Tim's Game Preview: Game 5, San Antonio Spurs
by TimAllen on Jan 2, 2012 4:37 PM CST
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Minnesota Timberwolves (4-0) vs. San Antonio Spurs (3-1) at Target Center
A long time ago in an arena not that far away...
...it is a period of rebuilding. Timberwolves players, striking from the Target Center, have won their first victory against the evil Cuban Empire. During the battle, the Wolves managed to unveil their ultimate weapon, Ricky Rubio, a rookie point guard with enough court vision to destroy an entire league.
Pursued by San Antonio's sinister agents, Rick Adelman has the game plan that will save Twin Cities basketball and restore freedom to the galaxy...
The Minnesota Timberwolves
Love Solo
"Hokey zen religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good rebounder at your side, kid."
Rubio Skywalker
"I'm Ricky Skywalker. I'm not like anybody else. I'm here to rescue you."
Rick Won Kenobi
"San Antonio's locker room: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany. We must be cautious."
Admiral Ackahn
"You are going to love Jonny Flynn."
C3PridnOur
"We're doomed."
Beasley Calrissian
"That thing's operational!"
Darkobacca
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!"
Jar Jar Johnson
"Mesa called Jar-Jar Johnson. Mesa your humble servant. "
The San Antonio Empire
Darth Duncan
"Don't be too proud of this point guard terror you've constructed. The ability to make a bounce pass is insignificant next to the potential of the Spurs."
Greedo Parker
He definitely shoots first.
Grand Manu Tarkin
"Wolves fans are extinct, their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of their kind."
Boba Jeff
"This time, we will get them all."
Count DeJuan
"Kevin Love, you have fought gallantly. Worthy of recognition in the archives of the Hall of Fame. Now...it is finished."
Emperor Popovich
"And now, young Rubio...you will die."
My Prediction: Timberwolves 103 - San Antonio Spurs 92
Timberwolves' Record: 5-0
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Comments
This is...
BRILLIANT! I love it.
I watch this team, and i care so much, simply because i can’t not. It’s just a part of who i am..
very nice
I miss the snarky joke, but that gets harder as our team looks legitimate.
Jar Jar Johnson not snarky enough for you?
Go Wolves!
Not a big deal
Pretty soon those previously snarky jokes will just be facts
Some of your best work yet Tim
All of them are so great, but Jar Jar Johnson I think is my favourite (Adelman is close). Come to think of it, is there anyway we could play Jar Jar Binks instead of Johnson?
Long and Athletic
Breathes underwater and is probably more co-ordinated when it comes to dribbling a basketball. What is the downside?
Oh yeh, thats right, he is annoying as hell
"annoying as hell"
Unfortunately, this describes Johnson’s play as of late…
"Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously."
— Hunter S. Thompson
Long yes.
Athletic? Not so much.
Will the Real Thor Please Stand Up ... ?
by the Real Thor on Jan 2, 2012 5:09 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
What photoshop?
But seriously who’s laia in this scenario?
Will the Real Thor Please Stand Up ... ?
by the Real Thor on Jan 2, 2012 5:11 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
her?
I watch this team, and i care so much, simply because i can’t not. It’s just a part of who i am..
that didn't work...
I watch this team, and i care so much, simply because i can’t not. It’s just a part of who i am..
Who
Plays Laia in this scenerio?
Will the Real Thor Please Stand Up ... ?
by the Real Thor on Jan 2, 2012 5:12 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
That would make the whole kiss scene in "Empire" even more awkward
Welcome to Lob Tundra! -dan_the_man
Tickets in hand
Ready to get a good Belgian brew at Bulldog and then off to Target Center.
I really hope they don’t have a let down game. The Spurs are much better than the Mavs and this one won’t be so easy.
best SW parody poster ever
Adelman looks like he was born to wear a brown hoodie
What's wrong with the NBA is what's wrong with the USA: too much respect for superstars and not enough for working class heroes.
Darkobacca!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh!
Brilliant.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
great post
And the pic reminds me of what went through my head re the Barrea/Rubio pairing: Ricky Juan Kenobi.
by revcp on Jan 2, 2012 5:18 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Brilliant!
I hope somebody takes the time and actually makes a cleaned up version of the poster. General Ackhan was so funny!
It’s a TRAP!
by Harvey Ratner on Jan 2, 2012 5:22 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
This game not being on TV is a total buzz kill for me.
I was going to order pizza, get home from work and chill. Then an hour ago, it was brought to my attention I can’t watch this game. Now, I’m just pissed.
