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Assignment Sheet for Game 38: Minnesota Timberwolves at Portland Trail Blazers

Note: I never grade my students on an assignment for which I haven't expressed my specific expectations. Since I'm grading the Timberwolves tonight, I thought it only fair that I first issue an assignment sheet. Here it is.

(Ed. Note: Since I'm working on some Sloan stuff, I'm going to let this suffice for the preview of tonight's Wolves-Blazers game. Well done, Mr. Jason - Tim)

Assignment:

The participants will compete in a National Basketball Association contest against the Portland TrailBlazers in Portland, Oregon on Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 7:00 PM PST (9:00CST, 0300 4 MAR 2012 Zulu). To do this, the participant (player or coach) must identify, communicate, and execute plays, each of which ideally results in a Timberwolves player sending the basketball through the appropriate hoop in a downward direction (i.e. scoring) while devising and implementing individual and team strategies for preventing the Portland TrailBlazers from doing the same. On offense, interior shots and sensible three-point attempts are preferred, but midrange jump shots can be justified if the shot clock is nearing zero, if the shooter is poorly- or unguarded and is well positioned, or if the shooter is not Wes Johnson. This competition is required to include four quarters of play, but may, under special circumstances, include attachments in the form of overtime periods. To recieve a passing grade for this assignment, the participant must show competence in the objectives as well as meet all requirements.

Objectives:

  • To demonstrate an understanding of and ability to exercise core skills, such as dribbling, passing, and shooting.
  • To disrupt the opposing players in their attempts to demonstrate the same.
  • To minimize turnovers of all kinds (see New Vocabulary for the introductions of three new variations).
  • To use set plays and unexpected opportunities to contrive to score more points than the opposition.
  • To forgo complaining to referees in the interest in participating on defense.
  • To not start Wes Johnson.
  • To make your damn free throws! (I'm looking at you, Derrick Williams.)

Requirements:

New Vocabulary for This Unit:

Mud Run: A Derrick Williams drive to the basket in which he picks up his dribble too early, causing him to take two overlong steps before attempting a weak leap at the hoop, which results in either a charge or a blocked shot.

Ridnover: An unassisted long jump shot by Luke Ridnour occurring with at least 15 seconds remaining on the shot clock resulting in a miss.

Wested Possession: A possession resulting in a shot attempt by Wes Johnson.

EDIT: Starting time will be 9:00 Central, not 10:00 as previously posted.