Here it is folks, the last top pick before Clippergeddon. Did you ever in a hundred years think that a franchise that has never moved up in the lottery, and that has never landed the top pick, and that has won a combined 32 games over the past two seasons would be in a position where there is legitimate speculation that should they buck two historical trends they might trade away their long-sought-after booty? Well, on the bright side of things, should they finally break through with the lotto and trade the pick, they just might be on the cusp of something even more historic: 3 consecutive sub-20 win seasons! Onward and upward, I always say.
Anywho, despite all of that, let's think positive thoughts today. After all, today from 12:01 AM to 7:29 PM is pretty much the best time to be a Wolves fan. It's our glory (half) day. Some suggestions:
- Walk around work like you own the place. Brag about how your favorite team is going to land the best player in college basketball and take the NBA world by storm during the 2011/12 season.
- Talk s#$t about the Twins.
- Point out how lovely the Sanford Health sign looks out there in right field.
- Drink some milk. Say the word "Vikings". Snort milk through nose. Ask Vikings fans if they look forward to having the only NFL stadium to be built on a Superfund site.
- Imagine that your favorite team is led by someone who actually knows what he is doing.
- Mutter to yourself "Kahn" and then let loose a wry smile, knowing full well that this will all be a funny cosmic joke in a few years.
- Photoshop pictures of Kyrie Irving in a black Wolves uniform and email them to your North Carolina-loving friends.
- Photoshop pictures of Kyrie Irving in a black Wolves uniform and a big bold heading that says "Derrick who?" or "The REAL rosy future". Post pictures to Blog-a-Bull. Make sure to post pics next to several trade proposals that include Jonny Flynn and Joakim Noah.
- Talk some more s%*t about the Twins. Make sure to work in a few "bi-lateral (insert word) weakness" jokes.
- (Most importantly) Quietly tell HR that you will likely have to take the day off tomorrow. Either you will be too hungover due to the celebration of the #1 pick, you will be too hungover due to the celebration of the #1 pick and the quick realization that David Kahn is an incompetent and will trade said pick, or you will be too shamed by your pre-7:30 actions to come in and face up to your one glory day of insufferability.
Enjoy the day...well, enjoy it until 7:30.
Until later.