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It's Time for Canis Hoopus Preseason Predictions!

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Welcome to opening week in the NBA. Our long summer of manufactured subjects is almost over. Games start for real on Tuesday, and the Wolves open on Wednesday. We're nearly there gang.

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One more NBA-less night and then it begins. Games to watch. Stats to track. Stories to follow. Lakers to hate.

That's right, welcome to opening week in the NBA. We made it.

And now we need to make some predictions. So here we go:

Wolves wins:

Wolves finish in West:

8 West playoff teams:

8 East Playoff teams:

Worst record/Best Tanker:

How many wins for best tanker:

Best Picture Oscar:

Finals matchup:

NBA Champions:

League MVP:

Wolves 3 point %:

Will the Unicorn lead league in assists:

Will Kevin Love make All-star team:

Over/under games played for Big Pek:

Over/under Wolves games played for Shabazz Muhammad:

Most likely Wolf to be traded during season:

Biggest (positive) Wolves surprise:

Biggest Wolves disappointment:

Biggest (positive) surprise team:

Biggest league disappointment:

Will Arsenal ever lose another league match dammit:

First team All-NBA:

We need a CH theme song for the season:

What else ya got?