I mentioned the last time I did a report card that I don't grade my students without first making sure they know exactly what I expect from them. Here is tonight's assignment sheet.
I'm going to keep this simple since the
semester season is almost finished and there's not much more information to pass on to you. It's time for you to demonstrate mastery of the content you've experienced to this point. Because of this, your assignment tonight will be graded more heavily on individual performance than on group work.
Each of you will have unique objectives for this assignment:
You've already demonstrated that you have amazing energy and intensity. We know you're fearless. Please try to be more of a facilitator. Consider passing if you're in a 1-on-4 situation.
Keep doing your thing on the offensive side of the court. You've been driving to the rack lately, and that's great. Just put some energy and concentration in on the defensive side, alright?
Shoot. Just shoot. Shoot your ass off. Shoot shoot shoot.
Who are you? Are you on the team?
Calm down, kid. Take your time. Set up the offense. Don't be afraid.
You shaved your beard. You've already failed the class.
Never has such a large human been such a small player.
Keep the retirement tour going. Hit seven threes tonight.
Continue being awesome.
If you can put it together on the defensive end, you'll play your way into a decent contract somewhere next season. Keep on scoring and rebounding like you have been.
Take care of that ankle, buddy. We'll need you next season.
Take care of that knee, buddy. We all have man-crushes on you (except for PDGirl, whose crush is definitely not a man-crush). We'll really need you next season.
You're a great guy and your energy is awesome. Hit some shots, dude.
Maintain the awesome hair. Put some of that spazzy energy to work scoring, would you?
The dolphin-shot thing isn't a quick fix, so put that aside for now. You'll just have to spend time
in the writing lab with a shot doctor to get that straightened out. How about driving to the hole with more power? Don't pick up your dribble at the free-throw line. No more mud runs. You're a big dude--slam into some people while you're in control.
As with last time, refer to the NBA rule book.
I recognize that some of you have received less-than-crystal-clear instructions, but I feel like you know what you need to do (or not do, in some cases).
Good luck to you.