Tim's Game Preview: Game 21, Houston Rockets
A 100% factual preview for tonight's game.
Minnesota Timberwolves (9-11) vs. Houston Rockets (12-8) at Toyota Center
After writing the preview for last Friday's game against the San Antonio Spurs, I received an e-mail telling me that my game previews are worthless because they do not include any factual information. The starting lineups are often wrong, the winners of each matchup are "biased" and the Wolves' record is misrepresented. He said that it would be nice if my previews were done better so that he could draw some value out of them. E-mailer Guy also threw in some expletives to help him get his point across.
As someone who appreciates feedback in all its forms, I decided to try it his way. Below is the first Tim's Game Preview that is 100% accurate. Enjoy and let me know what you think:
Petersen's knowledge of the game is exactly why I think he'll be a great color commentator once he decides to retire as a player.
Christian Laettner vs. Jim Petersen
After winning the 1995 NBA Draft Lottery, the Minnesota Timberwolves decided to pass over Shaquille O'Neal and Cappie Pondexter to select Christian Laettner with the 1st overall selection. So far, the rookie out of Wake Forest University has not disappointed. While there were some questions about Laettner's ability in clutch situations, mostly thanks to his missed buzzer beater against the Kentucky Wildcats, he has proven to be an above-average rebounder and top notch defender.
For Houston, Jim Petersen has been a solid option in the post, but he has also expanded his game to include a consistent three-point shot. Along with rookie point guard Tom Hanneman, who comes off of the bench for the Rockets, this duo has been very tough to guard in pick-and-roll and pick-and-pop situations. Hopefully, Laettner can shut down this powerful tandem.
Winner: Jim Petersen
Rumor has it that Sampson took his kids to a Minnesota Golden Gopher game while in town this weekend and second son fell in love with the Gopher colors. Maybe we can get him to enroll someday.
Charles Shackleford vs. Ralph Sampson
For a second round pick out of North Carolina State University, Charles Shackleford has certainly impressed scouts and Minnesota coaches enough to win the starting power forward spot. One of the best playmaking forwards in the entire NBA, Shackleford completed the fourth triple-double of his career in last night's game against the Buffalo Braves.
Who can deny the imposing force of the 1984 #1 overall pick, Ralph Sampson? In his rookie season, Sampson averaged 21 points and 22 rebounds per game, which made him only the 3rd rookie to average a 20/20. The other two were Bill Buntin of the 1966 Detroit Pistons and Zeke Zawoluk of the 1953 Indianapolis Olympians. Shackleford will have his hands full tonight.
Winner: Charles Shackleford
Vancouver Grizzlies fans are still upset with Carter after the way he forced a trade to Houston.
Gerald Glass vs. Vince Carter
Vince Carter may be one of the best athletes to ever play in the NBA or in any professional sport. If only he could get his head on straight, he might be the best basketball player in the NBA. Unfortunately, he is injury prone, he does not always give 100% effort and he has already forced a trade when he did not like his circumstances up in Canada.
Still, when Carter plays up to his potential, there are very few players who can stop him.
As much as I like Gerald Glass, I'm not sure he will be able to contain Carter tonight. Hopefully, Glass - who is a career .560 shooter, can make up for it on the other end of the court. Still, I think bringing a double team off of Carter would be a smart move, forcing others on the Rockets to beat the Wolves.
Winner: Vince Carter
Possibly the best player ever to come out of the University of Wisconsin-River Falls.
Bracey Wright vs. Reece Gaines
Wolves fans were concerned about the lack of depth that the team would have at the 2-guard position this year. After all, with Ray Allen having bi-lateral leg weakness and Stephen Curry failing to produce in his second NBA season, prospects looked bleak. That was until the emergence of former Hoosier Bracey Wright, who has been absolutely stunning over the last two weeks. In that seven game stretch, Wright has averaged 16.5 points, 4.8 rebounds and 2.8 assists per game on 51% shooting.
Tonight, Wright will have to take on Reece Gaines, who led the UWRF Falcons to two straight Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference titles. Gaines has been so-so this season with the Rockets, but with his shooting form and hard work, it is only a matter of time before he emerges as a viable option on the wing.
