So I am officially boycotting ESPN this Thursday at 8PM because an unnamed narcissist will be exploiting his signing at said time. If anyone would like to join me, I will be offering a list of things to do that would be better than wasting an hour watching this unfold in a slow, miserable fashion. I'm guessing it will be a lot like watching a telethon or the last 5 minutes of a really boring Survivor (The Free Agent King has spoken. Please move on to the second tier).

So a list of things that you can do if you decide to join me in my boycotting of ESPN at said time:

1. Watch ESPN2 or at least turn it on so whatever the second best option is can get better ratings.
2. The World Cup. Watch or bone up on your knowledge.
3. The Lizzie McGuire Movie will be playing on the Disney Channel. Tyler Perry most likely also has a bad show or two on at that time.
4. Put on a blindfold and some earplugs for an hour.
5. Start up NBA2K10 and force a trade of Lebron to Memphis.
6. Pour water into a glass and watch it evaporate.
7. Go sit on your lawn and watch the grass, record your measurements and chart its growth at a later time (Or... watch the sunset/stars for some relaxing alone time or special person time).
8. Write an essay about megalomania. Post on CH for shiggles (guess which two words I just combined).
9. There are also probably some good shows on TV if this is your chosen outlet. I'd recommend How I Met Your Mother. It's a great show and it's on then, true story. Also, for those of you more into Sci Fi stuff, my weekly nerdgasm used to be Legend of the Seeker (Based on the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind). I'd high recommend this as well if you're into that stuff (Bonus: Lead actress is smokin).
10. Play a game with someone special. With your kids if you've got them. Also, instill morals into your kids so they know that what Lebron is doing is stupid. Also, tell them Santa likes Timberwolves fans (This strategy can be used on kids of any age- results may vary).
11. Read a Book
12. Sign on to CH and do your thing
13. Go out to a nonsports bar with some friends who don't care about Lebron. People who do care enough about Lebron are not your friends.
14. Rent a movie or go see one in theaters. Toy Story was good and I'd rather see Eclipse than Lebron waste an hour of my life.
15. Do that thing you've been putting off. For those of you with wives, I'm sure you have a list of things you didn't even know you've been putting off. Even better, do something for her (or him if you happen to be the wife) that's not on the list and it'll buy you some time before the list is mentioned again AND some extra brownie points.
16. The Twins will be playing Toronto on FSN. Maybe we'll be hearing all about new rental Twin, Cliff Lee by then?
17. The Lynx will also be playing
18. Go play a sport of your choosing.
19. Hit up First Ave and see what's good.
20. Go to sleep. It's good for you.
21. Try that new exercise. Or try something new and exercise.
22. Hey, if this is your thing (Ok I really just wanted to link to the site for the above point and I found this link and laughed. Seriously though, they have lots of great exercise ideas on there, even if they sometimes don't give the greatest advice on how to do each exercise. Also, they have quite a few other interesting articles like the one I linked to!).
23. Exercise your brain with a crossword puzzle or sudoku... or the other alternatives that your choice of newspaper might provide.
24. Learn something new.
25. Update your resume and apply to a better job.
26. Come up with more ideas of things to do for the next time something like this happens.

Anywhom, I'm tired and heading to bed now. I'm sure there are some more things to do, so go ahead and list a few things that you would rather be doing (or things that people actually would do) to avoid Lebron's Special Hour of Suckitude. I'll leave you with some closing thoughts, via picture and video message:

via slanchreport.files.wordpress.com

That's great and all, Nike. But I will most certainly not be a witness.

To sum up my thoughts on the matter:

The Office- Michael Scott No God No (via ragnorak7)