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Around SBN: Kobe Bryant Will Never Top Michael Jordan

Tim's Game Preview: Game 15, Los Angeles Clippers

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With Chris Paul injured and not playing, and the Timberwolves in town tonight, they're going to have to change the name to "Sob City".

Minnesota Timberwolves (14-0) vs. Los Angeles Clippers (8-4) at STAPLES Center

The Minnesota Timberwolves have not had three actual victories in a row since February 6th, 2010. That's nearly two full years. They'll be trying to change that tonight when the Wolves take on the Los Angeles Clippers. The Clippers have only one loss at home all season - a 13 point thumping from the Chicago Bulls - and defeated the defending champion Dallas Mavericks 91-89 on Wednesday.

Los Angeles will be without point guard Chris Paul, however, who is out with a hamstring injury. The Wolves will still be without Michael Beasley, who did not travel with the team for tonight's game or Saturday's game against the Utah Jazz.

Tonight's game between the Clippers and Wolves is being shown at 9:30 PM CST on ESPN. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to hearing Hubie Brown call Ricky Rubio's first nationally televised game.

Let's break down the matchups below:

Star-divide

Ept_sports_nba_experts-932559491-1295266599_medium

Now that DeAndre Jordan is making $10 million per season, he doesn't have to shake down his teammates for money anymore.

Nikola Pekovic vs. DeAndre Jordan

Darko, it's not you, it's me. I have this need to want a center to be able to score, rebound and/or defend. Since you seem to be incapable of all three, I just don't think it is going to work out between us. Let's both be adults about this and agree to see other people before things really start to get bitter. I knew we should've pushed harder for that prenup...

Nikola Pekovic - despite having yet to grab a single defensive rebound this season in 61 minutes - looked impressive on Wednesday night against the Detroit Pistons. He played solid defensive on Greg Monroe and he scored some nice baskets in the paint. Instead of starting Darko, give the Sub-Mariner the nod tonight and take DeAndre Jordan out of the game early.

Winner: Nikola Pekovic

Blake-griffin-gi_medium

Big deal. He jumped over the 'hood' of a car. Kevin Love can do that, too...provided that the car is a Hot Wheel. Actually, that might be a bit ambitious. Let's start with a Micro Machine.

Kevin Love vs. Blake Griffin

In the debate between Kevin Love and Blake Griffin...there really is no debate. Love scores more and does so more efficiently. He rebounds at a higher rate. He fouls less and goes to the foul line more often. His WS/.48 is nearly twice that of Griffin's. Griffin can dunk over Kia's and Timofey Mozgov's, but Love is better in nearly every other category.

Tonight will be no different. Griffin might make a few posters, but posters are for kid's rooms. Love is about wins. We have six of them this year. Holla.

Winner: Kevin Love


Caron-butler-e1271959038647_medium '

Remember when Caron Butler used to chew on a straw while he played basketball? That's the joke.

Wesley Johnson vs. Caron Butler

On Wednesday night, Wesley Johnson went 4-of-6 from the floor for 11 points and 3 rebounds. He went to the free throw line 4 times (thankfully, Love was able to remind him where that line is on a basketball court). He finished with a -2 +/-. It was probably his best game of the season.

Your 2010 #4 overall pick, everybody!

Did they give Caron Butler a championship ring for sitting on the bench watching the Dallas Mavericks win the NBA title? He basically had the best courtside seat in the world. That's not terribly impressive.

Winner: Wesley Johnson

Randy_foye-904_medium

The only thing Fourth-Quarter Foye was building was a house with all of his bricks.

Luke Ridnour vs. Randy Foye

Randy Foye actually ended up being a pretty important piece in the Timberwolves Blueprint 9.0. It just wasn't the piece that Kevin McHale thought he would be when Foye was drafted. Foye, and Mike "Naismith" Miller, were traded to Washington for the #5 overall pick in 2009...which was used to select the Magical Unicorn himself. So, thank you Randy Foye, for having enough trade value left to snooker Ernie Grunfeld into trading for you.

