Kids, don't you do this

I am seizing upon this moment of great turmoil within the Canis Hoopishphere to share this moment of great beeritude. The village of which I live near, is losing its beer store. It has a name but in a village names have little import and besides I have no clue what it is other than as of July 1st it will no longer be. Serving that is. Or selling. The consequences of which are a sale and the risk of less than fresh acquisition.

Yes, I'm probably past the point of being able to drive safely, but that's entirely within the zone of writing well. He said, maybe less than convincingly — and did you know that you can fanpost without a license or blowing into a straw? But the less none the therefore t'would be seemly to proceed. Toward the point of which I had one. Once.

A man who is losing his beer store is a man who will split a six at least six ways. Two sixes for $20 and the devil take the stale ones as I always say despite knowing the devil's in the fact that I'm the only applicant for the consumption. Therewith. And so forth.

Grade the first: Bitter Woman IPA (Tyranena Brewing Co., LOCAL). A. Should get a plus but I hate being called a homer. Grapefruity, almost as good as Bell's Hopslam at half the price if not quite the alcoholicity.

Grade the second: Hop Czar, Imperial IPA (Bridgeport). C. Disappointing and thin, but possibly kept in stock too long.

Grade the starting to get there: Snake Hollow IPA (Potosi Brewing Co.). B+. Challenging like an IPA should be but in charge of my palate within a fourth of the bottle. Gave me the courage to open another.

Grade the disappointment: Lucky U the IPA (Breckinridge). D+. Past its prime which, for an IPA, should be a non sequitur. Offensive, but not bold, disappointing by any other name.

Commercial grade: Double Agent IPA (Sam Adams). D. Without the label I wouldn't have been sure it was beer. Bland and without imagination. I didn't expect much but was still disappointed. Meh.

Really green label: IPA (with an eye in the I — far I) IPA (Lakefront Brewery, Inc.). Highly anticipated if only because I had to finish that Sam @#%$! Adams to get here. And gotten here I have because even bad beer contains alcoholicolBURPiscol. Icity. But seriously, I had to hit on some Berry-Purple Urkel blend just to force the Sam Adams down.F'real, noshit. Fuck me. But I mean that in the best of all possible drafty ways. Which beer was this? RIght! Lakefront which I'm guessin g menas sCHiicago. (Hey, the pharma's good and the alcohol ols adds up). Actually it sucks writing this one while I'm still choking down that Sam Adams but like don't totally beleive what other peopelees wirte, you know? Damn, chugged the rest of that bottle wasn't — no, it was half bad and half terrible. EReally good beer is not a mass event. So now, seriously, the India Pale Ale without a name from Lakefront (which really needs to work on its marekting.Opened with a bottle opener that has magnetically clung to the same metal pole as when I first played poker in this room ()2014?-1977) thirty years ago. (Ok, too much history) Fruitilicious! A+++ if only because anything would taste good after a Sam adamS., [symmetry, typesetting ±— the whole Edward Gorey thing before people knew he could draw}{{.

Tomorrow: the Other Sixe. Tell uyor friends.

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