1. State in a televised interview that he is in favor of Analytics: "I’ve gotten a colonoscopy every year since turning fifty".
2. Discovers Bud Grant played in NBA, offers him head coaching job. Rescinded during reference check when Grant’s birthplace is exposed as Superior, WI.
3. Use two 2nd round picks to draft DeAndre Kane and Melvin Ejim from Iowa State to make Target Center feel like home for Fred Hoiberg
5. With picks 11 & 13, draft Gary Harris and Adreian Payne of Michigan State, to make Target center feel like home for Tom Izzo
6. Trade Ricky Rubio for Mike Miller and Randy Foye.
7. Hire bogus historian to reinterpret Kensington Runestone as documenting Kevin Love’s ancestors as originating in Detroit Lakes in 1362.
8. Trades Shabazz Mohammed and the 2nd Randy Foye to Philadelphia 76’s for a second round pick.
9. Drafts Patric Young of Florida in an attempt to attract Billy Donovan to Target Center.
10. Offers to trade three 2nd round picks and cash to University of Minnesota for rights to Richard Pitino.