So the Wolves played the Cats. Meh. (REPORT CARD)

Disclaimer: \!/ So the Wolves lost again in a wolfish fashion of bad rotation, no energy. It’s been another frustrating game and the Wolves won’t make the playoffs. But don’t be too sad about it. It’s just a little part of all our lives. The players themselves will be frustrated too but at the end of the day they all make lots and lots of dollars. Ricky is probably playing Mario Kart with a friend from Spain while eating Nachos right now. Kevin is shooting some advertisement with Charlize Theron and Tupac. Alexey might be doing something that he does a lot in Russia but might be semi-legal in the US. Josh should be driving around somewhere in rural USA, trying to bust a circle of wealthy satanic murderers. All there lives will be fine. So change your face tonight, make yourself a good meal (Pasta with king prawns and lemon for example), download a good movie from thepiratebay (I recommened American Cyborg) and enjoy your life. \!/



Behind their charismatic leader, the Bobcats rolled into their own town on a bus while Josh was giving lectures about the history of Charlotte from the front. What should usually be a fun game between two great teams with franchise players held back by their supporting cast turned into a serious and hard fought battle due to the situation. The Bobcats were not there to cuddle and play with the Wolves. No, by winning this game the Bobcats could have crushed the Wolves dreams of going to the playoffs for good much like Ivan Drago crushed the USA's plan to poison Asian kindergartens with spoiled Coca-Cola, after beating their General, Rocky Balboa in a fair fist fight (at least in the 15 minute Soviet version of Rocky III I saw as a child).So before the opening tip everybody knew what was up. With two flawless players like McBob and LoveKev it’s all about whose teammates crap their pants more.

And unfortunately, it was Kevin Love's teammates. I think this play on offense and the hustle back on transition sums up the game for the Wolves well:


McBob vs Love


Josh McRoberts – AAA (6 pts, 6 assts, 1 blk)

McBob is a sneaky fox who knows what he does. While his 6 assists to no turnover where impressive one might think that the 3-11from the field was an off-night for him. No, it was not, hater. It was a psychological trick to get the BobCats going for the playoffs. Playing along a superstar in McBob, the sucky Cats lose confidence in their own offensive capabilities. Thus, McBob created the illusion of having an off-night on offense and his teammates to have won this game. After the game, when McBob said to Jefferson and Gary Neal ?? "whoa guys, you guys were scoring at will! You won that one for us!", Neal X and Jefferson smiled at him with eyes as wide as that of a child who is told by its never-there but supercool dad "good job" after a piano concert at school. In the second half, McBob was all about neutralizing Love, mostly keeping him to mid-range shots in which Love went 1-51 or something. The magician led all players with +14. Good josh, Job!

KEVIN LOVE – C+ (18 pts, 6 rebs, 5 assts)
The sad king came out in god-mode as usual with 5-6 from the field in the first quarter. The bench play and being guarded by McBob drained the energy and will to lift his arms from him though and he had a brutal 2nd half in which he went 0-7. When Love can’t score, the Wolves have problems and when Love can’t rebound, the Wolves are in deep deep trouble. In 36 minutes, Love had just 6 rebounds. Not a great game by Love who didn’t get much from the guys around him either.

Jefferson vs. PEK


Al Jefferson – B- (25 pts, 16 rebs, 1 blk)

Jefferson was doing his usual role player stuff, scoring off the spacing that McBob and Gary Neal ____ created. He had a nice night quietly but watching the game, you would be surprised by his solid stat line since his impact wasn’t that noticeable.

NIKOLA PEKOVIC – C+ (8 pts, 4 rebs)
Pek played just 17 minutes before going out with an ankle injury. Ugh. In those 17 minutes you could see the Wolves tried to engage Al Jefferson and get him in foul trouble. Big Pek took 11 shots of which he only made 4. Get well soon, big Pek.

MKG vs. Corey Brewer


Michael Kidd-Gil-Christ – AA (10 pts, 9 rebs, 2 blks)
One big story of this game was the rebounding disparity. The Cats outrebounded the Wolves 54–35 and 14-5 on the offensive glass. MKG was a big reason for this with his 4 offensive boards. He was falling from the sky like Tezcatlipoca's blood on a foggy full moon night in Tamaulipas, eager to collect every rebound in existence. He also had 10 points on six shots and 2 blocks in 25 minutes. A solid effort Bobfans would like to see more often from the jaguar king.

Corey Brewer - ??
I’ll never be a fan of Corey Brewer. He’s a fun character and stuff, it’s great that he’s sheltering a GOAT but his game and the fact that we have to start him ‘for defense’ is driving me crazy so I try to ignore everything that is not a breakaway dunk.