Winner: Bracey Wright
I really have no idea where Floyd's nickname came from...
Jonny Flynn vs. Eric "Sleepy" Floyd
Minnesota Timberwolves' fans were ecstatic when GM David Kahn selected Flynn with the #5 overall pick in the 2009 NBA Draft. They were slightly more puzzled when Kahn took another point guard, Stephen Curry, with the very next selection. This, along with the selection of William Avery with the 18th overall pick, made the Wolves the subject of "too many point guard" jokes on TNT, ESPN and other national media outlets.
So far, however, Flynn has lived up to the hype. Boston Celtics' forward Al Jefferson called him the next Charlie Paulk and teammate Rashad McCants said he plays "like a cross between [Kevin] Nash and [Axel] Rose".
Tonight, Flynn will get to guard Eric Floyd, who scored 21 points and dished out 8 assists in last night's game against the the Tri-Cities Blackhawks.
Winner: Jonny Flynn
Rockets' coach Lon Chaney, Jr., has sure put a "scare" into opposing teams with his tough defensive mindset. The Wolves will need to take care of the ball and get quality shots if they want to win tonight.
My Prediction: Timberwolves 87 1/2 - Houston Rockets 95
Timberwolves Record: 16-12
67 comments
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Comments
Please
Tell us who this emailer was, so we can shun them accordingly.
by SSOL (thats what she said) on Jan 30, 2012 4:20 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Reminder to people:
Using “gay” to describe things you do not like is no bueno. Please do not do it.
But it's cool to use it to describe things we like, right?
Like, “Man, this delicious green appletini is totally gay! High five!”
by princelyfrank on Jan 30, 2012 4:32 PM CST up reply actions
the classy alternative
replaced the letter “a” with an “@” symbol
by BrazilYinzer on Jan 30, 2012 4:34 PM CST up reply actions
Greatest. Preview. Ever.
The Lon Chaney line just killed me.
That's really, really wierd
how there is a third Timberwolf in that first picture.
Bizarre.
Was equally confused
I thought Rubio and Love were the players on the team. Meanwhile in Houston we have Kyle Lowry.
Was too far to huck a beer at a Stro’s player as per bone’s request. Jess (girlfriend) said I was too far, I said challenge accepted, a security guard said guess again.-BD34
That is the reason I don't go to Battle Red Blog. I would be too rational and guys would flag my posts as spam.-batman713
Never change TimAllen
Your previews are gold.
by lblock07 on Jan 30, 2012 4:30 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
This reads like a game preview mad lib
filled out by Cliff Clavin.
by Madison Dan on Jan 30, 2012 4:33 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
Effing brilliant
The best part is that the only folks who are harmed by these forecasts are the humorless gits who wander in here expecting game insights, not realizing that Wolves fans are 7th Dimensional beings who have seen the future and speak of the present only in terms of derisive irony.
Yo ho ho and a FirstRow stream!
You have Sleepy Floyd as your desktop wallpaper?
That’s pretty cool.
Follow me on Twitter @timallenonline
I just got owned by TA
I meant the Wolves pic at the top with Love, Rubio and Williams. But not that you mention it, Sleepy Floyd is an acceptable alternative I will consider in the future.
www.unleashkevinlove.com
Hey, Tim!
- YOU!
But really its great how people get baited by these, so good.
If I'm pissing you off its probably sarcasm
That bullet point was four asterisks, which were supposed to represent a certain angry 4-letter word
If I'm pissing you off its probably sarcasm
by CoffeeJanitor on Jan 30, 2012 4:40 PM CST up reply actions
Thank you for wiping my misplaced-gif -response out, by the way
The less evidence of my idiocy that can be seen on the internet, the better.
Also, SBNation, a delete-comment button is long overdue.
Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
Why is there a picture
of Tracy McGrady in the Vince Carter section?
www.unleashkevinlove.com
by erikanthony on Jan 30, 2012 4:42 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
What do you mean? All I see is Vince Carter's ugly mug
If I'm pissing you off its probably sarcasm
by CoffeeJanitor on Jan 30, 2012 4:46 PM CST up reply actions
I love this
Granted, I try to do previews that are as good as this sometimes, but the best I can come up with is, “Kevin Love might be Courtney Love’s younger brother.”
