Kevin Love Nicknames - rerererevisited

I showed up a little late to the party for this, so I thought I would make a fan post to revisit the idea. I recently suggested that good nicknames have all but died out recently. No longer do we have The Iceman, Wilt the Stilt, the Big O, Larry Legend, His Airness et al, the Round Mound of Rebound, The Truth, The Answer, The Matrix, etc etc. Where have these gone? Now it's all some combination of a players initials and the number of women he sleeps with in a given week his number. This same thing has happened to clever catch phrases as well (why can't anyone yell "As seen on TV!" when someone make a nice play), but that's a different conversation altogether.

Kryptonate is currently the best thing we've got, and that was more of a joke than a nickname. So revisiting Kevin Love, we need to find him something good.  No votes, when we've got it we'll know. Any other ideas for our core players that we think will be here when we are relevant again would be cool too. Don't forget Rubio, Evan Turner (fingers crossed), and Darko.

My ideas so far:

The Big Ex-Twitter. Shaq is currently fighting for Superman, so it would hurt his case if he went after the Big Twitter as well. And then we could get Love back online and drop the "ex." Or if we're really just looking to piss Shaq off, we could go with The Love Shaq
I think the TWolves organization tried to pitch Windex last year, but that probably has copyright infringements all over it. Some more ideas that will lead to lawsuits... I think I've also heard Hoover suggested before. Closely related to that, The Shop Vac (even more powerful than the Hoover!). The Quicker Picker Upper (Quilted Northern....Northern... hey we're in the North!). Boardopoly (because he has a monopoly on rebounds, and more so because why not?). The Snuggie (ok there's absolutely no reason for this, it'd just be fun to call a professional basketball player The Snuggie (so nice it's highlighted twice!))

The [Minnesota] Boarder Patrol (not a very good nickname, but still a fun idea)

Any variations of the Round Mound of Rebound?
The Bad Ass of the Glass? Think announcers could say that?
The Crass Mass of the Glass? That might have nothing to do with rebounding... not really sure...

My favorite of the variations: Lord of the Board (I find it hard to believe that this has not been used before?)

The sad but true category: Rererererebounding (damnit...)

Runner up: McRebounds (the obvious insinuation about his weight, and just imagine the commercial revenue! McDonald's Center here we come! Before it's suggested, no thanks on McLovin)

My personal favorite:
The Big Recycle (again, some interesting commercials...)

I found it hard to move away from rebounding as that is the characteristic in which he will make a name for himself. These were really bad, sorry... hope I didn't waste too much of your time. It was fun though, give it a shot!