Wolves Fan Fest

The Timberwolves are hosting a Fan Fest on Tuesday at the friendly confines. I assume this means a fest for fanatics, rather than a display of electronic products. My hope is that the only fan there will be the one gently blowing on Ricky’s new haircut. Here’s the official press clipping:

Minneapolis/St. Paul – The Timberwolves announced today that they will host “Wolves Fan Fest” at Target Center on Tuesday, October 18. The event, which is free and open to the public, will give fans their first look at the 2016-17 roster.

Doors will open at 6:00 p.m. with the team taking the floor at 7:00 p.m. Wolves Fan Fest requires securing a ticket in advance, which fans can obtain by visiting timberwolves.com.

The Wolves home opener is set for Tuesday, November 1 at 7:00 p.m. against the Memphis Grizzlies. Single-game tickets are currently on sale at timberwolves.com or by calling 612-673-1234.

The event drew a capacity crowd last year. With the excitement levels turned up to eleven for 2016/2017, I can’t imagine what it’s going to look like this year. Get your tickets, people! They’re free! Make this non-Minnesota based blogger extremely jealous by recounting stories of Fan Fest amazingness!

Details on exactly what’s going to happen are somewhat vague. Yes, you’ll get a first look at the roster. There will probably be some fan interactions, however, without hard details, one’s imagination can run a bit wild. According to the Vegter21 research labs, here’s the official-imaginary itinerary:

6:00 - Fans arrive. Fellow Canis readers find each other among the throngs of fanatics. Hugs ensue.

6:30 - Crunch and a special guest repel from the ceiling while DJ Mad Mardigan drops the beat. Special guest? Non-other than one Kevin Maurice Garnett.

6:40 - Garnett and a special guest lead fans in the Skol chant. Special guest? Nikola Pekovic, beating his own, hand-crafted war drum.

6:50 - DJ Mad Mardigan drops the beat again. A undercover Jiggly Boy appears, salutes KG, and successfully completes the long awaited trilogy.

7:00 - The 2016/2017 Minnesota Timberwolves roster arrives.

7:05 - Kris Dunn, wearing a bedazzled Justin Bieber backpack/t-shirt combo, sings an acapella version of “What Do You Mean?” to the crowd. He’s surprisingly good.

7:15 - Zach LaVine has a dunk contest against the Timberwolves Slam Squad. LaVine wins.

7:30 - Andrew Wiggins has a dance off against the Timberwolves Dancers. Wiggins wins. He then performs his new smash single “Getting Wiggy with it.”

7:45 - Bjelica smiles.

7:50 - Sir Karl-Anthony of Towns knights Gorgui Dieng, welcoming him as a defender of House Kentucky.

8:00 - Tom Thibodeau, who’s been fuming throughout the sideshow of the last hour, finally gets his wish and starts practice. Wind sprints ensue.

8:30 - Wind sprint cease. Tom sprinkles his magic defense dust over everyone. Ricky sneezes adorably.

9:00 - Thibs reluctantly ends practice. The Wolves bid farewell to the fans. Ricky hugs everyone in the stands.

9:15 - Fans begin to file out of the Target Center. They’re happy, exhausted, and brimming with excitement and anticipation for November 1.

Now, that may not be exactly what happens, but how would you know if you don’t attend? Get out there people! Let this team know how much you care.