Game wrapping the classics

by Stop-n-Pop on Apr 11, 2010 10:07 PM CDT

There are a few dishes that every good cook should know how to prepare. Pasta Bolognese is one of them. This is a fantastic meal to prepare over the course of a lazy Sunday with friends and family. Here is what you will need:

3 bottles of a dry white wine.
A bottle of gin
1 big carrot
1 big stalk of celery
1 medium onion (I use yellow)
1/4 tsp nutmeg (I prefer freshly grounded)
1 cup whole milk
28 oz can whole tomatoes (I really like Muir Glen organic tomatoes)
1 lbs ground beef (I prefer grass-fed beef from this place)
Your choice of pasta (it goes best with tagliatelle)
4 T butter

The first thing you will need to do when making bolognese is pour yourself a glass of wine at 10 in the morning. A big glass. Next, you need to finely dice the carrot, celery, and onion, taking care to sip your wine in between as many cuts as possible.

When your veggies are diced, place the butter and onion inside of a dutch oven and turn up the heat to medium. Do not pre-heat your dutch oven. You do not want to burn your veggies. Once the butter melts, the onion should take about 3-5 minutes to cook through. Do not let it burn. Once the onion is cooked, add the carrot and celery and cook for an additional 3-5 minutes, stirring as necessary.

Your next step is to check your wine glass and make sure that it is full. Check your cooking partner's glass to make sure that it is full as well. Offer up a fresh glass of wine to anyone who may be just getting out of bed in the house. Once you have made the wine rounds, move the veggies to the edge of the pot and place the ground beef in the center, salting and peppering as needed (I typically start with a 1/2 t of each).

Cook the beef until it loses its red color. You do not want to brown the beef or burn it. Once the beef is ready, add the whole milk to the pot. Allow the milk to boil off completely, taking care to gently stir all of the ingredients during the boiling-off process. Right before the milk completely boils away, add the nutmeg and stir.

When the milk is completely boiled away, add 1 cup of white wine to the pot. Take a moment to celebrate and pour yourself another glass, as the rest is all yours.

When the wine is 1/2 boiled away, add a splash of gin to the pot. Take a moment to celebrate and pour yourself some gin, as it too is all yours.

By now you should be mildly buzzed at 10:30. Relax, this is where the fun begins. When the wine/gin has completely boiled away, open up your can of tomatoes, take a pair of kitchen shears and cut up the tomatoes as best you can before pouring the contents (juice included) into the pot. Turn down the heat to its lowest setting, pour yourself another drink, and go impress your significant other with stories about how much you care about him/her because of your early-morning cooking session/excuse-to-drink-very-early-in-the-day. Your only bolognese-related duty from here on out is to check the sauce every 30-45 minutes to ensure it is a) not boiling and b) that it has enough moisture to properly cook. Slow and low is the tempo with this dish and you are looking at 4-7 hours of cooking. In order to keep the dish moist (and to keep your drunken ass laughing at the word "moist") you will need to add 1/2-1 cup water every now and then to keep everything submerged. However, when you are about an hour out from eating, you will need to boil the water away...so write that one down so you won't forget when you (and your guests/family members) are finishing off the remaining 2 1/2 bottles of wine and gin.

Now comes the best part of cooking an all-day meal: You can leisurely spend the rest of the day doing one or more of the following activities:

Menial housework
Small house repairs (Nothing fancy; remember, you should not be operating any heavy machinery or getting up on the roof.)
Making home-made cheese to enjoy with your meal.
Play cards
Lawn bowl
Play basketball
Cat nap

You can figure out some interesting things to do on your own, but remember: check the sauce every 30-45 minutes so that you a) can take a few minutes in the kitchen to refresh your drink(s), b) make it look like you are slaving over a hot stove, and c) to refresh your drink(s).

When you are getting ready to eat, and after you have added your last dose of water to the pot, you should boil a large pot of water for your noodles. You should also prepare some veggies to go with your dish. I like to serve sautéed asparagus with this particular meal but any green veggie will do the trick. However, if you are going to be drinking, you can't go wrong with asparagus because who here amongst us does not like to giggle at funny-smelling pee?

Serve the sauce over a heaping dose of noodles and enjoy with wine and gin.

Well folks, that about does it for this game wrap.

