A season preview --- for all ages

As many of you know, I'm a conspiracy theorist. Last year I wrote repeatedly about the Wolves tanking strategies. Kevin Love Jefferson and I were undaunted by others who said the Timberwolves were just a terrible team last we both believed that tanking was part of the master plan put together by the FO...

For the last 6 months I've been a stay at home Dad with my 2 year old daughter. Also during those 6 months, David Kahn has been putting together the roster of the 2010-2011 Minnesota Timberwolves. Each month, I get more and more convinced that I have unearthed the blueprint of Kahn and Rambis' rebuilding plans. Consider that Kahn is a family man himself. Think back to summer league with the Chris Webber incident...David Kahn had his kids with him. Did that seem a bit odd to you?

So what is the blueprint that Kahn and Rambis are following?  With McHale we knew he was trying to re-create  the 1986 Celtics. With Rambis is it the showtime Lakers?  Consider this, Rambis coached in LA for several years and Hollywood is in LA. So Rambis may have become star struck with all of the celebrities. 

So Kahn is a family man and Rambis is star struck???  That is when it occurred to me, the blueprint for the Minnesota Timberwolves rebuilding plan is ... 


Hear me out on this, let's examine the roster. 

First off, every team needs a star, someone who can appeal to the masses. A player with super talent and also a charismatic personality.  Obviously the timberwolves did not have a player like that last year. Someone like Cookie Monster, a real talented wild card on Sesame Street.  So the wolves went out and got their Cookie Monster, aka Michael Beasley

Size was another item that was addressed this offseason. On Sesame Street, the pairing of Big Bird and Snuffleufflegus  is legendary.  That frontline duo often can carry a whole 5-10 minute clip of the Sesame Street Hour.  The Wolves needed to improve their frontline size this offseason, and they locked up a talented pair of BIG euros in Darko and Pek, i.e. Big Bird and Snuffleufflegus respectively...

Sesame street has always had a dynamic duo to set the table. Most of us grew up watching Ernie and Bert, and they are still going strong. The Wolves needed desperately to add a pair of athletic wings this summer.  They did just that by landing their Ernie (Wes Johnson) and their Bert (Martell Webster).   It was a stroke of genius by Kahn to get Ernie's Rubber Ducky (Flynn) before landing Ernie, it took me a while to work that one out with my daughter's help.

Grover has been a part of Sesame Street for a long time, but recently he's been remade into Super Grover (my daughter just calls him Super).  Super Grover can fly, but is extremely clumsy. He has incredible moments, but also often times ends up crashing and burning. Oddly, the wolves have had their Super for awhile and his name is Corey Brewer...

Often times Oscar the Grouch is overlooked on Sesame Street, but his role is critical to the show. Without Oscar, all of the other character's positivity would seem contrived. Oscar is like the bad guy in a Movie that makes the whole show. Interestingly my daughter shows respect for Oscar even as a two year-old.  The Wolves have Oscar on their team. He makes the whole team go, who is it?  Why Kevin Love of course! 

Now a team isn't complete without a ringer. A player who can carry his own or shift gears and just make everyone look better. He's kind of like Oscar, but simply irresistable. On Sesame  Street, Elmo has carved out a niche like no other character. His talent is off the charts, he makes all the characters around him seem brilliant yet also secondary. Also, he brings in the younger audience (it was Elmo that hooked my daughter on Sesame  Street).  The Timberwolves are still working on this piece, but they have his rights... Ricky Rubio is our Elmo...


So to review, here is the blueprint:


Cookie Monster = Beasley

Big Bird = Darko

Snuffleufflegus = Pek

Ernie = Johnson

Bert = Webster

Rubber Ducky = Flynn

Super Grover = Brewer

Oscar the Grouch = Love

Elmo = Rubio


Be prepared for the non-denial denials from the front-office on this conspiracy theory....


And I urge everyone ...  be as excited as my daughter is everyday to watch this cast of characters !!!

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