gave me a little hope (even though Eldrick still played great). I agree that these megastars are a societal problem.

And I got canned from the corporate job in May so I can relate to that too – worked out well – I created my own job (Realtor) and it’s working well so far.

Visit my D2 Baseball Blog - Northern Sun Baseball

by FishingMN on Dec 4, 2009 6:33 AM CST reply actions  

I’m with Jesper. I wish she would have used a driver.

Come on, there was a good reason why Elin used the three iron on the Escalade window. It’s simply because she didn’t like the driver.

You were a daydreamer, a sass-mouth, and, not infrequently, a bit of a gigglepuss. Somehow I doubt twenty years of amphetamines and failure have done anything to improve that.

by Kevin Loves McHale's Navy on Dec 4, 2009 7:00 AM CST reply actions  

I think a 3 iron would hurt a lot more

I’m not looking to get hit by a golf club, but if I had to choose, I’d rather be hit by a driver than a 3 iron.

Pining for a Troy Hudson/Marko Jaric backcourt.

by SBG on Dec 4, 2009 9:25 AM CST up reply actions  

Lot of variables in that one

I think the head of a driver would generate more power. If I recall, drivers are longer, so they’d have a chance to transmit more force to what they hit. Any physicist/golfers out there?

by aarendsvark on Dec 4, 2009 1:39 PM CST up reply actions  

Irons have edges

The driver head is probably lighter and has a flat face. I think the iron would be more deadly.

Pining for a Troy Hudson/Marko Jaric backcourt.

by SBG on Dec 4, 2009 1:49 PM CST up reply actions  

maybe..

…a hybrid club would do the trick…although the new woods do have improved aerodynamics.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 2:29 PM CST up reply actions  

Driver would hurt more

the same physics that make a drive go 100 yards more than a 3 iron would also affect someone’s jawbone or nose!

by Rumblebee on Dec 4, 2009 10:42 PM CST up reply actions  

Yawn.....

Excellent post, but I wonder two things:

1. Why all the outrage when a star athlete or any celebrity turns him or herself into a brand? This is America after all. We (at least to some degree) still practice a form of capitalism. Athletes and celebrities don’t get super rich by being “real.” We pick apart everything they say or do that could be perceived as politically incorrect.

2. When will we quit feigning outrage, shcok and dismay with these types of stories? You mean young superstar athletes that are full of testosterone, money and fame like to have sex? Or even tell dirty jokes? Or (gasp!) drive 109 MPH on Highway 62? Yawn…..

Tiger went into full “brand mode” after the Charles Pierce piece that relayed a few instances where Tiger told some off-color jokes. People got offended. Tiger or his handlers were savy enough to see that if Tiger keeps being “real,” he better enjoy simply being a millionaire golfer instead of a billion dollar brand. Athletes go into brand mode because the PC version of modern American forces them to.

Of course, cheating on your wife should never be excused. But we’d all be much better off if we quit with the false outrage and moral musings and just encouraged Tiger to get back on the course and start ripping 350-yard drives again. After he’s signed his score card, he can tell dirty jokes to his buddies and bang any woman he wants.

by Ric Flair Guy on Dec 4, 2009 7:32 AM CST reply actions  

I'm with you to a certain extent (particularly on who Tiger is), but

what you describe is everyone’s responsibility. No one has an attention span anymore and needs to slow down and think for his/herself. You don’t have to root for the golfer Sportscenter tells you to, or believe politcally what CNN/MSNBC/Fox News tells you to.

On the societal side, there are no heroes coming. The last presidential election and aftermath proves that. Everyone is going to have to chip in to make things better.

by Punisher#8 on Dec 4, 2009 7:44 AM CST reply actions  

Well, it is everyone's responibility

but in response to both you and Ric Flair Guy (Woo!), that doesn’t excuse the responsibility, or at least culpability, of the corporatism that dominates our lives both politically and socially.

