Because lord only knows I don't feel like talking about basketball any more, I've decided to go for a new look.
I've been reading with just my left eye for a couple of years, which is a little blurry and less than ideal so I broke down and bought some reading glasses. First thing I found out is that reading glasses aren't like real glasses and you can't take them apart. Getting the unnecessary right lens out took a hammer and lots of cursing but it worked just great. But it looked weird.
I tried not to notice, but people do double takes when they see your glasses only have one lens in them. It suggests you've been fighting or can't afford new glasses. It also got me to thinking and I realized that what I really needed was . . . a monocle!
It just arrived in the mail today. They're not as easy to wear as I thought, and you have to screw your face up to make it stay in. It's that face screwing thing that makes monocle wearers always look like they just got done torturing small animals in the lab (or prisoners in the basement). I think mine looks better than that but trust me, I don't usually look quite this deranged:
Not this early in the day, anyway. And, since it's a reading monocle, it makes my right eye look huge but, in my opinion, in a sexy sort of way (symmetrical features are so 20th Century....).
It won't help me watch basketball, but suddenly the NBA's not all that appealing to me. Mostly I'm posting this for feedback. No, I have no intention of ever wearing this in public but really, does it look that weird? The whiteness is the flash reflecting back in the bathroom mirror, and not the souls of the damned circling round me.
What say you?
TMiss's monocle makes him look like:
a valued and distinguished member of the community (25 votes)
Fearless Leader (16 votes)
Class of '71, Heidelberg Polytech (21 votes)
he's absolutely deranged (20 votes)
the ultimate Canis Hoopster (29 votes)
111 total votes