I bow to the greatness. Good luck tonight fellas.
Was too far to huck a beer at a Stro’s player as per bone’s request. Jess (girlfriend) said I was too far, I said challenge accepted, a security guard said guess again.-BD34
That is the reason I don't go to Battle Red Blog. I would be too rational and guys would flag my posts as spam.-batman713
by ak2themax on Jan 30, 2012 4:46 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
Good luck to you as well.
Follow me on Twitter @timallenonline
by TimAllen on Jan 30, 2012 4:47 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Newest best preview ever.
I don’t know how you come up with it TA, but it’s brilliant.
I miss the "I've got your nose" defense
that Peterson utilized so well back in the day. Probably the most devastating move since Deacon Jones’ head slap.
I AM Ridiculous!
"Oh my, oh my, oh my. Is that great basketball or what?" --Hubie Brown, Jan. 20, 2012
by Cynical Jason on Jan 30, 2012 10:19 PM CST up reply actions
I'd just seen that episode the day before
otherwise that I don’t think any of these quotes would mean anything to me. Kind of surprised anyone else knew what the hell I was talking about.
I've been watching
that series on DVD recently. I don’t watch TV generally, but a friend lent me the first three seasons. I’m entertained by the show.
Now I need to finish Heroes (because I have OCD and I have to do one thing at a time) before I can watch Breaking Bad and Community.
"Oh my, oh my, oh my. Is that great basketball or what?" --Hubie Brown, Jan. 20, 2012
by Cynical Jason on Jan 31, 2012 7:22 PM CST up reply actions
Why would you attempt to finish Heroes?
That show was awful. I really liked season 1 because I’m a geek but the writers (pretty sure they changed regularly) constantly changed where the plot was going and wrote themselves into corners because of how powerful they let the characters get. I’m watching Sherlock right now which is excellent and just got started on the newer Doctor Who series which is fun.
Well, in my defense,
I’m only five episodes into season one of Heroes, so it hasn’t fallen off yet.
"Oh my, oh my, oh my. Is that great basketball or what?" --Hubie Brown, Jan. 20, 2012
by Cynical Jason on Feb 1, 2012 5:30 PM CST up reply actions
I wouldn't worry about that emailer.
His head just exploded.
by LosAngelesTWolf on Jan 30, 2012 5:07 PM CST reply actions
As always, fantastic job, even though I only recognised about three players...
I reckon Pek’s gonna tear down a rim tonight
Live And Stupid From England
I may be slightly confused
(it is after all my normal state of being) , but this review seems eerily familiar somehow. It’s as if the great players from the Timberwolves past had been reborn.
These clowns that you are trying to pawn off as Rockets players however, are totally ludicrous. Who would ever believe that there were guys such as Vince Carter, Jim Peterson, Ralph Samson and Sleepy Floyd who played for Houston?
Bogus, Tim!
I think it would be better to go back to your original unbiased reviews and leave this factual stuff behind.
I absolutely loved this Tim! Another nice job!
Ricky is lobbing at an Ooptimal level!
Please help!!!
I was just discussing the NBA landscape with my brother recently and the topic of the magical unicorn came up. He had the gall to suggest that Sir Rubio was merely an average starting point guard. He knows more about basketball than I do so I felt that he “won” our little debate. He is crazy wrong right? His list of PG’s that are better…
Rondo, Deron Williams, Jrue Holiday, John Wall, Rose, Kyrie Irving, Brandon Jennings, Tony Parker, Chris Paul, Westbrook, Lawson, Nash, and Curry.
He’s mad right? Right?!
btw, awesome game preview.
by Child soldier Frank Jaeger on Jan 30, 2012 5:47 PM CST reply actions
I think he's wrong about several of those guys
Namely, Holiday, Jennings, Wall, Curry (mostly because he can’t stay healthy), and maybe Irving. On the other hand, there’s a good argument for Kyle Lowry.
I've changed my sig. The Wolves are now like a reasonably decent meal.
by Eric in Madison on Jan 30, 2012 5:50 PM CST up reply actions
You gotta put the following PGs above Rubio...