Luke Ridnour did not have a great game on Wednesday night against the Pistons and found himself watching from the bench during the final minutes. With J.J. Barea back, Wayne Ellington playing and Rubio now in the starting lineup, who knows how Ridnour's role will change. I still project him in the starting lineup for tonight, but hope that my favorite Wolves player - Makin' It Wayne - will get some solid minutes tonight at the 2-guard.

Winner: Luke Ridnour

Chanucey-billups-cake-video_medium

Billups is one of those aging veteran starters who should probably be coming off of the bench. Thankfully, the Clippers are coached by Vinny Del Negro, so he's even less likely to notice this than most.

Ricky Rubio vs. Chauncey Billups

Ricky Rubio has been wowing analysts, opposing teams' fans and pretty much everyone who has been watching basketball for the past month. He's shrugged off the bad reputation about poor stats from Europe, about not being able to shoot and about being a subpar defender. He's made players like Anthony Randolph and Wayne Ellington relevant again and may single-handedly change them from below-average role players to integral parts of a successful team.

Is that hyperbole? I don't think so. The Wolves have 6 wins right now in 14 games, which is the fewest amount since Kevin Garnett wore white and blue. It took them 23 games to get there last season. In Randy Wittman's season as head coach, it took them 40 games. What we are witnessing right now may be mundane and mediocre to the rest of the NBA, but given the Wolves history, this is extraordinary stuff.

It's going to continue tonight in front of a nationally-televised audience.

Winner: Ricky Rubio

Del-negro-12

Watching Vinny Del Negro coach a basketball game is like watching a B-movie on the Syfy Channel. It's so bad, and yet, you cannot turn your eyes away because you might miss Jaleel White getting eaten by a shark the size of an aircraft carrier.

My Prediction: Timberwolves 87 - Los Angeles Clippers 79

Timberwolves' Record: 15-0


Comment 64 comments  |  4 recs  | 

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This seals it. Your officially are the best caption man in the biz.

“Now that DeAndre Jordan is making $10 million per season, he doesn’t have to shake down his teammates for money anymore. "

by Tollysnipes on Jan 20, 2012 5:50 PM CST reply actions   2 recs

That got me, too.

Funny stuff, as always.

"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope

by Cynical Jason on Jan 20, 2012 5:54 PM CST up reply actions  

agreed, that was excellent Tim

I like the prenup, SobCity, Deandre Jordan lines particularly. I hope Darko comes off the bench as well. I think it’s long overdue.

by bsg007 on Jan 20, 2012 7:05 PM CST up reply actions  

We might need Darko

After Pek gets ejected for punching Blake Griffin’s feet,

"pokin' the animals at the Canis Hoopus zoo"

by pastyearsears on Jan 20, 2012 7:11 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

Blake will look funny

trying to jump over cars with no feet.

"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope

by Cynical Jason on Jan 20, 2012 7:27 PM CST up reply actions  

Apropos of nothing

In, The Feeling of What Happens, (I think that was the one) Antonio Damasio gives an amazing explanation of everything that happens physiologically when we see a shadow move across the floor out of the corner of our eye. That little startled jump involves almost every part of our body. I saw Blake Griffin have one of those moments in a college game. He was in the middle of one of his impressive power dunks when he thought someone was coming at him. There was no one there but he jerked his head away and slammed the side of his face into the backboard. Luckily he was unhurt and laughed it off, but I thought, he better watch out or he’s going to get his head wedged between the rim and the backboard.

"pokin' the animals at the Canis Hoopus zoo"

by pastyearsears on Jan 20, 2012 7:41 PM CST up reply actions   2 recs

that is

effing awesome! Blake Griffin pinata party!!!! I’ll bring the beer…and some hockey sticks.