Gerald Anderson vs. Kevin Martin


Gerald Anderson – B- (10 pts, 4 rebs)

A typical night for Gerald. Not much to see. Wishes an alien fungus fell onto his scalp.
Kevin Martin – B-/C+ (19 pts, 5 rebs, 1 asst, 1 stl)
Mart Martin scored well and didn’t take to many weird shots, especially didn’t pass up good tree pointers. But Martin is a player that frustrates me too a little, especially in the pairing with Cor Brew. I think Martin is a definite plus when he scores well but all the breakdowns he and Brew are responsible for are maddening. MADDENING. Just look at this possession:
I think Ricky got benched after that sequence.
Oh, everybody can make a mistake once in a while, right? Sure:

Kemba Walker vs. Ricky Rubio


Kemba Walker – C (7 pts, 7 assts, 3 stls)

The stop-and-pop king didn’t have a good night, taking many of his patented tough shots in which he goes from 500 m/ph to -59 m/ph in a second and pulling up from the mid-range. Seven assists to four turnovers. He still has to learn (from Josh). But he has a nice face and his name is Kemba. I can’t be disappointed in him.

Ricky Rubio – C (7 pts, 7 assts, 3 stls)
Ricky didn’t have a great night tonight but any night in which he has moar points than shots is cool I guess. Coach Adelman didn’t really seem to enjoy Rubio yesterday again and took him out in the fourth to go with a craptaculartistic Barea-Martin-Budinger lineup before inserting Rubio in again to avoid another shitstorm after a loss. Ricky looked decent to me but two long distance airballs stood out.


Bismack Biyombo – B-
There was no need for Bismack especially when Pek was out since the Wolves either played with two stretch forwards or Gorgiumack Diengombo. 3 rebounds and a block in 10 minutes is good though.

Gorgui Dieng - : - (
Poor poor Gorgui. Dieng was in for a short time in a pity attempt to stop Al Jefferson’s role player buckets. Dieng’s first call of duty against a Jefferson post-up was pretty good and almost caused a steal. Dieng seems to be so nervous out there… his second action against Jefferson was a blatant goaltend that was called and frustrated Dieng visibly. On the inbounds after that play, this happened:
He needs to chill a little. Somebody should tell him that the world is not on his shoulders. Also, I think Ricky was benched after that sequence.

JJ Barea –
No comment. But he tried to create some kind of offense on this:

Gary Neal ….. – A
So what is Gary’s family name? Neal is his middle name, right? Doesn’t he have one? That’s very confusing. Well, Gary has been quite a story. After almost shooting the Spurs to a title in last year’s final on a brutal one-on-one with LeBron, the Spurs couldn’t afford to pay the max for him and he signed with the promising Bucks. Later that night, somebody in the Bucks organization changed his mind and decided to tank this season, making Gary expendable since his hot shooting wins games on its own. The crazy Bucks traded him to the Bobcats where he is doing what he did yesterday – make shots and confuse people about his name.

Shabazz Muhammad - ??
I don’t remember much apart from some push shot and a garbage time dunkster. He had an assist which is always news. Again, he was very wide-looking which confused Al Jefferson a few times who thought he was looking into a mirror from the past when he saw the bazzy.

Cody Z – B+
Zell from Hell won the battle of the pitiful rookies against Shabazz (not very hard to do but still). Charlotte fans have been disappointed by Cody but after spending more time with McBob, Cody is starting to pick it up lately.
Last night he did a nice job on defense, as illustrated in this XandOnalyticz special by Coach Bee:



Coach Bee: "Zeller's impressive neckspan allows him to be a factor on defense. You can see perfect neck positioning by Cody Zeller here. He stays close to Rubio's driving lane with his body while cutting off the passing lane to popping Love with his neck... also, he closes the passing lane to KMart with his neck as well as putting his neck bwtween Rubio and Pekovic so that the Italian can't feed the Serb. He extends his neck high to have a good view of the whole defense. Fundamental neckwork by Z."

Christoper Dougston-McRoberts (or something) – B+

When you sign a contract with an NBA team you get a team logo sticker for your NBA coupon booklet. He’s played for all the teams in the league already which enables him to free drinks and one Panini sandwich in whatever NBA arena he plays a given night. He’s never been good at basketball but improved his athleticism and preciseness significantly after an alien fungus fell onto his head and adhered to his scalp.

Luke Ridnour – AA
It’s good to see Luke play on a team that has jerseys that fit him well. I never liked how he looked in the Wolves jersey. He looked smaller and weaker than he actually was. The Bobcats jersey is nice to him and he looks like the true basketball warrior that he is. In 14 minutes, Riddy was 3-3 from the field but also had 3 turnovers. However, el Luke had one nice scene where he evaded a trap between Rubio and LRMBHAhMB and hit a mid-range shot. People cheered for him.

Alexey Shved – B
Alexey had great seats to watch the action and was caught by the cam a few times smiling sheepishly or talking to Pek or that young trainer guy. In a typical FU move by Adelman, he let him go on the court in the last two minutes, making Shved have to shower after the game unnecessarily too.

Rick Adelman-Barea vs. Bobcats coach
Adelman seemed not to have much clue for most of the second half. He struggled to adjust to Jefferson's scorign and the scoring drought with Love strugling. Bobcats coach kept screaming all the time which could be heard very clearly on the Bobcats feed. He seemed to mostly navigate MKG on defense.

That's it, have a good evening and may the Josh be with you.

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