We've all been there. A long night out after honky tonking somewhere way out in West Central Texas, hitting the clubs, feeling sorry for yourself, picking a bar fight, having too much at the wedding, and watching your favorite professional basketball team continue to pioneer its studies of suckitude. It's morning in Minnesota. Join me, won't you, for a quick trip through some classic country drinking songs that will help cure any Minnesota Flipperwolves fan of their painful, no-good Flipover.
Let's ease into this bad boy with a hipster mash up of a classic Floyd Tillman ditty: Beck and Willie Nelson playing the living hell out of Driving Nails in My Coffin. Beck. More country, please. Stop trying to be Nick Drake and give in to your inner Willie.
OK, before we continue, we should probably talk about just how many Merle, George or Hank Jr. songs we're going to have on this list. We could go 20 deep with Mr. Jones alone. Let's agree to a 3-song limit. 3 strikes and you're out, right? Take it away Merle.
Y'all. Did you know there was this dude named Faron Young? Now you do. Let him wine you up.
F**k yeah. Let's go get drunk again and fight some punk ass hillbillies out by Lake Nasworthy. Come on, Texas. You wan't some?
Oh. Where were we? Oh. Whiskey. Take it away, Timmy.
(Check out the Jason Eady version if you get the chance.)
Ladies. Where you at!
OK, let's keep this thing rolling. Grab a bar stool, head on down to First Avenue with this on your headphones and some liquid courage in your flask and...pasadsfl;aksdfj a
Don't hate the stupid video. That song has mad game. Not all newbie country artists are straight up hacks. Nashville can still knock a gimmick song straight out the park, yo.
That being said, it's hard to beat the originals.
Alrighty, now. Second wind. We got this. Kevin Love should want to play here, right? Flip was teh right on the Danny B show about wannin to play for money and it's his responsibility and y'all stop looking at the thinga when tyou need HOWWWWLLLLLALSDF!!?
Guys. I got this. I'M OK! IT'S ALL GOOD!
Do you think Sam Mitchell will be a good coach in waiting? I wonder if he scares Glen with his firm handshakes.
Spend all my check on some ol wreck. A Flipperwolves fans' lament:
Oh, Emmylou. Stop it.
Hey, y'all. Just a few more, ok?
STRAIGHT OUTTA OAK RIDGE MO-FOS!!!
Somebody needs to tell Mr. Paycheck that Colorado done got itself some new Kool Aid:
Dude, did he just say something about Mexicans? Hooboy. Call a cab.
I think I drank so much I've sobered up. None of it is working. Papa Glen put Flip in charge of hiring Flip? Where are we, right?
Guys. I might be a bit hammered but you didn't think I'd let this dude slide, right?
Lordy. Flip, Glen, no more Kevins. There's only 1 way to finish this bad boy up.