The Corey Brewer drinking game needs a replacement. (With poll)
by feral on Dec 20, 2011 10:49 AM CST
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PrintTwo years ago I played my very own Corey Brewer drinking game. Not that I drank drank, most of the time. That might have gotten out of hand, given my rules, which went roughly like:
Whenever Corey Brewer exhibits the wildly inconsistent play that makes him so special, drink!
(If he does something extremely extra-special, attempt to throw the drink down in such haste that you spill on yourself instead.)
Imbibing every time Corey tried a layup off the wrong foot, or stole the ball and then promptly turned it over in his excitement, could have challenged the staunchest liver. Throughout the season, I did things like eat an M&M, or sip Holly Nog, or break a walnut, to mark the "drink!" moments. The point was the moment of recognition.
Corey and his goat are being fitted for rings just now – presumably the goat's will be a nose ring? do you do that for goats? – so I'm fishing around for new ritual games to play while watching a Wolves game.
Won't you help me choose?
A couple of these seem like runaway winners to me. What am I missing?
Possible Game #1: When Rick Adelman recognizes the obvious, drink!
This one would need to play as a contrast with certain past head coaches. When Adelman goes to two point guards alongside each other because they're the best backcourt options he's got, sip your mulled cider. When Wesley Matthews is coming open outside and Adelman calls a timeout to staunch the defensive bleeding, toss a quarter-cup of blueberries into that smoothie and blend.
As with the Brewer game, this is pretty danged subjective. Certain obvious things can be recognized and dealt with in a number of different, sometimes odd, ways.
That's a good thing. If you really were to throw back a shot every time Rick Adelman's coaching acumen surpassed that of Kurt Rambis.... As Ailuridae said elsewhere, he might actually die.
Possible Game #2: When Ricky Rubio puts a bit of Catalans on the ball, drink!
More concrete, still open to some interpretation, and by gum this seems like fun. When young Ricky Blonde turns his hand into a cobra to misdirect the defense, quaff your Surly.
Possible Game #3: When Derrick Williams looks like he was worth it, drink!
Depending on what you think of #7, this could skew too far in either direction. Maybe it should be something concrete, like dunks or threes made?
Possible Game #4: when Ricky makes a great pass that isn't an assist but that clearly leads to a basket, drink!
Thus we celebrate the pass that leads to a pass that leads to a basket.
Possible Game #5: When Kevin Love records more than one offensive board on a single possession, drink!
Possible Game #6: K-Love has his 10th board. Drink!
Once a game, but really isn't that fine for most of us? If it really was an actual drinking game, this is the one I'd do.
Possible Game #7: When Luke Ridnour launches a three he shouldn't have taken but it goes in, drink!
More of a wry thing as with Brewer, but dang if many of Luke's makes don't have me incredulous as they leave his hand. What are you doing so early in the sh-.... Oh yeah, Ridnour!
Possible Game #8: When JJ Barea's heart is bigger than his chest, drink!
Surely there are many other possibilities, though. "Micheal Beasley's a new man, eat a Skittle?" But wait, that's Derrick Rose!
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I'm going to cast vote #1 for passes that lead to passes that lead to baskets.
It’s not as knock-me-out fun as the simple “cool pass,” but it’ll reward close attention.
"Opinion ...a confession."
Pass till you pass out?
"Humor is reason gone mad." Marx (Groucho, for the reason-gone-mad impaired)
by uncle rico on Dec 20, 2011 5:33 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I voted for pass-that-leads-to-an-assist
But I also liked the Luke Ridnour ill-advised-but-made 3pfg.
I'm gonna drink on every KLove rebound...
Why do a drinking game if it isn’t going to make you drunk?
by Timberwolf i.e. Albatross on Dec 20, 2011 12:12 PM CST reply actions
better home the dude doesn't get 30 rebounds again
Too hot to handle, too cold to hold
They're called the Ghostbusters and they're in control
It almost seems like we should have something new for Love this year.
Rebounds? That’s last year’s news. This year it’s full-court makes. He’ll be dropping four a night.
"Opinion ...a confession."
How about...
Drink everytime there is a successful two line pass. The ball has to clear the center stripe as well as one of the free throw lines. Between Love and Rubio, this could happen just often enough to be interesting.
by stuntmonkeys on Dec 20, 2011 7:22 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Heeeey!
So we have two hockey passing concepts proposed, here: The assist-to-an-assist, and the two-line pass.
What sort of hockey ritual might one perform? I’m opposed to killing cephalopods on moral grounds.
"Opinion ...a confession."
I'm thinking this is my personal combo-winner so far:
Indirect assists (as judged by me)
and/or
two-line passes.
You have to work a little, but they’re cool, and they reflect where I want the team to go.
(It’s a little sad that none of us thought of defense. “Stops” remains just an isolated word on Kurt Rambis’s white board.)
"Opinion ...a confession."
I voted for number 8,
because that means I can drink all the time.
(Also: I was about to give you a hard time for using “staunch” instead of “stanch,” but then I read this. I am chagrined.)