Look, we have opportunities to ignore and/or counter the corporatist amorality that controls so much of what we see, hear, buy, and do, but those who are driving that corporatist amorality strictly for profit have to take the lion’s share of that responsibility. Blame whatever you like at the bottom—yes, you can say it’s the market working, that it’s capitalism at work, which might be true. That isn’t an argument, though, it’s an assertion. That doesn’t make it right; unfettered greed at the price of humanity; the market uber allis, the willful ignoring of immoral and unethical behavior might be hallmarks of this economic system; that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

And even if SnP’s points about the Tiger branding aren’t brand new, they don’t deserve a yawn. We shouldn’t take this stuff for granted; indeed we should continue to talk about it. Just because it’s so integrated in our experience doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take note of it; in fact we must not let ourselves stop noticing.

by Eric in Madison on Dec 4, 2009 8:10 AM CST up reply actions  

Don't take it the wrong way

I’m not cheering on corporatism, I’m just saying that bashing corporations doesn’t make things any better. The politicians of both parties are at least as bad as the corporations.

Politics and even social viewpoints are branded to almost the same degree as Tiger. We need to get more local and think about how we interact with our neighbors instead of trying to change “the system”. Start small and big things happen.

by Punisher#8 on Dec 4, 2009 9:29 AM CST up reply actions  

Philosophically ...

…I think this could essentially be viewed as a need for a new Enlightenment. A post 20th Century return to the need to tend to one’s own garden and to find common value in Natural Law.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 9:37 AM CST up reply actions  

Exactly

My two cents would also be that urban sprawl, commuting and migration have a lot to do with so many of us collectively feeling distant from one another. The changes in how people move around and travel on a daily basis over the past century are unparalled in history. This is a huge challenge as most of us are farther from our relatives and less connected to our neighbors than at any point in history.

Countless independent small decisions led to sprawl, it’s by starting to make different decisions one at a time that we reconnect with our community.

by Punisher#8 on Dec 4, 2009 9:49 AM CST up reply actions  

I think..

…the loss of consensus is the killer. It’s essentially an admission that the public search for common knowledge is bullshit and that everyone can function on their own without the advice of people who actually know what they are talking about. Faith and feeling are key motivators here. Once people figured out wedge politics and wedge branding, this propensity to distrust expertise and view every moral equation as a simple binary matter of right/wrong, left/right or fair and balanced that can be determined by anyone with the authority of nothing but personal experience, the ball was pushed over the edge and down the hill at an amazing pace. Consensus matters and it is at loggerheads with the sorts of things that we are bombarded with on a daily basis.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 10:26 AM CST up reply actions  

Loss of consensus, and as you have pointed out the shameless manipulation of consensus.

As seen most recently with CO2 and climate change. If you are not cynical and would like to be, read the e-mails by those who wrote the IPCC summary and contrast them with the impassioned/emotional pleas of those want us to restructure the world economy (including for developing countries) based on that summary. It’s certainly not the only example.

I need to drop this now, hoops is my tonic for the world’s ills.

by Punisher#8 on Dec 4, 2009 11:05 AM CST up reply actions  

How'd that sales career go for you?

Jeez, I can’t think why you didn’t sell more than the next suit in line….

You were selling Diderot’s Encyclopedia, right?

"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."

by feral on Dec 4, 2009 9:58 AM CST up reply actions  

you know..

…a sales career is not for you when you find yourself telling potential customers “you really don’t need to buy that because it overshoots your needs by about a thousand miles and you’d be much better served looking for a similar product on ebay.”

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 10:18 AM CST up reply actions  

Sounds like you work in Sales

It all comes down to one simple problem – Perception is Reality.

Don’t need to make the best product, just have the best marketing. I have read that GM for years (perhaps decades) did not worry about the inferiority of their products. They believed they could outsell superior foreign products through the power of their brand and advertising!

We also have too many people getting the treatment you received at work so that a small handful of elites can accumulate more and more wealth. I have strong connections to a major corporation that makes thousands of products. They have used outsider CEOs for about a decade now. These “invaluable” outsiders make 100 times more than the average employee at the company, even though over half the products sold today were being produced before they arrived. Funny how they get the credit for work done by others years before they arrived. I’m amazed how thousands of employees can be nothing more than cogs while one person gets credit for all their work and “Innovation”.

by Rumblebee on Dec 4, 2009 10:54 PM CST up reply actions  

Glad to see Candide back in the threads

tempered by some John Locke. With the dumbing down of America, I agree that the world would benefit from a new Enlightenment, or, shall we say, a new and improved Enlightenment (with up to %50 more enlightener).

