Wake Me Up When It's Over

Please for my sake just give me a sedative and wake me up when this season is over (wake me up only if Rubio is finally here, otherwise just shoot me). I can't stand it anymore. I am tired of watching the same story repeat itself year after year. If you don't know the story by now let me tell you:


Step 1: Go into the draft with 2 or 3 first round draft picks but end up not getting one NBA caliber starter.

Step 2: Let Kahn tell us the latest player he drafted has a chance to transcend the Minnesota sports world while reminding us that he has lots of unused ammo so watch out for that "singular move"

Step 3: Get denied by ALL potential big name free agents other than those 3rd tier FA that can't believe how much money Kahn is willing to throw their way (aka Sessions and Ridnour)

Step 4: 2nd year player gets injured so they either don't come back at all the next season or have half of their quickness they had before.

Step 5: Start preseason basketball where we read about the newest addition to the Timberwolves and how they think this team can be a playoff contender or they wouldn't have signed here.

Step 6: Buy into the hype in the preseason that Darko IS the "manna from heaven" , Webster is the legitimate SG we needed all along, and our young PG's might start to understand the pro game.

Step 7: Attend home opener wearing your favorite Wolves gear, down a couple of beers, look at the cheerleaders and watch them win the first game. Which leaves you thinking "they will for sure be a 30 win team".

Step 8: Watch the Wolves blow leads to good teams and struggle playing D against bad teams

Step 9: Wolves go on a winning streak and you think, "This might be the tipping point, they are finally going to turn the corner".

Step 10: Proceed to lose next 9 out of 10 games pray for the All Start Break


Step 11: Watch as the NBA trade deadline passes and we don't make any moves even though we were told the Wolves would be able to take advantage of other teams because we have so many assets and we are so far under the cap.

Step 12: Win anywhere between 2 to 5 games to finish out season. Never turn on the game for more then 10 min because they are already down 20 points in the second quarter.

Step 13: Start blocking your Timberwolves Season Ticket Holder Representative because he keeps calling all the time wanting you to renew. He keeps telling you they are getting better and that they can get you tickets to the Justin Bieber concert if you just renew...PLEASE GOD RENEW!

Step 14: Pray the Lottery goes our way just once....PLEASE GOD JUST ONCE...It doesn't

Step 14: Look over draft websites to read about potential draft picks that might fall to the 4th or 5th slot.

Step 15: Fall in love with a potential player the Wolves must just have...tell your friends that Demarcus Cousins or Steph Curry is the player the Wolves should draft...also you have about 4 second round sleepers that the Wolves must take because you just know they are going to be awesome even if they can't shoot or dribble.

Step 16: Watch us draft 4 centers or 4 power forwards and be the laughing stalk of the NBA

Step 17: After the Draft, tell yourself Rubio might be coming so everything will be ok ...Realize he probably isn't and that this team is headed for another 15 win season.

Rinse and Repeat



PS: If any of you have any steps that I might have missed please let me know.

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