Until later and don't forget to check out the NOLA perspective on the game over here: At The Hive

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Comments

Boy that sounds good

I’ve enjoyed these recipes this year. It reminds me of the “Livin’ Large” series over at basketbawful during the summer. Something interesting to distract you from the mind-numbing nature of the basketball (or lack thereof) at hand.

I’d love to see more American or European dishes during the last few games and any stinkers next year. Of course, if Kahn gets his way next year’s team will be 99% new and won’t turn in any stinkers. But you could keep the recipe ideas in your back pocket “just in case.”

"It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future." -- Yogi Berra

by Wile E Coyote on Apr 11, 2010 10:20 PM CDT reply actions

I have a feeling...

…that tonight’s game against a Spurs team that still has something to play for could get ugly. I was thinking Tex Mex or a recap of my Jucy Lucy post in the comments of a recent post. I love me some Tex Mex.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Apr 12, 2010 6:45 AM CDT up reply actions

Jucy Lucy update

I tried it again but the burger started to split apart at the seem. How do I stop that?

by Blakeley on Apr 12, 2010 6:47 AM CDT up reply actions

There's no..

….trick other than to fiddle with how much cheese you have, where you put it, and how well you seal the burger with your fingers. There are a few good videos on YouTube where you can see someone put one together. Man v. Food went to Matt’s Bar last season and they showed a guy putting one together. Ditto with the 5&8.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Apr 12, 2010 6:49 AM CDT up reply actions

Here's a trick I use

Push down the center of each pattie, this makes the center thinner (space for the cheese), while leaving it thicker on the edges, giving more beef to press together.

by Rumblebee on Apr 12, 2010 1:45 PM CDT up reply actions

PS:

I wasn’t able to watch. WTF happened?! Looks from the box score like noone could make a shot, collect a rebound, or play any D.

Especially Big Al … 1-6, 3 REB, 3 TOs. Is he trying to lower his trade value to ensure he stays?

"It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future." -- Yogi Berra

by Wile E Coyote on Apr 11, 2010 10:21 PM CDT reply actions

I'm probably one of the few who dislike to see these type of game wraps...

…but I get why you post them. Hopefully next season there won’t be any reason to post cooking recipes as the awful losses will be few and far between so an actual game wrap on what went terribly wrong won’t be monotonous.

Check out my NBA Draft blog:
http://casperkid23.blogspot.com/

by Casperkid23 on Apr 11, 2010 10:42 PM CDT reply actions

I'm hoping for that...

…as well.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Apr 12, 2010 6:46 AM CDT up reply actions

You might want to re-use a Korean game wrap from earlier this season

Based on the effort the several of the Wolves are putting in, it would be about as hard as you need to try. Nice job by Big Al not taking one step to try to disrupt the baseline drive by Collison. Got me to turn the game off. It was kind of humorous though, he was yelling at someone on the Wolves for not helping, and the other guy didn’t seem to care (I think it was Flynn or Sessions, but the I wasn’t sure who he was yelling at on the way to the timeout).

by Rumblebee on Apr 11, 2010 11:36 PM CDT reply actions

That may have been...

..the worst game in Al’s career. He does have some personal stuff going on, however.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Apr 12, 2010 6:46 AM CDT up reply actions

I hate giving up at the end of seasons

but considering the year he has had, maybe they should just shut him down. Last thing they need is for him to get injured and ruin any chance of trading him this summer.

by Rumblebee on Apr 12, 2010 1:47 PM CDT up reply actions

Hilarious game wrap

The repeated drink steps cracked me up, man. I’m stealing this bit.

Anybody watch the Lakers game today? Kobe and Fisher miss three straight free throws in the final seconds, then combine to each stupidly foul Webster (I think it was Webster) for three free throws to ice it. Fascinating to see the Lakers blow it so stupidly.

by princelyfrank on Apr 11, 2010 11:47 PM CDT reply actions

I did see that,

Also noticed how Webster and Miller made two really stupid fouls to put the Lakers into position to win that game. The first Webster intentionally fouled Kobe and then Miler barrel charged Fisher on his pump fake. Not the best defense I’ve ever seen to end a game but it did make it fun to watch.

by waldo11teen on Apr 12, 2010 12:16 AM CDT up reply actions

Looks luscious

Too bad I don’t have a dutch oven. Guess I’ll have to eat raw pasta and wash it down with 3 bottles of wine and some gin. “dangit…. *gulp*gulp”

BetterLaettner

by BetterLaettnerThanRider on Apr 12, 2010 12:59 AM CDT reply actions

Great wrap, with a lil lagniappe

Being a Wolves fan is indeed enough to drive one to drink. Cheers.

