FanPost

Canis Culinary Adventures NBA style

I was inspired by Average Jer and his Asia adventure and I tried the most famous dishes from all the NBA cities. Prolly you think I stole this idea from Jer. I'm a grown ass man in the REAL WORLD. It's called benchmarking in the real world. I'm benchmarking.

I'm not much of a reader, so the recipes were probably better than the food. Not all the NBA cities are listed because some of them are Indianapolis and Sacaramento so unless you really needed a review of corn and psssh--yeah, I don't know, then we'll all agree some editing wasn't the worst thing.

Charlotte - Carolina style hamburgers. These are like regular hamburgers but with coleslaw on top. It's pretty hard to screw up a hamburger, so kudos to the carolinas for figuring out how to do that. I had a burger with peanut butter on it and even that was amazing.

Milwaukee - Brats. I got these from Hackenmuellers in Robbinsdale. So good. Kraut, mustard. Milwaukee is the leader in the clubhouse. Why don't more people like Milwaukee? It should be like a mecca since all the rest of America is as fat as Wisconsin now. #ain'tnoshameinthisgame

Cleveland - The Cleveland Steamer. Like Fear the Sword and Cleveland fans in general, I can't believe this is a real thing. But google made it seem like it was a thing. If I'm being totally honest, and I feel like we're in a safe circle here, I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would. It was earthy. #somethingnew

Phoenix - Sand. Yeah, no one should live in the desert. There is no native food there. Or water. Or shade. #deserted

Milwaukee - Brats. I got these from Hackenmuellers in Robbinsdale. So good. Kraut, mustard. Milwaukee is the leader in the clubhouse. Why don't more people like Milwaukee? I can't believe you're still reading the second Milwaukee post. Good job by you, yes the second post was intentional. Way to trust hotsportstake that nothing is what it seems and eveything has two meanings. Like kick to the crotch. #goodjobbyyou

Philadelphia - Philly Cheesesteak. I cheated a little here, I had to go to Philly for work and I got a cheesesteak there. The cheesteaks are fine. I got mine at a little local place called The Subway. To be honest, it didn't taste much different than what you could get here. #C+maybeB-

Chicago/Miami/sometimes Boston/Corey Brewer's Garage - GOAT. Look, I admit there's something here I jsut don't get. An inside joke of some kind? People keep talking about goats like they are a real thing. Like there's a bunch of half-man/half-animal pan flute players wandering the globe. But, I was at an Ethiopian restaurant and there was goat on the menu (no caps?). You know that South Park episode where an elephant makes love to a pig? This is prolly what that baby would taste like. #terrific

Denver - Brownies. I didn't like this at first and then a little later I thought it was AMAZING. #rockymountainhigh

Los Angelets - IN and Out burger. I made my in and out burger also from meat from Hackenmueller's. I ate it, spit it out and then ate it again. I have no idea why this is appealing to LA, but it was still delicious. How can you screw up a burger? - - - I'm looking a YOOOOUUUU Carolinas... #iloveLA

Dallas - Strip mall food. Dallas wishes the answer was bar-b-cue. The answer is strip mall food. I had some strip mall sushi and it was better than I thought but somehow, even though it was sushi, it was still fatty and salty. #wut?

Mempis - Bar-B-Cue sauces - There's another inside joke here that I don't get. Chris Broussard has a resturant there or something? BBQ is awesome. #ribs-nojokehere-ribsaregreat

New Orleans - Gumbo. No one should ever joke about gumbo. Gumbo should be available like Coke. #skrimps

New Yourk - The Big Apple. Right, so I went to Byerly's to their produce section - isn't that the best? Anyway, I asked for like their biggest apple and dude brought out like this huge apple and I ate it and it was just an apple. But later that night, I don't know, I guess it was too much fiber. I was up all night. That must be why it's the city that doesn't sleep. #colonblow

This was a lot to eat yesterday, so Imma call it quits for now. Check back soon for the next installment. #thereisnonexttime