*I said I'd made this a comment but it came out so long with so many participants that I had to do a FanPost.. There's a little reward at the bottom.*


Hey Canis Hoopus,

I know you’ve eagerly waited for the results of my poster survey. Thanks to the 62 (!!!) Canis Hoopus members who participated and gave thoughtful feedback. I appreciate it and promise to take it very seriously. Now on to the results:

Q1: I like you. Do you like me? (opens in new window)

43 of the 62 of you who answered like me almost as much as keylimekai – that’s a huge compliment since keylimekai is very popular here. It would be interesting to know how keylimekai answered that question himself. I assume it was ‘Bjork’ which is obviously also a quality answer. The 4 people (I think I know who they are) who don’t like me for national reasons – that's ok, I don't mind (as long as you’re no Ukranians).

Q2: How would you rate RBEs comments?

Wally was somewhat of a troll, but he was still one of my favorite commenters (mostly for the avatar) so I take the 26% as a big compliment too. This in addition to "awesome" tells me that the majority thinks that I’m an above replacement level poster. If more of you would only read posts that featured pictures, I would have delivered and posted a picture along with EVERY post I would make form now on. Only 7 of you ignore my non-pic posts so there’s no reason to increase my PIC%.

"Worse than that guy that only posts links to his blogposts." Was ticked by only two members…. Yeah, nice try blog post link posters… *shaking my head, rolling eyes*

Unfortunately, I don’t know whether Björk is still making music. I was hoping somebody would answer that in the comment box….

Q3: Should RBE improve his English to post on Canis Hoopus which is full of intelligent people?

One person (CJ?) ticked yes which is fine. The other ones are either too polite (Minnesota nice?) or think that maybe, I should improve my English. Okay then. Maybe, I will.

23 members agreed that Björks English is very good for somebody from a non-English Iceland. When I was a kid I thought Björk was from the UK . She's really talented.

Q4: To me, RBE is what...

See, this was a trick question. 28 members seem to be somewhat obsessed with me like CJ is with PEK and polo is with Derrick - that’s ok. 11 members don’t seem to have much faith in me, much like vjl's model doesn't have faith in Shabazz.That hurts.

Q5: On a scale of 100 (good) to 5 (bad) where would you rank RBEs first year on Canis Hoopus?

If I add the values of all the answers and divide that by the number of answers given.... I get an average 96,36. That is pretty good! I can’t quite figure out who the third asshole is. A-Hole, Jerry Buttcrack and … ???

Q6: If RBE was in town would you invite him for beer and watching Wolves game?

That’s good to hear and I will make you accountable for that. That means: When I’m in Minnesota I won't be satisfied until I get my 44th beer.

6 of you are somewhat paranoid because of the Russian thing. Okay, we can just say "hi"…. But I also might say "privet" and people in your neighborhood & your workplace might never look at you quite the same… give me a beer and I will stick to "hi".

11 guys want me to fake my identity… that’s cool, after 44 beer I’ll be whatever you want me to be.

Q7: Do you love America?

28 of you really really love America and its rich culture.

21 are honest and recognize that our Anthem is the most epic piece of sound ever. ... for those of you that wanted to ask about ‘something else’ by choosing this answer, I can assure you: Yes, it is really simple. Just grab a bucketload of government secrets and take the next flight to Moscow. You might like to bring a book along with you since check-out might take a little longer and the non-Russian speaking bookstore at DME and SVO Airports is not very diverse (they have that book by Mick Foley but I’m not sure how good the quality of a novel that was written by a guy who was hit on the head a lot can be).

15 of you want to boy cott the games. Apart from Hockey I don’t care about Winter Olympics and I wouldn't mind if your team stayed at home anyway so you might boycott them. It’s fine with me.

Now on to the User comments:

#1 – ANONYMOUS - :) – Hi Wes, how is life as a Laker?

#2 – running with timberwolves (and scissors) - Post is my favorite bjork album, and I find it kind of unsettling the degree to which she's submitted to consumer capitalism since then (the biophilia app would be the case in point). I'm offended that you didn't put a more anti-american, non-nationalist selection for question 7. also i was very confused about 4 because it should be "RBE is to [something] like X is to X"...there are some generic structures for these analogies (eg, part-whole, comparison, opposite, etc) but without knowing the first part of the question, I was left confused. Other than that, this survey is what running with timberwolves (and scissors) is to general managing. – You’re one of the few to give a view on Björk. Thank you very much for that! I didn’t want to offend anybody, just get a complete, honest picture of all your feelings towards the USA of today. Sorry about the confusion in #4! Next year I will consult CJ to make it as clear as possible. Thanks for the in-depth comment!

#3 – ANONYMOUS - This is the best and most confusing survey I've ever taken. – Thanks (I guess?)

#4 – ANONYMOUS - Become more knowledegable about nunchucks. – Team Players is that you? Hmm… I don’t know how increasing my knowledge about nunchucks should help me with becoming the best poster I can but I can’t just make a survey and not entitle myself to the results. So I read a little on nunchucks and made a PowerPoint presentation that you can download. Thanks.