Reason is the first victim of strong emotion.

by nodnarb on Jan 20, 2012 8:26 PM CST up reply actions  

Big deal. He jumped over the ‘hood’ of a car. Kevin Love can do that, too…provided that the car is a Hot Wheel. Actually, that might be a bit ambitious. Let’s start with a Micro Machine.

Wow, well played sir, well played. Fourth quarter Foye…. this article has everything!

by zebano on Jan 20, 2012 5:53 PM CST reply actions  

Seriously

even got a Jaleel White reference

You crazy car, I don't know whether to eat you or kiss you

by John Truckasauras on Jan 20, 2012 5:57 PM CST up reply actions  

the shark the size of an aircraft carrier

is much less fearsome than the half shark half octopus the size of an aircraft carrier!

first-worst-first?

by holymackerel on Jan 20, 2012 6:43 PM CST up reply actions  

here is a serious question:

Who would make out better on a Love for Griffin swap?

I almost like it for both teams… Interesting to ponder.

by TO12 on Jan 20, 2012 6:28 PM CST via iPhone app reply actions  

It's easy to lust for a number of the NBA greats.

But Love is more substantial. You can’t get what Love gives you anywhere else. That’s what makes him such a great piece to build around.

"pokin' the animals at the Canis Hoopus zoo"

by pastyearsears on Jan 20, 2012 6:56 PM CST up reply actions  

The funny thing is

I’m actually pretty hard on Love. But I gotta give him props for how much substance he packs into his minutes, regardless of how bad his D is, and how poorly he sometimes handles ISO situations against Brody.. Ooops. I mean the opposing defender.

by whistle_this on Jan 20, 2012 7:54 PM CST up reply actions  

4:30 AM in Spain

That’s the time wue expect the start of the game here.

When the games are over we usually bitch about a couple of players, remember some awful basketball stretches ans congratulates over a moral victory or ¡OMG A REAL W!

But a couple of hours to go with the next Wolves game…Man, I’m eager to see our guys play.

Every single night. Insert Bill Murray meme here.

CH+Unicorn+Pek+Make it Wayne+LoveLove LoveLove+Luuuuke+AR+Serious Tolliver+DWill. Yeah, So much fun…

Let’s stay awake watching Pau vs Howard and then let the show begin.

by antrodax on Jan 20, 2012 6:55 PM CST reply actions   1 recs

I slightly feel

as if we are becoming a more internationally known team. And I like that.

by WooPig14 on Jan 20, 2012 7:11 PM CST up reply actions  

All these international fans make me feel

Like I belong to a bigger community than when it was just me and all these space heaters.

"pokin' the animals at the Canis Hoopus zoo"

by pastyearsears on Jan 20, 2012 7:16 PM CST up reply actions  

That is fantastic

Do you go to sleep and wake up early, or stay up all night to watch?

by eshold on Jan 20, 2012 7:53 PM CST up reply actions  

tweet on espn
ESPNChrisPalmer chris palmer
Kevin Love on NBA’s best power forward: “It’s me. Every time I step on the floor I have the upper hand.”

by illwafer on Jan 20, 2012 7:28 PM CST reply actions  

like the cockiness

Wolves getting a little swagger back?

"Humor is reason gone mad." Marx (Groucho, for the reason-gone-mad impaired)

by uncle rico on Jan 20, 2012 7:54 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm more wary of jordan v love...

hopefully love can force some quick fouls

by bustaone on Jan 20, 2012 8:56 PM CST up reply actions  

Yay, glad to see you back

I’ll never take you for granted again, I promise.

Yo ho ho and a FirstRow stream!

by TMiss on Jan 20, 2012 7:50 PM CST reply actions  

Don't have time to watch this one live

but it ought to be pretty good. Really, the story is Love vs Griffin – I hope for the sake of Wolfy pride that I’ll check the box later and see another 30 and 20 or something. My suspicion is that the Clippers have too much interior scoring for the Wolves to handle, but if the threes are falling we can play with anyone.

Incidentally, superlative Vinny DN caption, Tim.

