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Diary of a Madman - Mocking the Draft


Kevin's Journal:

"June 3, 2008 -

I hate this time of year! So much busy work to do, it makes my head hurt. All these fans and blogs, thinking they know more than I do about evaluating players. Have they ever stepped foot on an NBA court, other than to participate in a halftime event? Or played for a championship? Not likely. Numb nuts, all of them. Worse still, now that we re-signed with KFAN, I'll have to go back on their radio from time to time and talk to those --what do they call their audience--rubes? Well, I'll talk to PA and Dubay, maybe even Hartman, but NOT Barreiro. I am not an ostrich, stork, or whatever he used to call me and Flip. (Too bad about Flipper, btw...hah! I've got your offense, right here.)

So now, I've got this draft list that Babcock and Hoiberg put in front of me, and I have to spend the next couple of weeks--again--looking at all these posers and wannabees who think they could wear my jock strap. Are any of these guys named Bird, Johnson or Parish? I don't think so. Not only does it cut into my outdoors time, but I have to listen--endlessly--to these sycophant agents with their slicked back hair, Blackberrys and iPhones, telling me how their 19 or 20 year old is going to help a ring. Good thing the weather's been crappy, or I'd be even in a worse mood. Damn liberals and their whole global warming thing.

Anyway, I know who I'm drafting. Jim Pete gave me a Brian Wilson CD called "Smile" as a Xmas present, and I can't get a phrase from Heroes and Villains out of my head:

'I've been in this town so long
So long to the city
I'm fit with the stuff
To ride in the rough...

Not only does that describe me to a T, but what was it Saint Paul had on the way to Damascus? Epiphany, I think they call it.  I had a real, honest to goodness epiphany. Check it out:  Heroes and Villians...Boston and Los Angeles...Brian Wilson...former Beach Boy...Mike Love...UCLA...Kevin Love.  It all fits. Come to think of it though, Los Angeles could have meant USC...mayonnase is my favorite condiment...Bill Duffy was my favorite agent...OJ Mayo fired Bill Duffy...ah, screw it.

I hate this time of year!"