Land in Dallas today. They say "everything bigger in Texas". This makes me angry because I bigger than everything! Will challenge Texas to death match after game.
Went to restaurant with team. There was a big fire with meat cooking in middle of restaurant. Just like mother makes at home and I very excited to eat. They put red sauce on meat. I thought maybe it was blood paste but when I take my first bite, it very sweet. Too sweet for blood paste. Server says it bar-b-que sauce. I want to tear off his arm and use his blood but Andrei says I shouldn't. My nose start running.
Visit place called ranch in afternoon. I see a "Texas Longhorn". It remind me of sister. They offer fried bull testicles to team. Luke throw up. He like fragile little bird. I eat too many but it okay. I won't have chance to eat fried balls tonight. Kaman balls are tiny and hide in his body when he face me. HA HA HA. Kaman like fragile bird.
My nose start running again and I know it time to kill. I leave hotel and go to arena.
Bloodlust high during quarter 1. I take orange ball and put in basket. Kaman very scared. He keep trying to get away from me. Take fadeaway. Take bad shot. I hunt him down and put hand in face. Andrei make shot too. I like him. May knight him after game. Like his tattoo.
Quarter 2 the same. Kaman start crying and tell me to stop hurting him. Probably his vagina hurt. HA HA HA. I take ball and put through basket more. Coach puts Steimer in game. I sit down and talk to Kevin Love. He tell me how he really break hand. He punched wall. I punch wall all the time. It part of my workout. Don't know why his bones so weak.
Half time. Coach Rick tell me to keep killing. My nose is like mountain stream.
Kaman play better. Fool me with move. I get angry and poke his eye. That is my warning. Next time I take his left arm and will to live. Rest of quarter go good. Dante make basket and run around. Andrei dunks and pass between legs. Coach Rick keeps Derrick on bench. Me happy.
And then ankle turns wrong way. I so angry. Want to kill ankle. Want to teach it lesson. Coach takes me to locker room and I look for bone knife to stab ankle. How you make me look weak ankle? Love, Rubio, JJ, Chase, Roy, and now me? How this happen? Now we have to play Derrick. I so angry at ankle.
I watch rest of game from locker room. Trainer says stabbing ankle will not help. He make it numb instead with ice. Must get back to play Cats of Charlotte. Team does good without me. Russians do Russian things. I will knight Andrei and make Alexey his page. Derrick make turnovers but also some free throws. Amundson terrible. And needs haircut.
But team wins. 5-2 now. I will be back soon. Drink milk of tiger and blood of bear to gain strength. Go back to Minnesota to fight Charlotte to the death.
Goodbye Texas. I will have my death match next time.