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
Huh. What source did I see the (presumably Anglicized?) version in, in my youth?
Don’t let it faze you, either way. (There. Happy now?)
There has to be some sort of concrete event to hang one’s drink on.
"Opinion ...a confession."
Love #5
There’s no diminishing returns in Offensive Rebounding, let’s celebrate greatness with a drink.
Derrick Williams was going to Bust...but then he was selected by the Timberwolves!
It's tangible, it's clear, and you'd be able to drink often enough to feel grateful. Hard to argue.
"Opinion ...a confession."
I chose number 2 because i have a drinking problem.
kidding. About the problem, not about the choice.
(upside down exclamation point)Viva Espana!
Yeah, how do people do that?
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 20, 2011 4:10 PM CST up reply actions
¡Viva España!
On a Mac, hold down option/alt key and then press the exclamation point. Not sure about a PC.
I just find one somewhere else on the internet
And copy it.
Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
did we miss the obvious, subjective though it may be?
Ricky makes a “fancy pass”
by dontbesomean youngfella on Dec 20, 2011 4:06 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
(I meant that to be conveyed by the "Puts some Catalans on the ball" option.)
"Opinion ...a confession."
my bad
based on the photo and, I guess, your use of the word “gum,” I thought this had to do with him kissing the ball. I thought “Putting the Catalans on [xxx]” was the new term for a kiss by a Spaniard everyone was aware of but me.
by dontbesomean youngfella on Dec 21, 2011 12:03 AM CST up reply actions
with you
Still have my Foye jersey. Hey- at least she TRIED! :--)
by LoveLovesLove on Dec 22, 2011 12:39 PM CST up reply actions
I suggest...
…Ricky makes a:
- fancy pass
- fancy dribble
- fancy shot attempt
- fancy free throw attempt
- fancy steal
- fancy timeout
- fancy hair toss
- fancy smile/sneer/grimace
- fancy injury
- fancy backdoor cut
- fancy frontdoor cut
- fancy step, two-step or three-step
- fancy touchdown celebration
- fancy twitter post
- fancy facebook update
- fancy beard
- fancy clean shaven
- fancy turnover
- fancy benching for screwing up, missing a shot, taking a shot, not taking a shot, or other.
so basically
anytime ricky checks into the game, or is on TV or the media (incl. Facecrack) for any reason we should all drink til we puke?
I’m in.
Rubio + DWilliams + Adelman = suck it Clippergeddon
I'm thinking
you fancy him.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 20, 2011 7:28 PM CST up reply actions
It obeys the rules my former coworker had for computers.
“When something’s wrong, it’s a he. When it’s working, she’s my friend.”
"Opinion ...a confession."
My Spanish professor always called her computer
“El computador” (Masculine) when it wasn’t working and “La computadora” (Feminine) when it did.
Pretty sure men say it the opposite way.
Doh!
There’s my vote.
Still have my Foye jersey. Hey- at least she TRIED! :--)
by LoveLovesLove on Dec 22, 2011 12:40 PM CST up reply actions
I'd vote for
Ricky does something totally adorable.
Don't let my female relatives have the final say, there.
One of them walked into the room and out of nowhere immediately said “I like that player” to a close-up of Rubio the other day. Had no idea who he was. On first glance.
"Opinion ...a confession."
If you want to get hammered
Then drink every time an announcer says “Ricky Rubio” by his full name when Rubio would have done fine. It’s just so much fun to say!
Note: Pre-game announcements don’t count.
Bonus drink
for every time an American announcer rolls his Rs when announcing Ricky’s full name.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 20, 2011 4:25 PM CST up reply actions
I think
everyone drinks in response to those anyway.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 20, 2011 5:58 PM CST up reply actions
Drink is both the origin and the result of Hannie's verbal stylings, then.
"Opinion ...a confession."
He's probably got about 75 locked and load right now
I’m guessing he had a productive lockout.
Oooh, this opens a whole set of things I hadn't considered.
Announcer mannerisms. That could get out of hand.
"Opinion ...a confession."
If Wizards fans
drank every time Flip Saunders tugged at his tie, they’d all need liver transplants by the all-star game.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 20, 2011 7:10 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
That drove me nuts, too.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 21, 2011 12:12 PM CST up reply actions
ha! thirded.
Still have my Foye jersey. Hey- at least she TRIED! :--)
by LoveLovesLove on Dec 22, 2011 12:42 PM CST up reply actions
I'm going to need a lookup table for all these drinking conditions
I think I’m just going to get an I.V. That way, I can get bombed and still enjoy the game without having to figure out when to drink, when to slam…and how much I’m behind.
Rubio + DWilliams + Adelman = suck it Clippergeddon
how about when an announcer
uses a two word phrase or conjunction unnecessarily in any context. Bonus sips for each additional word they tag on (e.g. “…the game of basketball…”)
by dontbesomean youngfella on Dec 21, 2011 12:05 AM CST up reply actions
Those are awesome.
“He just made a great basketball play.”
