Wolves Announce Promotional Schedule for 2015-16 Season

If you're interested in aligning one of your trips to Target Center with one of the team's promotional or theme nights this season, than you're in luck. I've come to tell you about said promotions.

Minneapolis/St. Paul - The Minnesota Timberwolves announced today the team's promotional schedule for the 2015-16 season that includes a series of five collectible player bobbleheads. In addition to the bobblehead nights, the team will also host several themed game nights including a Star Wars night in advance of the highly anticipated release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens^TM in December.

For each bobblehead game, the first 5,000 fans who enter the arena will receive the collectible. The first bobblehead night, featuring Andrew Wiggins, will be held on Thurs., Nov. 12 when the Wolves take on defending NBA Champion Golden State at 7 p.m.

Alright, let's take a look at the schedule along with my instant, very serious analysis.

Thurs., Nov. 5 vs. Miami: 2015-16 schedule poster giveaway, presented by Star Tribune

Analysis: Who doesn't like posting the Wolves full schedule up on the wall of their office cubicle. You can stare at it for a few minutes while waiting for Voodoo Magic or Carl006 to cook up a new trade idea in ESPN's Trade Machine.

Tues., Nov. 10 vs. Charlotte: Military Appreciation Night, presented by POPP Communications

Analysis: Always a special night to give thanks.

Thurs., Nov. 12 vs. Golden State: Andrew Wiggins Bobblehead Night, presented by CherryBerry

Analysis: Should've been presented by Mattress Depot, you know, because of his nickname*.

*Sleepy

Tues., Dec. 15 vs. Denver: Star Wars Night

Analysis: I'm expecting an email from Key any minute now requesting our seat at this game.

Wed., Dec. 23 vs. San Antonio: Ugly Sweater Night

Analysis: One of the better theme nights. Everybody has butt ugly sweaters they can wear to participate. If not, stop by your local Savers sometime soon. They can hook you up with something really frightening.

Sat., Dec. 26 vs. Indiana: Karl-Anthony Towns Bobblehead Night, presented by U.S. Bank

Analysis: Since Towns has a higher ceiling than Anthony Davis, according to David Thorpe, you'll probably want to show up early for this one to secure your Big KAT bobblehead. With all of the positive momentum, Towns really should run for President.

Sat., Jan. 23 vs. Memphis: Zach LaVine Bobblehead Night

Analysis: If Zach is still playing point guard by this date, there's probably going to be little LaVine heads scattered around Target Center. You know, because fans are going to angrily rip them off after Mike Conley toasts him in the pick-and-roll about five straight times before Mitchell calls a rage timeout and goes back to Rubio.

Mon., Feb. 8 vs. New Orleans: Fat Monday

Analysis: Now I know what the Zulu Lundi Gras Festival is.

Sat., Feb. 20 vs. New York: Ricky Rubio Bobblehead Night, presented by CherryBerry

Analysis: CherryBerry has had their stamp all over Wolves' games for years, yet I've never actually been to one. Anyway, I'm predicting Rubio goes for the triple-double on this special night. Seriously, who doesn't want Rubio's bobblehead? Stop lying to yourself.

Sat., March 5 vs. Brooklyn: Crunch's Birthday, presented by Delta Dental

Analysis: Crunch's birthday game is always fun. The team plays witty videos on the scoreboard and Crunch puts on a show throughout the night. If you have young kids, I'd recommend taking them to this game. The youngins will enjoy it.

Tues., March 8 vs. San Antonio: Latino Night

Analysis: Of all the promotional/theme nights, Latino Night is the obvious outlier.

Sat. March 26 vs. Utah: PEEPS Night with a post-game candy pass out, presented by Just Born Quality Confections, the makers of PEEPS®, MIKE AND IKE® and HOT TAMALES®

Analysis: I really hate PEEPS. They are gross. I refuse to eat them and all rulings are final. I also can't wait to hear the arena MC's say all of that promotional junk.

Wed., March 30 vs. L.A. Clippers: Unilever Sustainability Night with a post-game Unilever product pass out

Analysis: Sustainability is very important, which is why I always recycle my beer cans.

Wed., April 13 vs. New Orleans: Gorgui Dieng Bobblehead Night/Fan Appreciation Night

Analysis: Ah, the classic 2-for-1 promotional night bargain. Not only do you get G's bobblehead, but everybody in attendance must appreciate you. That's a fact.