FanPost

The Legend of Wesley Johnson.

Hello all,

This is my first fanpost here on Canishoopus. In no way am I an English major, so attempt to hear my words, and listen to my face. I have been a diehard Timberwolf fan since the year of the rabbit. I have lurked in the shadows of C.H. for a long time now and it is this DAY I have decided to descend up you humans and restore glory to the T-Wolf nation. In this first post I will talk briefly about a player our beloved Wolves had for a mere two years. A type of player that we have gotten used to drafting, then drooling over during the summer preseason games, then 20 games into the season, they throw a Semi-Truck sized ice cream cone right at our face (without sprinkles mind you.) Who in tar nation is player? Wesley "Imma smile til my shot falls" Johnson.

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That man broke my heart. The summer we drafted him, I saw him at Target with a friend of mine. I immediately yelled his name across the parking lot and received a "deuces" sign. The rest is history. An example of good ole’ Wes is "that one fat dude from Space Jam.’’ A.k.a. Wayne Knight.

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He followed Michael around like a puppy dog, did whatever he was asked of, and smiled. Boy did that man smile. But when it came to basketball, it was a tragedy on the court. His freakish athleticism was a shadow to what he was capable of. His calf muscles bursting with muscle, flying down the court to get an alley-oop from MJ, and then suddenly…silence. He has been flattened by a Mon-STAR and left on the court to die. Wesley, you have incredible athleticism but boy oh boy, go back to MDB or something. Or take angry pills for goodness sake. I wish you the best. I hope you all enjoyed my article…if not, my secretary in Japan takes calls at 3AM. Have a good night, and you’re welcome. Are you not ENTERTAINED?!

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