Thanks
But I would only need it for just one game and don’t feel like going through the hastle. So I may try and find a crappy internet version out there. Thanks anyway.
With most cable providers
you should be able to find it in the high channels (like 700’s). I have Charter so i can’t get it.
So if I have Charter, which doesn't seem to carry it on the cable box,
is it still possible to use the broadband trial?
I think the game
will be blacked out on League pass if it’s anything like MLB.TV.
by srbaseball2003 on Jan 2, 2012 5:41 PM CST up reply actions
I just signed up for it.
It’s showing up on the list and last night’s game does not so maybe. Flipped on a game to check out the quality and it was pretty meh. Very choppy.
"Greedo Parker": He Definitely Shoots First
That might be the best joke I’ve heard in weeks.
Welcome to Lob Tundra! -dan_the_man
I was actually waiting for that joke,
but I was thinking it was gonna be Luke. Works perfectly for Parker as well.
Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
I would say Princess Leia is
a competent two guard Love Solo and Rubio Skywalker have yet to rescue.
I know of at least three lawyers who are regular visitors here, so I think I'll be okay.
=)
Follow me on Twitter @timallenonline
And have you guys paid your ASCAP dues?
Just wondering…
Wolves 2011-12: Crossing the Rubikahn....alea iacta est...... " et tu Ricky?"
by Tangerine dream on Jan 2, 2012 6:50 PM CST up reply actions
Jabba
Wolves 2011-12: Crossing the Rubikahn....alea iacta est...... " et tu Ricky?"
by Tangerine dream on Jan 2, 2012 7:04 PM CST up reply actions
Nonsense.
He’s a wampa.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Jan 2, 2012 11:05 PM CST up reply actions
GOL (guffaw out loud)
This was great, y’all. Darkobacca and Emperor Pop are just so perfect.
Free Cory Joseph!
FYI - No Barea tonight, but Beasley's gonna try to play.
Ridnour will start again.
Follow me on Twitter @timallenonline
Beasley:
As opposed to other nights?
Wolves 2011-12: Crossing the Rubikahn....alea iacta est...... " et tu Ricky?"
by Tangerine dream on Jan 2, 2012 6:25 PM CST up reply actions
Right.
On other nights he plays to not try.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Jan 2, 2012 6:31 PM CST up reply actions
Some quotes
“I feel your lack of D disturbing”
-Rick Won kenobi to C3PridnOur
Beasley Calrissian: What is this?
Rubio Skywalker: A no-look pass, an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
“Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep”
-JJ2B2
Also, from last year’s finals:
Obi wan Barea: This is not the championship you are lookig for.
Lebron Trooper: This is not the championship we are looking for.
by Joe Kozinski on Jan 2, 2012 6:38 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
JJ mind tricks
Wolves 2011-12: Crossing the Rubikahn....alea iacta est...... " et tu Ricky?"
by Tangerine dream on Jan 2, 2012 6:55 PM CST up reply actions
"Hokey zen religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good rebounder at your side, kid."
This one is the best. Especially when you think about how Love and Rambis clashed.
I just wish I could come up with a clever quote regarding the triangle and the pick and roll.
Also Ricky Skywalker is the second best quote.
Excellent preview, man. I approve.
Also, yall are a scary team. Welcome back to the playoffs, this year, i think :)
Will argue against trading #45 until I am blue in the face and your eyes and ears are bleeding.
Thanks. We feel pretty solid tonight.
Catch us in a week. We might be a therapy group.
"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope
by Cynical Jason on Jan 2, 2012 11:06 PM CST up reply actions
Awesome preview
Pek apologist
by running with Twolves (and scissors) on Jan 2, 2012 9:46 PM CST reply actions
Admiral Ackhan was hilarious as it was.
But scrolling down to see that quote had me laughing out loud.
Lovely work Tim.
Live And Stupid From England
by JonesTheCat on Jan 3, 2012 8:36 AM CST via mobile reply actions
Yeah. The Admiral quote was excellent.
Will argue against trading #45 until I am blue in the face and your eyes and ears are bleeding.
by SpursfanSteve on Jan 3, 2012 3:32 PM CST up reply actions
I just saw this and am so glad I have basked in its glory on such a chilly day as this.
TimAllen, your powers are mighty and you most definitely use them for good.
Wow. I’d wish for the Force to be with you, but it’s clear that it already is.
small ball will at least be bigger overall. - grego21
Pounding the Rock
by J.R. Wilco on Jan 3, 2012 3:02 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
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