But seriously, this is the most amazing sports blog/public sphere. Habermas would be most impressed, though I suspect he’s not a Wolves fan.

An intellectual high-five to all (any photoshopped rendition of that would be most appreciated).

by uncle rico on Dec 5, 2009 11:26 AM CST up reply actions  

My bud George said it pretty well
And even if SnP’s points about the Tiger branding aren’t brand new, they don’t deserve a yawn. We shouldn’t take this stuff for granted; indeed we should continue to talk about it. Just because it’s so integrated in our experience doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take note of it; in fact we must not let ourselves stop noticing.

"Sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious."
— Orwell

"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."

by feral on Dec 4, 2009 9:50 AM CST up reply actions  

Nice write-up SnP...

I know several people that work for some of Tiger’s notable corporate sponsors, and have dealings with him and his team all the time. From the stories I’ve heard, I can assure you there is not a more arrogant, unapologetic, despicable human being in professional sports today.

I truly believe there is balance in the universe, and what goes around comes around eventually. Tiger’s been digging himself into this karmic hole for years. There have been plenty of decent people along the way pointing this out to him, only to be told to STFU of kiss his ass. Why? Because he knew he could get away with it. He knew that when it came down to it, no one would drop him. That the money train would keep on chugging because the decision makers that could pull the plug were just as greedy and morally bankrupt as he was.

And what happened this week? Nada…zilch…not a single lost sponsor. And he just pays off his wife to leave him in three years instead of three days.

So for now I’m going to pop up some popcorn, laugh my ass off at every joke made at his expense, and watch and wait for Tiger to crash his reputation into a PR fire hydrant again. Because it will happen again…it always does when there are no consequences to your actions.

"I'm gonna make you cry...I'm gonna make you cry and dip my cookie in your tears!!!"

by mutleyil on Dec 4, 2009 8:10 AM CST reply actions  

Tiger = Barry Bonds?

Sounds like it. Except that Barry never had that outer layer of veneer.

Pining for a Troy Hudson/Marko Jaric backcourt.

by SBG on Dec 4, 2009 9:32 AM CST up reply actions  

Sorry SnP, I normally love your writing

but I could not disagree more strongly.

Let’s all throw our stones at Tiger for being a “terrible human being” and feign disgust when a golfer fails to provide a moral compass for everyone. Not only is Tiger responsible for being a perfectly moral person, now he’s being charged with corrupting our culture and is cited as an example of the downfall of corporate civilization as we know it.

I understand the feelings. People are mad at corporations for acting irresponsibly, causing our economic downturn and getting people fired. Tiger is an easy target for the bitterness of those on the wrong end of the economic downturn because he’s a spokesperson for many corporations, has a carefully guarded image and is well liked by a lot of businesspeople. Oh, and because he’s not faithful to his wife (a famous athlete who sleeps with a lot of women? Surely you jest?).

But you can’t really lay the blame at Tiger. In order for Tiger/Nike to sell the image, someone has to buy the image. And not only the image of “Just Do It”, but other images, like “United We Run” or “Yes We Can”, which are every bit as calculated as anything Tiger has ever put out.

So, we can put up our pinjatas of greed, like Tiger, and take swings at them whenever they give us a reason. And when LeBron does something that people do not agree with, he’ll be the next target of our moral angst. It might be more productive, however, to just look at our own moral failings, fix them where we can, watch golf when we want to and stop trying to treat athletes and other famous celebrities as beacons of anything other than their respective sports or crafts.

We are not a mean country. We’re an imperfect, and perhaps a naively optimistic, country. As individuals, we all have our bad traits. Martin Luther King Jr. was accused of extramarital affairs; Thomas Jefferson owned slaves; Pope Benedict XVI was a Hitler Youth member.

