MIN-LAL Musical Preview: Worst Song Ever Edition

We all hate the Lakers, right?

  • They stole our first major franchise, one that actually won championships (only the Twins now can make that claim among our pro teams).
  • They are the Yankees of the NBA - always getting the best players because they have $, glamour, and "luck." (That said, Jerry Buss was cool)
  • Kobe.

I have what I consider very broad parameters for music that I will listen to. Sure, there are things that I passionately love to hear often, but I also like being exposed to new and different sounds. Variety is the spice of life. Show tunes, punk rock, sea shanties, soft rock, hip hop, symphonies, EDM - it's all good.

But don't we all have that one song that is the Lakers of music? If it comes on the car radio, we reach out with cat-like reflexes to change the station before the first note has finished sounding. If we are in the Gap and hear it playing, we leave the store. If we never hear it again, it will be too soon.

Why? Maybe it's because it used to be okay but got played endlessly everywhere and now we're sick of it. Or maybe it was playing at prom when our crush humiliated us in front of everyone else. Maybe in a past life the singer (in his or her past incarnation) was our mortal enemy. Maybe we find it stupid or unoriginal or painfully performed or overproduced. Or maybe no particular reason other than it simply does not agree with our tastes.

Hate is a strong word. And I can't think of many songs that I truly hate. I've been thinking for the past day or two about what is my most detested song. Really can't think of many. I'm sure as a defense mechanism my memory is avoiding coming up with a list. But, I have to admit, there is one song that keeps popping in my head, so for the purposes of this post, this is officially my Worst Song Ever:

Why? I don't really know. I'm not a big fan of 80's corporate rock. That opening riff annoys the hell out of me, I don't like Jon Anderson's one dimensional voice, the lyrics are bland, etc. But it's no better or no worse than a lot of hits of that era. I know why I don't like the Lakers; why I can't tolerate "Owner of a Lonely Heart" is nothing more than instinct.

So - what is your Worst Song Ever?

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