Sixers out lose Wolves! 2 losing streaks enter, 1 losing streak leaves

In a battle between home losing and road losing only one may lose. Luckily tonight it was the Sixers. I was planning on doing a quarter by quarter recap to capture the ebb and flow of the game, but it was mostly just flow. Here is the game progression as interpreted by punctuation faces:

: D : ) : ] : / : [ : ( >: ( Q: O<< (projectile vomit face while wearing a 'this is awful basketball' turban)

Macro Breakdown: The Sixers never lead. Wolves jumped out to a lead after a monster 1st quarter and literally could not give it away. Foul ridden mess that the wolves won by possessing the ability to functionally throw the ball at the hoop from 15 ft. away

Micro Breakdown:

The wolves came out of the gate like world beaters, wearing white tank tops and demanding the world get them a beer because they had to work all day at the mill while the world just sat around on it's fat useless ass and so help them if they hear one more word out of the world's mouth, JUST ONE! Good guys had a 35 point first quarter in which everyone on the team looked amazing. The Second quarter was a solid but not spectacular follow up to the first, the Temple of Doom of quarters. !HALF TIME!

The third was the usual crap fest. We allowed a 10-2 run by the Sixers and followed it up with a fourth quarter where we hit one field goal. Yep the 4th saw us go 1-12 from the field, the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull of quarters. How did we win? Well obviously because of super kick ass first quarter, but down the stretch because we could hit free throws. So many fouls! AK had 4, Ricky had 5, and Pek had 5. The entire second half seemed to exist in the bonus. The Sixers could not hit a free throw to save their life (or to win the game) at one point missing all three after a fouled 3pt. attempt. If you've ever imagined what a game would look like when both teams were trying to throw it, watch this fourth quarter.

Individual Player Breakdown: (now with bullet points!)

-Pek: Had a very Mosgov like 27&18 with 2 blocks. If he keeps this up he could one day be the third string center on the Denver Nuggets.

-Rickey: Rickey looked great. Only took four shots (hitting one) but got 9 pts. on Freebees. He opened the game with a sweet half court oop to AK off the tip. There were a couple of times that he'd drive and be in a scoring situation and try to force a pass or an alley oop to a less then hoppy teamate (AK) or to Dwill, nither of those worked out. If he can get to the point where he can score from the floor just a little bit, he will be sooooo nasty.

-AK: He has the craziest game. Not a scorer but had 15 pts. on 8 shots. Not a facilitator but when he had to leave in the third after being bloodied, the offense looked grinding. Not a shot blocker but had 3 blocks. Dude is weird.

-DWill Turned the corner! Again!: Dwill, who has spent the last 12 months running around the worlds largest hectogon, had a great first half proving once and for all that he gets the NBA game and is a superstar in the making, until the next time he goes 1-6 on dunks. 35 minutes, 17 points, 8 rbs, 2-4 from three. Great game from the lion. He was hitting open mid range shots instead of mud running. All around good show from Dwill.

-Luke: Did ok. He can not guard in the post. Holiday would get it down low and back in. Luke would do that thing where he wanted to get a charge but didn't want to fall down so he sort of half heatedly flailed his arms and stumbled back a few steps. Holiday would then just turn around, asses the situation, wonder why Luke was standing on the other side of the hoop from him, wonder if he was playing basketball or if someone was dreaming he was playing basketball, make a sexy wink face followed by crude hand gesture to a lady in the crowd, receive an angry text message from his mother stating that she had raised him better than that, apologize to the young woman, and then score an uncontested bucket.

-Shved: meh

-Chris Johnson: DNP-CD. I miss you CJ.

Over all a frustrating game that showed how good this team can be and also how terrible it can be. Ricky and Adleman both think we can still make the playoffs. I don't. I'm not even sure I'd want to because that would lessen the value of our first round pick that we could trade for a restricted FA center that is currently getting a solid 8 minutes a game in order to replace pek. uhg. I was going to write about how Taylor isn't cheap, he just doesn't seem to understand money, but now I just want to go to bed. maybe later. Thanks for reading true believers!

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Canis Hoopus

You must be a member of Canis Hoopus to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Canis Hoopus. You should read them.

Join Canis Hoopus

You must be a member of Canis Hoopus to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Canis Hoopus. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.