Celebrity Endorsements: Andrei Kirilenko


Shoes, watches, underwear, restaurants, nightclubs, and Pastamania. Celebrities in our society have a pretty sweet gig. Not only do they receive hefty compensation for their on-screen talent, but they are paid a king's ransom to wear something in public or attach their names to a certain product. Tom Brady wears Uggs? OMG, must have!!!


I understand the game. If someone told me that I could receive $10,000 for every time I mentioned Axe Body Spray in a Fanpost, I would inundate CH with blogs regarding the merits of smelling like a 16 year old boy. I won't call anyone a sellout or say that they aren't keeping it real. It's all in the hustle, right Dante?

So when I heard that AK-47 had finally achieved his goal of Flowbee celebrity endorser, I was sincerely happy for him. For years, in between workouts and tremendous help defense, Andrei has been trying to catch on with the lucrative vacuum haircut market. He's demonstrated his dedication to trendy styles with looks like this:


and this:


And who could forget this:


He's been patiently waiting, attempting to kill time with stat lines like 16 pts, 10 reb, 6 ast, 1 stl, and 4 blck just so he wasn't consumed by Flowbee thoughts. He fell asleep at night, dreaming of the day that he would step into Bryant Collins' shoes to deliver step-by-step instructions to fellow Flowbee enthusiasts. Can you imagine the witty banter between Andrei and Gary at the the 30 second mark? It would be amazing:

What he didn't realize was that Flowbee was looking for a celebrity that could spread the gospel to the masses. Sure Andrei was a self-Flowbeer, but could he Flowbee others? It was on a recent road-trip, when Kirilenko convinced his Russian brother Shved to shed the top-knot and take a spin through vacuum-land, that Flowbee finally recognized his talent.

You totally deserve it. For years I've watched you from abroad, wondering how the hell you received an $86 million contract. It wasn't until recently that I realized your potential for greatness in the "as seen on tv" market. I wish you the best of luck in your celebrity endorsement and I swear that I will eventually sit down and see how your are at that other thing you do. Oh, that's right, basketball.

Congrats Andrei! Keep up the good work.

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