Good deal I was hoping he didn’t just make a great jai alai play.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 21, 2011 12:11 AM CST up reply actions
Ah memories of Double T
Although J Pete is pretty good, I will always miss Trent Tucker.
He's Ricky Rubio. He’s not like anyone else.
"he is a young man...
who understands the fundamentals of the game of basketball for this Minnesota Timberwolves team"
by dontbesomean youngfella on Dec 21, 2011 12:37 PM CST up reply actions
TTucker is the John Madden
of stating the obvious with extra obvious clarifications.
Still have my Foye jersey. Hey- at least she TRIED! :--)
by LoveLovesLove on Dec 22, 2011 12:44 PM CST up reply actions
Shouldn't you pick something thats on the negative side?
that way instead of getting upset with the team, you have a drink instead?
1. Whenever beasely tries to score on his own and misses instead of play within the offense. DRINK!
2. Whenever Darko tries to make a real basketball play and messes it up. DRINK!!
3. Whenever Pek gets put into the game. CHUG!!!!!!!!
You take that back about Pek!
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 20, 2011 5:01 PM CST up reply actions
Every Pek foul would be fun. Especially if you have to drink twice when he fouls within a minute of entering the game.
heart of a champion, will of the warrior.
by cap'n hack on Dec 20, 2011 5:04 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Or twice for every foul made within a minute of the last foul!
Still have my Foye jersey. Hey- at least she TRIED! :--)
by LoveLovesLove on Dec 22, 2011 12:45 PM CST up reply actions
Last year the lefty-hook drink could have driven me to cirrhosis, for sure.
"Opinion ...a confession."
My favorite move of the season, though... was a DARKO move.
Spinning, behind the back, through the legs, over the top score (don’t recall if a dunk or not, but it was exceptional PG play from our 7-footer).
Still have my Foye jersey. Hey- at least she TRIED! :--)
by LoveLovesLove on Dec 22, 2011 12:47 PM CST up reply actions
It may be that each year's negatives are a mystery to start with.
Last year should surely have been Jonny Flynn’s in this sense.
“Every time Jonny gets caught in the air without knowing what to do, drink. Every time he does something that’s an unclear intermediate between shooting and passing, pour the drink directly into your seat cushion.”
For some negatives there are nice emotional tie-ins. Micheal Beasley coughs the ball up on a cavalier pass? Why, simply toss back your drink with a certain debonair nonchalance.
"Opinion ...a confession."
by feral on Dec 20, 2011 6:41 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
LOL
Still have my Foye jersey. Hey- at least she TRIED! :--)
by LoveLovesLove on Dec 22, 2011 12:48 PM CST up reply actions
None of the Above
I think we should just take a drink every 100 comments in the game thread. Ten drinks for an exhibition game? Works for me.
"He was born pissed." - Poor Dick
Feedback, Canis Hoopus style?
Scary precedent. We could all wind up drinking in an endless loop at some point.
"Opinion ...a confession."
I've posited that a similar thing could happen for potheads
Eating mac and cheese with made with weed butter would give them the munchies, in which case “Hey, that mac and cheese looks amazing!”
Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
"Weed Butter"
will be the name of my next punk band.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Dec 20, 2011 9:56 PM CST up reply actions
It's called..
..cannabutter..
just sayin..
I'd think Weed Butter is ok as a synonym
Not having a lot of money, I’m forced to use Dank Margarine.
No problem
at some point you become too drunk to thumb a comment (that’s what you phone users do, right?).
Of course, there’s always the risk that the opposing team’s fans will spam us just to rob the Wolves of their most fanatical cheering section, but I’m willing to drink to that risk.
"He was born pissed." - Poor Dick
Oh, this is fun.
How about every time Malcolm Lee takes more than one dribble toward the basket? (Isn’t that something off-guards do?)
Malcolm Lee-related habits could be pretty refined early, if he's not getting much time.
You can sip the fine whatever-it-is thoughtfully, if your man’s only in for a minute-thirty every game.
There’s always the simple “Does he make the pine?” ritual for bench types. Once we know who’s in the doghouse, we drink if they wave a towel or something.
"Opinion ...a confession."
We could have the same conditions
for Mr. Wes Johnson. But I don’t want to stay sober that long.
Rubio + DWilliams + Adelman = suck it Clippergeddon
Ricky making a "crazy-good" pass, drink
Alley-oop, no-look, behind the back, that crazy one where he passed it while dribbling, and so on. No regular over the head entry passes or simple bounce passes, either.
The crazy ones will do the job…
I voted for option 2
Merely because I want to promote the usage of the word “Catalans” in regards to all things Rubio.
How about when Ricky dribbles between SOMEONE ESLE'S legs...?
Still have my Foye jersey. Hey- at least she TRIED! :--)
i think it should be passes that lead to wide open dunks/threes/etc
like the behind the back to tolliver at the top of the right wing
The realist keepin it real amongst the surrealists
I was in Baghdad before these little B.G.'s was in they daddy-bags.
by starbury_to_s-jaxci2000 on Dec 22, 2011 9:57 PM CST reply actions
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