"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have." Steven Wright

by uncle rico on Apr 12, 2010 2:15 AM CDT reply actions

lol!

Sounds great – but can you substitute vodka for the gin???

Have to agree with Casper – it will be nice when we no longer need these types of game wraps. Of course, we will then need to find a way to get you on Food Network to bring these gastronomic delights to the masses!

by SoDakHmr on Apr 12, 2010 2:22 AM CDT reply actions

I don't know...

…about the vodka but it could never hurt to try.

Forever splitting the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs
www.canishoopus.com

by Stop-n-Pop on Apr 12, 2010 6:47 AM CDT up reply actions

Try using the vodka

then get back to us and let us know :)

Will the Real Thor Please Stand Up ... ?

by the Real Thor on Apr 12, 2010 7:46 AM CDT up reply actions

stay that should exist:

Has a team ever had worse than 18 points, 6 rebounds, and 3 assists as its team highs for the game? Honestly, our total of 27 for all three categories could be approaching the lowest for any game in league history.

by John Doe on Apr 12, 2010 3:18 AM CDT via mobile reply actions

*stat

stupid ipod keyboard…

by John Doe on Apr 12, 2010 3:19 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions

Quick search through this season:

Lakers had 15-7-3 on March 26th in a 91-75 loss to the Thunder. I ended my search there, but yeah, Timberwolves > Lakers.

Check out my NBA Draft blog:
http://casperkid23.blogspot.com/

by Casperkid23 on Apr 12, 2010 8:23 AM CDT up reply actions

Good thing the MotoGP season finally started so I have something else to watch … sigh … so… when’s the lottery? :/

Official Kahn/Rambis band-wagon rider since 2009

by Wim (Belgium) on Apr 12, 2010 3:48 AM CDT reply actions

Guessing Game

What do Houston, OKC, Dallas, Denver, Cleveland, and Boston all have in common? Can you guess? Well there were three possible answers…

1. They annually field competitive teams (or in OKC’s case…they will do this for the foreseeable future)
2. They involve advanced statistics in their basketball decision making process.
3. They are licking their lips just WAITING for Kevin Love to become available this summer.

I’m so ready to be done with the Wolves.

by Blakeley on Apr 12, 2010 5:18 AM CDT reply actions

I know people say this stuff all the time....

but, I have already been acquainting myself with the Rockets in case Love gets traded this summer. I think that will be the last straw for me. It is very hard to root for a team that willfully ignores stats just because it is my home of origin, when there are organizations out there that I am much more ideologically in line with.

by vjl110 on Apr 12, 2010 7:25 AM CDT up reply actions

LOL

I’ve been doing the same thing actually. I used to say the Thunder, but now the bandwagon is too full. So Rockets are my next team as well. It just feels like the Wolves are using an abacus while other teams in the league have a TI-83plus.

by Blakeley on Apr 12, 2010 7:32 AM CDT up reply actions

I know

Well, as much as I think the Rockets like K. Love, I’m not sure they need him because they have Scola and Ming, so he’d still be a 6th man splitting minutes.

In Cleveland they have Jamison, Hickson, and Sideshow Bob.

Issues with other teams as well. I think Denver and OKC are the places were Love can start. But he would be devastating (yes, I intentionally use this word) for Boston or Dallas off the bench. KG would love Kevin Love.

Maybe the Wolves will trade Love for Big Baby. If that happens I am so done with this franchise. But it won’t happen…will it?

by littleboxes on Apr 12, 2010 10:42 AM CDT up reply actions

I really don't think Love is the kinda guy KG wants to play with

could be wrong, but there is a bit of a track record.

by Rumblebee on Apr 12, 2010 1:50 PM CDT up reply actions

Darko's defense

Darko just got lit up last night by Okafor, West, and Songalia. Thank God he’s 7’0" though. If he was 6’11 or even 6’10 I can’t imagine how bad it would have been…that is me being sarcastic.

by Blakeley on Apr 12, 2010 6:48 AM CDT reply actions

I only watched the first third of the game, but

During that time, the defensive problem wasn’t especially Darko. He was indeed providing some defensive presence. He had as thorough a block of Collison as can be imagined, he went for a steal once when he shouldn’t have but did come away with a couple of loose balls on other possessions, and so on…. It wasn’t a great defensive performance, but it wasn’t his worst, not in the time I watched.