T'Wolves 2012: Where Bears Are Fought And Unicorns Untamed

by Malastare on Jan 20, 2012 7:58 PM CST reply actions  

Blake is one guy

Love can probably post up pretty effectively.

by Rascal Flatts on Jan 20, 2012 8:02 PM CST up reply actions  

In between...

What a magnificent turd are building the Lakers at Orlando. 22 at halftime. 23 down.

by antrodax on Jan 20, 2012 8:08 PM CST reply actions  

it was no halftime, but a time out.

Someway they managed to score nine points more in the last minute.

And that only to show what a big mouth i am. 48-31.

by antrodax on Jan 20, 2012 8:11 PM CST up reply actions  

great post as always

thanks for the hard work doing these

by youngwooolf on Jan 20, 2012 8:17 PM CST reply actions  

Gomes is going to start.

IMHO that means big mins at SF for Williams.

by whistle_this on Jan 20, 2012 8:24 PM CST reply actions  

Jordan

Clips allow 116 pts per 100 possessions when he’s out of the game. Pekovic could be a factor in this game if he and Love can draw some fouls on Jordan.

by Rascal Flatts on Jan 20, 2012 8:31 PM CST reply actions  

Plus..

it’s not like jordan is going to get past the thousand hand slap defense.

by bustaone on Jan 20, 2012 9:00 PM CST up reply actions  

Perspective.

It is only a game. Played by a bunch of men, many of whom are even younger than me, who make a whole lot more money than I dio. Just to play a game.

But omigod I am so nervous/excited/expectant for OUR BELOVED PUPPIES on national TV. I. Love. This Team.

by PDGirl on Jan 20, 2012 8:35 PM CST reply actions  

I forgot to mention-

“who do not know me from a whole in the wall.” So why should I care so much?!?!? Damn this team and this stupid blog :)

by PDGirl on Jan 20, 2012 8:36 PM CST up reply actions  

Anyone know...

How we can watch the 1st quarter when the early ESPN game goes way over…like it does every time!!!

"I'm gonna make you cry...I'm gonna make you cry and dip my cookie in your tears!!!"

by mutleyil on Jan 20, 2012 8:38 PM CST reply actions  

Thanks...

"I'm gonna make you cry...I'm gonna make you cry and dip my cookie in your tears!!!"

by mutleyil on Jan 20, 2012 8:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Hope he does.

Hate the superstar transactions.. unless he comes our way for some sort of non love/rubio deal :-)

by bustaone on Jan 20, 2012 8:59 PM CST up reply actions  

Lol I was thinking about that. But I think he’s going to the Lakers. Would love to see Bynum come our way. :)

by MychalShannon1 on Jan 20, 2012 9:02 PM CST up reply actions  

I'd hate to see Bynum come our way.

It would be like the Sam/Spree years all over again: rooting for the team to succeed while rooting for significant players (or, in this case, a significant player) to go the f*** away.

"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope

by Cynical Jason on Jan 20, 2012 9:19 PM CST up reply actions  

Lol is it because he’s a Laker? Because to me when healthy and when he gets his touches he’s one of the most dominant players in the league.

by MychalShannon1 on Jan 20, 2012 9:29 PM CST up reply actions  

It's because he's a dirty player.

And a whiny bitch.

"Of what use is a philosopher who does not hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes of Sinope

by Cynical Jason on Jan 20, 2012 9:31 PM CST up reply actions  

I guess it’d never happen with Barea on the team now after what happened last year. But we could use his toughness plus K Love would have someone to whine with.

by MychalShannon1 on Jan 20, 2012 9:35 PM CST up reply actions  

GO WOLVES!

Wish Beasley was back. Miss seein’ that guy play. He’ll ‘get it’ eventually.

I'm still a Minnesotan at heart...

by urluckyday on Jan 20, 2012 9:15 PM CST reply actions  

Haha

Magic looks depressed over his Lakers

by KD1 on Jan 20, 2012 9:37 PM CST reply actions  

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