Dear Mr. Kahn,
David, we want to believe in you as the Wolves POBO, and although some of us are unimpressed with your accomplishments so far, we all agree that we would like to see you succeed (except Blakeley--he does not want to see you succeed). Based in part on your repeated assertions, we believe these next few weeks are crucial to the future of the team, and ergo ipso facto, your job security.
We also humbly believe that as a group, we collectively know at least as much as you do about what this team needs you to do, and not do during these coming anxiety-filled days. Thefore, we've created a handy list that one of your dwindling minions can print out and tape on the back of the three-ring binder you've labled "Draft Day/Free Agency/Trades 2010."
1. Do not trade up in the draft to pick anyone other than Evan Turner or John Wall.
2. Do not sell first round picks for cash.
3. Do not trade for Hedo Turkeyglue, no matter what else is included in the package.
4. Do solicit offers for all players and assets (including Ricky Rubio)
5. Do not accept any offer for these players and assets unless you are sure you are getting the best player back in the trade
6. Do try to trade Al Jefferson, but do not give him away for cap room unless you have a better more expensive replacement ready to go.
7. Do listen to the stat heads in your scouting department when they talk about things like "eFG%".
8. Do not be afraid of picking DeMarcus Cousins based on his "immaturity."
9. Do not be afraid of picking Wes Johnson just because he is a nice guy from Syracuse.
10. Do not pick Wes Johnson just because he is a nice guy from Syracuse.
11. Do contact the agents of the "Big Three" and tell them you are interested in talking with them about playing for the Timberwolves.
12. Do not feel bad or hang up when they laugh, or ask, "How cold is it there right now?"
13. Do listen to Tony Ronzone--we like him.
14. Do know that this may be your last chance to make a Big Move to impress Mr. Taylor, the fans, and Ricky Rubio.
15. Do not win a bidding war for Rudy Gay (courtesy of eastbayfunk).