Rondo, Deron Williams, Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook, and Steve Nash.
by Darth Paxton on Jan 30, 2012 5:50 PM CST up reply actions
Definitely better?
Paul, Rose, DWill, Nash, Westbrook, Lowry, Parker
A little better/Similar?
Rondo, Irving, Lawson, Curry, Billups
Similar/ A little worse?
AMiller/Conley/Jennings/Felton/Calderon/Holiday
Lot of good point guards in the league, not even counting most combo guys.
by mr. eggplant on Jan 30, 2012 8:23 PM CST up reply actions
I don't like ranking wars
But Rubio has some absolutely phenomenal court-vision, and is one of the few PG’s in the league who is truly pass-first. He also plays damn good defense.
Also, remind your brother that this kid is a rookie and is cutting teams apart. Dude is only 21.
If I'm pissing you off its probably sarcasm
meant to be a reply to above post
If I'm pissing you off its probably sarcasm
by CoffeeJanitor on Jan 30, 2012 5:51 PM CST up reply actions
It's funny.
My brother made a decent case for most of the point guards. Almost so much that part of me admitted he was right. However, I watch the games (he hasn’t seen Rubio play yet) and Rubio makes such a massive impact on the court that I know he can’t merely be an average starting point guard.
by Child soldier Frank Jaeger on Jan 30, 2012 5:53 PM CST up reply actions
Constructive Criticism
I actually agree with some of your random emailer’s thoughts…other than the expletives part, I’d never criticize somebody for contributing thoughts/research/analysis/humor in that way.
I realize I’m in the minority, but I like the numbers/analysis more than the humor attempts. So a real look at matchups and mismatches would help those of us more unfamiliar with other teams’ non marquee players.
But if it’s this or nothing, I’ll take this. Actually, this was my favorite one of the season, since it didn’t even try to promise any substance.
I bet you can find "real" game previews on the Google.
Rubios - "Clinically PROVEN to Help Reduce Suckiness"
"like a cross between [Kevin] Nash and [Axel] Rose".
You are a legend. Never change.
T'Wolves 2012: Where Players We Hate Suck All The Time
If I want to read "factual" and "informative" game previews
I can go to one of the many potential outlets – other blogs, NBA.com, the local newspapers of the involved cities – If I want to read something to make me laugh and get me in the mood for watching the Timberwolves, then this is the absolute pre-game destination.
T'Wolves 2012: Where Players We Hate Suck All The Time
Interestingly enough, it's entirely possible that Kevin Nash was a better player than Jonny Flynn is
He played basketball for Tennessee before playing professionally in Europe. That doesn’t mean he would be a functional NBA player, but luckily for him neither is Jonny Flynn.
Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
Yes
YEEEES
If I'm pissing you off its probably sarcasm
by CoffeeJanitor on Jan 30, 2012 8:20 PM CST up reply actions
Do you think a higher percentage of Minnesoteans saw "The Grey" last weekend?
You know, due to the fact, that the movie has wolves in it and, the NBA basketball team that hails from Minnesota, has a wolf for a logo?
by Child soldier Frank Jaeger on Jan 30, 2012 6:34 PM CST reply actions
I know I'm late to the party, but...

You were a daydreamer, a sass-mouth, and, not infrequently, a bit of a gigglepuss. Somehow I doubt twenty years of amphetamines and failure have done anything to improve that.
by Kevin Loves McHale's Navy on Jan 30, 2012 6:58 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Effin Classic Funny
Im laughing out loud and my family is looking at me and they’re annoyed.
by Matt Leisen on Jan 30, 2012 7:22 PM CST via mobile reply actions
that &%^* game preview was %$^%$^ #$%$
i don’t know what you $#%$ are $#%#$ *&(^& !@#2 $%^$, and furthermore ^ @#$, $%^$%; Laeetner? not $^% helpful at all :(((
Great. Now I don't know where my brain is.
Funny stuff. Hanny as a point guard is killing me.
"Oh my, oh my, oh my. Is that great basketball or what?" --Hubie Brown, Jan. 20, 2012

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