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Countdown from 11: Miami Heat

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PJD is a Minnesota Vikings blogger (poorly) at Purple Jesus Diaries who has made a terrible mistake by purchasing 11 tickets this spring to Minnesota Timberwolves games. These are his game recaps highlighting what may have been the worst mistake of his life, outside of cheering for Minnesota sports teams ...

Finally, the last game of the 11 was on the horizon. I was pretty excited to get it all over with, and I realized this is probably how most of the players on the team feel. Oh sure, Martell Webster and Anthony Tolliver can get interviewed after the game talking about how they still have a lot of pride to play for and things like that, but we all knew it was over once the double-double streak ended. There was, absolutely, nothing left to watch for this season. No player development, no streak continuation, and pride has long since left Target Center. I only plus was a night of drinking! HOORAY! Here's what I noticed from my final game this year at the Target Center:

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- Who wears an NBA jersey to a game without a shirt underneath it? Miami Heat fans do, that's who. And my god, were these people the largest group of trash bags I have ever seen. I'd rather catch a beer with a Celtics fan over any LBJ, Wade, or Heat fan any day of the week. It was a disaster.

- There were certainly boos from the crowd for anything the Heat players did, but I was honestly expecting a lot more. My guess is that even the crowd has loss the vitriol needed to be upset at opposing teams.

- There's no way we win another game this season, right? We looked at the schedule and couldn't come up with on.

- The free programs they hand out at every game had LBJ on this game's cover. Usually it's a Wolves player. I didn't grab one at the Celtics game, but this was the first time I've seen this occur. That's .... pretty telling.

- Speaking of programs, they list all the staff associated with the team on the inside of them. There is like a marketing or athletic trainer or something that honestly has the name (or close to) Zarko Similicic. It's like he's Darko's evil twin brother. My guess is he's the one that actually plays with a mean streak.

- We went to Solera before the game. I had forgotten they had switched ownership a little while back. It was still pretty typically, however. One outstanding drink I had that I would recommend was something that included Maker's Mark and Ginger Ale, except it was organic, purely made ginger drink with maybe a bit of carbonation. They serve it to you on a platter, seriously, with a glass full of ice, a small bottle of this ginger root drink, and a half glass of Maker's Mark for $8. The drink is like two in one though, portion wise, and it is pretty fantastic.

- The lady on the upper concourse in Target Center to the right off the escalators that always sells the mixed drinks as well finally recognized me when I went back to her. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

- The entertainment at this game was surprisingly some of the best yet. The sound system wasn't ear-bleeding loud, and they did lots of little things. They made some guy listen to Rebecca Black's "Friday" (Canis' favorite!) all game long for a Klondike Bar with a hulking security guard next to him. They had the little Crunch mascot sled down the stairs FINALLY, which I haven't seen all year. They had the Hoop Troop as well, who didn't miss a dunk. For an April Fool's joke they did a fake dance contest with blindfolded people, except there was only one contestant in a Heat jersey who danced like an idiot as the third contestant. During his dance time, everyone ran off the floor and he took his blindfold off to find he was the only person there. IDIOT! It was pretty classic. Finally, the halftime show included some jump roping crew from Chicago that was pretty impressive. They had what looked like a 10-year old that reminded me of Short Round from Indian Jones. Overall, pretty good.

- I also can't overstate how sick I am of LeBron James thinking he's "King." King of what, two MVP's? Fan adoration? That'd be sweet if you actually ever won anything. The Wolves PR team played off of this and had fans select a song for the 4th quarter t-shirt toss that included Metallica's "King Nothing" (which was awesomely played) and other songs based on "you've done absolutely nothing yet" type selections. The things that REALLY bothers me about LBJ, is that if every stadium Michael Jordan went to early in his career did that, he would get pissed (or maybe did) and rattle off 6 NBA titles. I don't think Bron cares enough, it doesn't upset him enough, and I don't know if he'll ever win. He's more interested in trying to be an icon and an entertainer than being the best basketball player, and that's a waste. He can go to hell.

- Rambis did play Love and Randolph together for a little bit. I didn't actually see if it produced any positive results, but it was kind of surprising to see it happen out on the floor.

- Seeing Tolliver and James collide on a potential alley-oop at the end of the 2nd quarter without a call (and Wes going down on the other end of the floor for an and-1) was a delight. James sat on the floor bitching and moaning for a call that was rightfully not given, and looked like a total punk. He got what he deserved ... a win against an easy team.

- Not necessarily anything to do with the game Friday night, but I watched a Kemba Walker interview Saturday morning and, am I stupid for really wanting him as a Wolf? He looks good, and has a smile nice enough to entice Kahn. Also, what're the odds this will be the first time ever a rookie WNBA and NBA player were taken by the same cities in the same year? Moore and Walker, (W)NBA titles on their way!

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And that does it for me. I was jokingly telling my brother we should check dynamic pricing on the final game of the season against the Houston Rockets (college night!) but then later told him that, no matter what I say at a later date, to not let me waste money in support of this joke of a franchise again. We also decided that for us to go through this ridiculous scenario again next season would require an awesome draft pick, Rubio coming over, and going undefeated for two months to start the season. Because of this, I fully expect to not be back into the Target Center for a Wolves game until 2014.

See you then, and if you ever want to talk about how bad the Vikings are too, you all are always welcome to my blog over at Purple Jesus Diaries. Thanks to everyone here for commenting on our threads and for bumping us to the front page. I hope these recaps gave you some insight into the Target Center and Minneapolis experience from a peripheral fan, and that at least some of it we could all laugh about in this season of crap.

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