Download my PowerPoint Presentation on nunchucks in .ppt format

Download my PowerPoint Presentation on nunchucks in .pptx format

#5 – E-6 - Do more Fanposts. Then you can actually post the awesome pictures rather than link to them. – Hey, E-6! If nobody is going to do twitter/instagram updates next season I might do a few posts like that and see how the resonance is! Glad that you enjoy them.

#6 – ANONYMOUS - Dude, the answers are too pigeon-holed. – Why? I think they are totally fair and give a balanced range of answers. I’m a little influenced by Russian polling methods: You can either vote the right way or not vote at all – that’s up to you. Thanks for participating!

#7 – ANONYMOUS - Honestly... who likes Bjork??? and where is that damn umlaut button on my keyboard? – Why so rude, man? Last time I saw Björk doing a festival on TV there were a good amount of people standing nearby the stage. Not all of them looked like they were waiting for the next act. Also, I am not going to get into a class struggle because of my umlaut privilege again. Just goggle "expensive umlaut keyboard". Don’t forget to install the umlaut language pack from windows.äö.

#8 – ANONYMOUS - No problems with RBE comments or posts, but also nothing to say about them, really. This is just a place I hang out at. I don't take notes. – That’s a very suspicious answer. How long have you been working for the NSA?

#9 – ANONYMOUS - Good Bjork videos? – Hit and Miss for sure, but yes, they exist.

#10 – ANONYMOUS - - Thanks for the extra effort!!!

#11 - ANONYMOUS - I am convinced that this is an NSA "survey" solely designed to assess whether my anti-capitalist mindset is sufficiently dangerous enough to put me in the TMiss category. Sadly, I may have just sneaked in under the gun... – That’s a little paranoid, isn’t it? To the extent that the NSA controls US web they sure know about this survey. I hope you ticked that you love America.

#12 – F’sLS (?) - We're very glad you're on Chaos Hopeless. Keep up the work. F'sLS – Who or what is F’sLS? Sorry for my ignorance if I can't connect that acronym to a user. Well, thanks boss! I like this place.

#13 – Malastarerta (something like that, sorry...) - Represent, you Russian champ! -Mal – Hey Mal, hope everything is good in the U of the K. You should post more often again.

#14 – ANONYMOUS - Really funny. When Bjork gives birth to Shved's baby, I hope they name it after you. If its twins, I hope they name the other one Shabazz. – You know the one named after me would become the better basketball player… while being really bad at basketball. Björk and Shved would make a nice couple though. E-6?

#15 – ANONYMOUS - Best Survey Ever – Thanks, you are Best Commentator Ever.

#16 – VoodooMagic - This is Voodoo. And I like you – That’s very nice Voodo, I like you too. I really enjoy your enthusiasm and optimism regarding the Wolves.

#17 – ANOYMOUS - - Yes! You’re doing it right. Thanks.

#18 – ANONYMOUS - Nice Survey! Would watch a Wolves game with foreigners, but stopped watching wrestling 20+ years ago. – Thanks, I put a lot of effort into the survey. It’s not like I was bored 15 minutes before the end of my work day and put in some totally random questions with stupid answers. Also, let me say how awesomely lucky all of you are to have an NBA team in your city that features Ricky Rubio and guys like Kevin Love and Nikola Pekovic. That is really huge. I would kill for that (and get away with it).

#19 – ANONYMOUS - You're great fun! – Thanks!

#20 – ANONYMOUS - Oh so Quiet has always been my favorite Bjork song. Also, this quiz was funny. – Thanks for commenting on Björk. It’s one of the songs that I know and like. I think the vid was done by Spike Jonze. Good to hear you had fun.

#21 – ANONYMOUS - How exciting, I have never 'Fertig-ed' before! – Congratulations! There’s always a first time. How do you feel? And you are right, I shouldn’t do stuff like that at work…

#22 – ANONYMOUS - Shorten your sig already! ;-) Enjoy your posts. – Sorry for the long sig lately but that solely due for marketing reasons – had to grab attention of potential survey takers. It’s shorter now! I don’t know who you are on CH but I am sure I enjoy your posts too!

#23 – ANONYMOUS - I accept donations. ;) – Maybe I don’t understand you correct, but I can’t look into your wishlist. There must be something wrong with the URL. Just tell me what you want.

#24 – deus04 - this fucking rules, nice job, good effort. here's a link to my preferred icelandic chick singer: this is deus04, btw...not a frequent poster, but you might see me around now and then – Hey deus04, yes I have noticed you of course. You had a cool colorful avatar that you changed recently, could that be right? Thanks for the suggestion, I will look into that. I also like Olöf Arnolds. Some of her songs feature Björk.

#25 – ANONYMOUS - Not a bad run for a Russian in love with that Bjork Дерьмо! – lol, extra points for you. Thank you Mr. 25, I am doing my best!

So there you have it Canis Hoopus. Thanks again for helping out. I feel like a much better poster already! I will do a little EuroBasket preview next week.

Since you went pateintly through here is Timbrwolves related reward - a picture of a super-douchy double-collar-popped 14-year-old Ricky Rubio:


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