Assignment Sheet for Game #64: Wolves at Pistons

I mentioned the last time I did a report card that I don't grade my students without first making sure they know exactly what I expect from them. Here is tonight's assignment sheet.

I'm going to keep this simple since the semester season is almost finished and there's not much more information to pass on to you. It's time for you to demonstrate mastery of the content you've experienced to this point. Because of this, your assignment tonight will be graded more heavily on individual performance than on group work.

Each of you will have unique objectives for this assignment:

JJ Barea

You've already demonstrated that you have amazing energy and intensity. We know you're fearless. Please try to be more of a facilitator. Consider passing if you're in a 1-on-4 situation.

Michael Beasley

Keep doing your thing on the offensive side of the court. You've been driving to the rack lately, and that's great. Just put some energy and concentration in on the defensive side, alright?

Wayne Ellington

Shoot. Just shoot. Shoot your ass off. Shoot shoot shoot.

Wesley Johnson

Who are you? Are you on the team?

Malcolm Lee

Calm down, kid. Take your time. Set up the offense. Don't be afraid.

Kevin Love

You shaved your beard. You've already failed the class.

Darko Milicic

Never has such a large human been such a small player.

Brad Miller

Keep the retirement tour going. Hit seven threes tonight.

Nikola Pekovic

Continue being awesome.

Anthony Randolph

If you can put it together on the defensive end, you'll play your way into a decent contract somewhere next season. Keep on scoring and rebounding like you have been.

Luke Ridnour

Take care of that ankle, buddy. We'll need you next season.

Ricky Rubio

Take care of that knee, buddy. We all have man-crushes on you (except for PDGirl, whose crush is definitely not a man-crush). We'll really need you next season.

Anthony Tolliver

You're a great guy and your energy is awesome. Hit some shots, dude.

Martell Webster

Maintain the awesome hair. Put some of that spazzy energy to work scoring, would you?

Derrick Williams

The dolphin-shot thing isn't a quick fix, so put that aside for now. You'll just have to spend time in the writing lab with a shot doctor to get that straightened out. How about driving to the hole with more power? Don't pick up your dribble at the free-throw line. No more mud runs. You're a big dude--slam into some people while you're in control.


As with last time, refer to the NBA rule book.

I recognize that some of you have received less-than-crystal-clear instructions, but I feel like you know what you need to do (or not do, in some cases).

Good luck to you.

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