The problem was Jefferson. Al Jefferson continues to put out some of the absolute worst defensive performances I’ve ever seen from a big. He got eaten alive by Okafor early on. The Wolves would make a couple of decent defensive rotations outside only to have Jefferson three steps behind the play when it eventually went inside. My stars, the guy is just atrocious right now defensively. He’s abysmal.

And for those who’re making the comparison, I didn’t think Love was near as bad, not last night. There are times when he’s chasing a Bosh around when Love seems like a rotten matchup for anyone, and West has sometimes been that sort of problem case for him. Last night when Jefferson came out and Love went in, the results were noticeably better for Minnesota. Okafor had posted up on the right side against Al, and the result was a basket and a free throw. Love held Emeka off in the same spot, and the result was…. Well, it was a defensive 3-second violation, but not against Love. Then Rambis went back to Jefferson and Love together to close out the first, and it got ugly, ugly, ugly again.

Aside from being able to pull down an occasional defensive board, Al Jefferson is a colossal negative in every aspect of defensive play right now. It ain’t Darko.

"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."

by feral on Apr 12, 2010 7:26 AM CDT up reply actions

Agree that Al was worse then Darko...

But I still thought Darko was pretty bad. Here’s a very basic comparison of our big “rotation”…

Darko: 25 mins, 6pts, 5 rebs, 1 blk

AL: 30 mins, 5pts, 3 rebs, 1blk

Love: 19 mins, 9pts, 6 rebs

Rambis likes to say that he’s “been pretty consistent” whit the players…Well what’s consistent about that?

by Blakeley on Apr 12, 2010 7:46 AM CDT up reply actions

Rambis rules

He’s consistent, he plays a big until that big reaches at least

A) 30 minutes of playing time

B) double digits combined in points and rebounds.

Once either of those occurs, the big is yanked from the game.
These are simple and consistent rules, Blakeley.
Did you go to public school?

by littleboxes on Apr 12, 2010 10:46 AM CDT up reply actions

Disgraceful

Just a disgraceful loss. 15-67, here we come.

I haven't enjoyed the Wolves this much since Jimmy Rodgers was the coach.

by SBG on Apr 12, 2010 8:23 AM CDT reply actions

is that Charlie Watts?

If not, it should be.

If so, the Wolves should pay him an absurd amount of money to perform drum solos during halftime of every home game. Attendance would skyrocket even after the first several years of “maybe Jagger will show up” falls by the way side. Charlie’s getting old, he needs a good stable gig. Shit, move the team to London. The London Watts.

by littleboxes on Apr 12, 2010 10:48 AM CDT up reply actions

It is indeed Mr. Watts

And a fine picture of him.

I haven't enjoyed the Wolves this much since Jimmy Rodgers was the coach.

by SBG on Apr 12, 2010 11:17 AM CDT reply actions

Anyone else listen to the radio pregame about Flynn and Sessions?

During the pregame show, Rambis and Flynn were asked separately about whether the end of the Laker game might have been an ideal spot to try playing Sessions alongside Flynn.

Rambis flat out said that No, he hadn’t thought about it at the time and he didn’t think it’d work. He said they were both point guards in his mind (Hello, Ricky Rubio?). He said they were too short for matchups on both end of the court.

Flynn, on the other end, said that yeah he’d been disappointed not to play at all in the 4th against the Lakers. He sure seemed to think they could play alongside each other.

"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."

by feral on Apr 12, 2010 11:55 AM CDT reply actions

Interesting

Well, Flynn kinda seems like the kind of guy that thinks anything is possible. He shows this all the time on the court where he tries to make plays that simply don’t exist. And Rambis is the exact opposite, clinging ever so tightly to his triangle and positional dogmas. Heaven forbid we field a 6"3 2-guard for stetches! That’s just too short to guard someone like Shannon Brown! Give me a break.

by Rascal Flatts on Apr 12, 2010 12:36 PM CDT up reply actions

(Flynn specifically mentioned Shannon Brown, actually)

"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."

by feral on Apr 12, 2010 3:59 PM CDT up reply actions

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