This is my first fanpost here on Canishoopus. In no way am I an English major, so attempt to hear my words, and listen to my face. I have been a diehard Timberwolf fan since the year of the rabbit. I have lurked in the shadows of C.H. for a long time now and it is this DAY I have decided to descend up you humans and restore glory to the T-Wolf nation. In this first post I will talk briefly about a player our beloved Wolves had for a mere two years. A type of player that we have gotten used to drafting, then drooling over during the summer preseason games, then 20 games into the season, they throw a Semi-Truck sized ice cream cone right at our face (without sprinkles mind you.) Who in tar nation is player? Wesley "Imma smile til my shot falls" Johnson.
That man broke my heart. The summer we drafted him, I saw him at Target with a friend of mine. I immediately yelled his name across the parking lot and received a "deuces" sign. The rest is history. An example of good ole’ Wes is "that one fat dude from Space Jam.’’ A.k.a. Wayne Knight.
He followed Michael around like a puppy dog, did whatever he was asked of, and smiled. Boy did that man smile. But when it came to basketball, it was a tragedy on the court. His freakish athleticism was a shadow to what he was capable of. His calf muscles bursting with muscle, flying down the court to get an alley-oop from MJ, and then suddenly…silence. He has been flattened by a Mon-STAR and left on the court to die. Wesley, you have incredible athleticism but boy oh boy, go back to MDB or something. Or take angry pills for goodness sake. I wish you the best. I hope you all enjoyed my article…if not, my secretary in Japan takes calls at 3AM. Have a good night, and you’re welcome. Are you not ENTERTAINED?!<!--EndFragment-->