Some of us tend to focus on the positives. We see the green jackets, the red sweaters, and the gold trophies. It’s not necessarily delusion; its just preferable to constantly viewing everyone with judgment-colored glasses.

by TimAllen on Dec 4, 2009 9:23 AM CST reply actions  

My response to this..

….would be to agree with the basic optimism of the American Experience but to also point out that it was spared a number of growing pains associated with pre-Enlightenment drudgery (which, btw, seems to be making a comeback now that we have been attacked by terrorists…but that’s another topic altogether) and that it is also somewhat open to a blindside attack by those who are willing to take advantage of said optimism. By wanting to believe the best in people and ideas we are also amazingly equipped to put up with the worst and eventually the constant interplay between both the good and bad, the acceptable and unacceptable, and so on and so forth ends up as an equation where up is down to a whole lot of people. It’s the type of world where a President can accept a Nobel Peace Prize in the same breath as committing 30,000 additional troops to a war. Is Bill Clinton right that there is nothing wrong with America that can’t be solved by what is right with America? I think in the long run, yes, but right now I think we are a country that is learning to deal with an age where our best traits are in a position to be taken advantage of on a fairly large scale….thus the meanness.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 9:33 AM CST up reply actions  

Tis the season to watch It's A Wonderful Life, unfortunately,

over the last couple decades this wonderful country seems to be going on a path to Pottersville rather than Bedford Falls. The rich must get richer, even at the expense of others. We are also mortgaging the future to have a better life today. The ten trillion dollars in debt rolled up the last couple decades has benefited voters today (primarily those who represent huge voting blocks, i.e. the elderly and baby boomers) at the expense of those who will be required to pay in the future. It’s sad that people demand more government benefits at the same time they insist on tax cuts, with no worry about the effect it will have on anybody under 30-40 years old.

by Rumblebee on Dec 4, 2009 11:04 PM CST up reply actions  

Interesting post

and like some of the posters above, I enjoyed the intro bit about your work experience the most. Well-written.

This Tiger stuff is great celebrity gossip, and yes, it changes his image for the worst. Call me extremely naive, but I always held Tiger out to the same standard of insane/borderline psychopath strict lifestyle that I do Kevin Garnett. That is, even though he was a hundred-millionare by age 25, something tells me he doesn’t cheat on his wife. Obviously that isn’t the case.

But, it doesn’t change anything about Tiger Woods the golfer, which is all I’m interested in following. There are high school and college athletics to follow if you’re interested in a more genuine, wholesome product. Professional sports at their highest levels are all about greatness, and cashing in on that greatness. It changes some for the worse and some for the better. But, regardless, it’s where sports fans go to see world-class competition, which is something Tiger Woods can provide us with better than any living athlete. So, this doesn’t really change much for me, the sports fan.

As for Jesper, he probably is genuinely pissed at Woods for being a bad husband to a woman he set him up with. Clearly, he feels strongly about Elin or he wouldn’t so quickly terminate his friendship with Tiger. The other guys on tour have no personal reason to attack Woods, which is why they didn’t. Many of them have their own failed marriages. It’s pretty well known how difficult the PGA Tour life is on their families.

by Andy G on Dec 4, 2009 11:07 AM CST reply actions  

I am bewildered by America's pre-occupation with fame

I try to teach my kids not to view famous athletes and actors as anything more than they are: people who can hit a ball or deliver a joke. They are not heroes. They are just people who have a talent that is very publicly displayed.

I have never told my son to “Be Like Tiger” before, and I won’t now either. I don’t know Tiger as a person so I have no idea if he has any traits that should be emulated.

I do not buy products based on who they pay to endorse them. I don’t buy Buicks because I don’t like their looks, features, and gas mileage. Doesn’t matter if I see Tiger standing by one in an advertisement. Tiger makes more no more or less likely to buy Nike products.

Paparazzi, TMZ, and tabloid magazines make me want to puke. I have no interest in celebrities’ private lives. Why should I care who is sleeping with whom, what they look like on a beach with no makeup, etc? Is this news? Meaningful in any way? Why make their lives miserable by stalking them with a camera?

