Target Field, the sparkling new home of the Twins, is the biggest story that's currently buzzing about town. Awed fans and breathless media can't stop talking about the beauty of Minneapolis's new downtown ballpark - and especially about the many special touches in the new stadium. Things like the original Met Stadium flagpole on the right-field plaza, or the stadium gates numbered after retired Twins numbers, have been almost universally admired.
With this in mind, I started wondering what some of the equivalent features would be for the Timberwolves. Below, a (rather facetious) look at how the Wolves could bring a bit of Target Field into the Target Center.
Target Field Feature: Original Minneapolis Lakers floor is part of left-field Townball Tavern bar
Eqivalent Target Center Suggestion: Patch of Met Center ice in hallway outside visiting locker room
They could even use the North Stars' old icemaking formula: two parts water, one part Gump Worsley sweat.
Target Field Feature: Pine trees in center-field batters eye
Eqivalent Target Center Suggestion: Pine trees in front of Timberwolves hoop
Let's face it: the pine trees would be more active on defensive rotations than Al Jefferson.
Target Field Feature: Original Met Stadium flagpole outside right field
Eqivalent Target Center Suggestion: Elgin Baylor outside main entrance
A link to the Lakers' past, and he's not doing anything except for suing Donald Sterling right now, anyway. (Plus, the other option is letting Sid Hartman basically run the team.)
Target Field Feature: Metropolitan Club color scheme recalls Met Stadium colors
Eqivalent Target Center Suggestion: Club Cambria color scheme recalls Metrodome colors
Lurid blue, for the empty upper-deck seats. Inky red, to memorialize Bill Mussleman and all the rules he broke as a Gophers coach. Shocking white, for Randy Breuer and Brad Lohaus. Vomitous brown, for Lohaus's jump shot.
Target Field Feature: All gates numbered after a Twins superstar
Eqivalent Target Center Suggestion: All gates numbered 21
Twenty years on... and KG is all we have.
Target Field Feature: LEED-certified - the "greenest ballpark in America"
Eqivalent Target Center Suggestion: "The least congested basketball stadium in America"
When you think about it, how many tons of vehicle-related air pollution are saved each year by teams with 15-67 records?
Target Field Feature: Original 1961 Twins logo in center field lights up when the Twins hit a home run
Eqivalent Target Center Suggestion: Original Timberwolf shakes head sorrowfully after every turnover
Poor Jonny Flynn may give the voltage to this sign a real workout.
I'm sure you have your own...