f I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace, and the second would be that the Canis Hoopus community would all get a little holiday dash of badass.
That there, Canis Hoopus, is a tattoo that says something. Sure, that "something" might be in a Slavic language most of us don't understand. But let's be honest, ladies worldwide speak that language fluently, if you know what I mean. So I want to put this tattoo on my arm and so does the entire state of Minnesota. But because the Timberwolves marketing department is too scared to get close to this cold-blooded killer to build the all-too-obvious Nikola Pekovic Temporary Tattoo Night around him, I'm going to do it for them. And by for them, I mean for us. Here's my suggestion.
(1) Those who want washable versions of this skull-hunting nightmare cackling from under an ugly sweater this December, say so. I know you're out there. Fear the sword, not the haters.
(2) Those with connections to the Wolves who can get a decent photo of this masterpiece, make it happen.
(3) I edit the image and place the appropriate order to a temporary tattoo maker and mail them out. Folks chip in. We take pictures and make headlines. It's cheap, like a few bucks or something. Depends on the numbers.
(4) Pek's cult status blossoms. His value sky-rockets. His performance increases with the boost in confidence. Darko orders 82 for next season. Wes tries it once and finally develops the killer attitude that seems to be the only missing piece. Bill Simmons lives in perpetual fear of the cold edge of a broadsword courtesy of one Mr. David Kahn.
(5) We all get holiday respect, as well as action from the finest that Minnesota dive bars have to offer.
Let's get to work!