In no way do I feel Tiger or any other celebrity “owes me” information on anything in their private life. Obviously cheating on your spouse is very wrong. I just don’t know why it is my business. That is between Tiger, his family, and God.

"It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future." -- Yogi Berra

by Wile E Coyote on Dec 4, 2009 11:50 AM CST reply actions  

Wile Coyote makes some good points. Here is another

Some of the old farts on the blog will know that none of us is perfect. And some may recognize that lives follow a pattern.

Guys in their 30’s, married, with kids, become anxious. They are looking for something more, and other women begin to look attractive regardless of how great home life is. This happens in the burbs, in the cities and even in Alaska.

While Tiger may be despicable in some ways, everyone out there saying he is despicable because he cheated on his wife ought to reflect a bit. It could be you.

No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and lives follow patterns. Guys in their 30s tend to stray a bit. In the mid 40s, they get more interested in home life again.

Sometimes they are still married to the woman who bore their children, and that is wonderful. Sometimes they get kicked out and start a new family, and maybe that is good too, but not for the kids or the grandparents or the first wife. Although Elin will probably do fine.

But before we all tee off on Tiger, think about it. There is evidence in the bible that guys mess around. The notion of being true to your wife is relatively new, starting in Victorian England. Don’t set standards you cannot keep.

The messing around is not the bad part, nor is the fact that a golfer would seek to profit from his fame. The destruction of a family is the bad part.

When it happens to some of you younger guys, just remember this: The family is the important thing. Keep it together. And women, you are gonna get angry and feel betrayed, but hang with it for a while. The world deserves it. Be faithful to the family, if not to the guy.

And remember this: Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. It works two ways, drifting apart and coming together. Don’t let the church men and moralists force us into making choices we do not need to make. After all, the moralists among us hike the Appalachian trail too.

by timmuggs on Dec 4, 2009 11:33 PM CST up reply actions  

Tiger's public persona is a fairy tale.

Who knew?
He can blather on all he wants about privacy, but as a husband and father he’s a failure. I can’t see how this won’t wreck his brand. If you were a CEO, would you buy another motivational poster with his picture on it? Nope, not me either. I expect a lot of companies will be taking those posters down.

Thanks for the writeup, Pop. It made me stop and think about my own values, and what do I really think about what Tiger did.

by Dave T on Dec 4, 2009 2:21 PM CST via mobile reply actions  

Maybe...

or maybe he just needs to completely re-tool his apologetic face.

by oblivionspocket on Dec 4, 2009 3:43 PM CST up reply actions  

Perhaps he could add

a Starbury logo.

"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."

by feral on Dec 4, 2009 5:35 PM CST up reply actions  

probably doping too

I have always wondered how many players in the PGA are juiced? It will be the last sport to ever test as the powers don’t want to ruin the gentleman’s game image.

by merlin33 on Dec 4, 2009 3:47 PM CST reply actions  

Eureka!

Did SnP just find John Galt???

by Boss10 on Dec 4, 2009 6:04 PM CST reply actions  

good god no

;)

although rand did inspire a nice scene in the incredibles where the young kid complains about if everyone is special, then no one is. other than that, i’m not a fan…not a fan at all.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Dec 4, 2009 7:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Large Corporations

Great stuff SnP.

I worked for several years for one of the cool, silicon valley mega-companies and while many things were wonderful (brilliant people, great compensation, high quality work), there was still that goofy HR big company crap that happened.

The kind where noone says what is really happening.
Where hypocrisy happens on a regular basis.
And noone mentions that the entire thing, the profits especially, are fueled by extreme workaholism.

Nope, just lots of smiles and “energy”.

Tiger is the perfect poster child for all of that.
He ain’t what he seems to be.
He isn’t happy.
He works a ton.
He makes alot of money.
All smiles and “energy”.

Blech. So glad I left that this summer.
Happy as a clam in a small town, working for myself with a few friends.

by Django Z on Dec 4, 2009 10:46 PM CST reply actions  

The problem is that it works!

People blindly buy things because Tiger, Michael Jordan, or Dale Earnhardt promote the product.

by Rumblebee on Dec 4, 2009 11:10 PM CST reply actions  

My biggest issue with the Tiger affair

is CONTROL. Tiger’s dad controlled him and turned him into the golfer he is today, and since turning pro Tiger has attempted to control everybody and everything that interacts with him. The list is endless, from caddies to college sweethearts to TV announcers and journalists. Unfortunately, in the area the should be most important to him he was unwilling to control himself for the sake of HIS family. Someone this controlling of others cannot and should not get away with claiming he is human and had a transgression. He would never allow Elin to get away with treating him this way. It also is part of the reason other golfers are afraid to speak out against him, he wields too much power and control. Just ask Fuzzy Zoeller.

by Rumblebee on Dec 4, 2009 11:14 PM CST reply actions  

F#@K Tiger!

I haven’t read all of the posts here (several though), but I am going to take my shot at Tiger. I always HATED Tiger and golf for that matter too. Tiger is a douche bag, and I could care less about him, his image, his recreational hobby (golf), or anything related to him. I hope the ladies keep coming out of the wood work ruining his image. Also, Tiger is NO stud. Yes, he has a unique talent to swing a stick and put a round ball in a hole, but that’s it. That is not athletic and not a real sport. Ping pong is more of a sport than golf. At least in ping pong your opponent can affect your play. In golf, nothing the other guy does affects your play. It’s just a recreational activity if even that. Tiger doesn’t even carry his own clubs and who was that joker smoking while on his way to a tournament win. Please go play a real sport like rugby, basketball, even ping pong. His wife needs to leave him and take half.
Also, I agree with SNP’s comments concerning public image and the corporate bottom line. Selling us crap we don’t need at ridiculous prices.

by Wolf21 on Dec 5, 2009 8:18 AM CST reply actions  

The DeadSpin article took things to another level...

This is a grade-A skirt chaser who has enough status and money to have his own meat markets set up wherever he travels and basically have a porn star on retainer. It would’ve been one thing if he’d had a few mistresses; that would’ve put him in the “hey, it’s accepted in Europe” level. If SNL was still relevant, they’d do a skit for the 2025 U.S. Open in which Tiger is battling for the lead with his illegitimate kids (I know he probably doesn’t have any but it’d still be funny).

by pagingstanleyroberts on Dec 9, 2009 2:00 PM CST reply actions  

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Not 'yet another spaniard'...
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Another Spaniard fan! thanks for this forum :)
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Rubio talking trash with Kobe
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Yet another Spaniard
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United (under a smart coach) We (know when to) Run.

Recent FanPosts

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Minnesota Timberwolves Pyramid Game!
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How to help get us to where we want to go
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Pek's shot chart
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4-point play, explained
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2/4 Houston +2.5 at wolves
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Wolves to facilitate Dwight Howard Trade in my dreams.
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Wes Johnson 4 DUNK CONTEST?
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Projecting USA Basketball 2012
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Statistical brain teaser: Wolves' roster edition
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2/3 Wolves -5 at Nets

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    • In desperate need of an epic dose of basketball Viagra
    • Your source of radical left wing politics cleverly disguised as basketball fandom
    • Palin-Free since before statehood
    • Despairy Home Companion
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    • Wir Sind Darko
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    • Basketball success makes character issues forgivable
    • Building the Boogie Bandwagon
    • Building the Dream....One Power Forward At A Time
    • Kids, Puppy Dogs, And Long Walks In The Park
    • SWITCH THE FLIP!!!
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    • December is Bunny Month. Survive it with insincerity and Merle Haggard.
    • Like having a really good seat at a beheading.
    • We've got to have rules and obey them. After all, we're not savages. We're Wolves fans, and Wolves fans are best at everything.
    • Getting Real Mythological
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    • Estoy llevando mi talento a Minnesota
    • Where sharks do battle with giant eagles
    • You don’t put a saddle and reins on a magical unicorn, you bareback it and put faith in nature
    • Toeing the line between nerd and loser

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