Congratulations! If you’re currently reading this, you have successfully survived the dog days of NBA summer and, like me, are anxiously awaiting the Wolves first meaningful basketball game in 196 days (but who’s counting.) As the preseason comes to a close and the roster gets trimmed down to fifteen, we at Canis Hoopus wanted to compile a quick list of each player’s top social media accounts (if available) and provide a short synopsis of what to expect. Without further ado...
What to expect: Remember this past June when LeBron had that certain block, Kyrie hit that certain shot, and hoops enthusiasts around the world (including other NBA players) attempted to fully grasp what they had just witnessed? Amidst the social media chaos were three short yet powerful tweets from the account of a 20-year old kid from New Jersey:
I need that feeling.— Karl-Anthony Towns (@KarlTowns) June 20, 2016
I won't stop till I get that feeling.....multiple times #promise— Karl-Anthony Towns (@KarlTowns) June 20, 2016
One ain't good enough for me— Karl-Anthony Towns (@KarlTowns) June 20, 2016
Although the Cleveland Cavaliers had just pulled off the greatest comeback in NBA history, one could argue the most excited fanbase in the world at that exact moment was Wolves nation. A professional athlete promising to not stop until he delivers multiple championships to the state of Minnesota?! No, YOU’RE running laps around your kitchen! Sprinkle in Snapchat stories of playing NBA2K, kissing baby tigers, and live tweeting major sporting events, and you have all the makings of a superstar on the court as well as off it.
What to expect: While everyone was focused on the summer additions of Tom Thibodeau, Cole Aldrich, and Brandon Rush, one key transaction for the Wolves franchise seemingly went under the radar: Andrew Wiggins adopted a puppy.
A new dog, a new signature shoe, a new coach, and an impressive K/D ratio on Call of Duty? I’ve followed people for less!
What to expect: If you put aside the differences in verticals, yearly earnings, and celebrity contacts in our phones, Zach LaVine seems like the most relatable dude on the team. The 21-year old gym rat from Renton, Washington simply loves “being in the lab,” even building a makeshift Mayo Clinic practice facility in his parents backyard.
Whether it be early morning workouts, late night shooting sessions, or highlights of superhuman dunks from his last game, the back-to-back defending dunk champion loves sharing highlights of his craft on social media as he continues the grind of his NBA journey.
What to expect: OK, listen. As the 2nd longest tenured Wolves player on the roster (behind Pek), you’ve had ample time to follow Rubio on all of his accounts. If you haven’t, go now. Seriously. I’ll wait.
OK perfect. With no public Snapchat and a fairly tame and flavorless Twitter account, the prize here is clearly Rubio’s Instagram account. Hanging out with his family in Spain, attending Vikings games with KAT, and a few motivational quotes make this account a must follow. Oh, and there’s also this:
What to expect: Following Shabazz has its positives and its negatives. The positive? As the fashionista of the group, Bazz loves posting pics of his latest swag, including what appears to be a never-ending supply of Yeezys.
The negative? Mirror selfies. Way, way too many mirror selfies. #StopMirrorSelfies
What to expect:
Need I say more?
What to expect: The rookie out of the University of Providence is new not only to the NBA, but also to social media. With only a handful of tweets and roughly 110 posts on Instagram, there isn't much going on socially with Kris Dunn. Nevertheless, the first-round pick does gives brief insights to his new life (new house, new car, etc.) while consistently paying respect to his late mother by including “R.I.P. Mommy” in most of his tweets and Instagram posts. Mad respect. Finally, if you have hair and live in the Minneapolis area, it's not too late to show the rookie some love and direct him to your favorite clipper.
Whose The Best Barber In Minnesota?? Time To Get Right....— Kris Dunn (@KrisDunn3) July 17, 2016
What to expect: The 2016 NBA Summer League MVP and Apple Valley’s own seems like a perfect human being, mainly posting photos of his community service, videos from local youth camps, and updates on his younger brother Tre Jones (who knows how to dribble a basketball a little bit himself.) If you’re looking for a red flag, there is a (Cameron) crazy amount of Duke-related content, but a mixture of team selfies and an assortment of custom Kyrie’s helps soothe the (Cameron) blues.
What to expect: The other homegrown player on the roster, Aldrich seems like a simple man who love three things: his wife, traveling, and playing basketball. No complaints there. He also seems to be an avid “Dumb and Dumber” enthusiast, so again, no complaints. Finally, with all do respect to the Pekovic/Galifianakis bromance, it appears the big man from Burnsville, Minnesota may have his own budding relationship with a Hollywood celebrity.
What to expect: Imagine being really good at something, getting paid millions to do it, and the only caveat is you have to move to a different country. Now add in a few iPhone apps to document that lifestyle and you have the core ingredients for Belly’s accounts. No longer a rookie, expect Professor Big Shots to produce more pictures of team dinners, retweets of his favorite Canis articles (shoutout to John Meyer), and potentially an actual photo with star of “The Shining,” rather than simply a photo with his cement foot prints.
What to expect: Call it a gut feeling, but I think Brandon Rush leads the team this year in “did you see (insert player name)’s snapchat story of (insert hilarious prank) on the team plane?” Toss in some #ThrowbackThursdays from his Kansas days and music reviews of the latest hiphop releases, and you have all the makings of a Grade-A follow.
What to expect: With an Instagram account full of selfies and pics of his children, there’s not a ton of flare flooding from the account of the self-proclaimed dreadheadjizzle; however, at the ripe age of 29, if Jordan Hill can’t carve out a consistent role on this Wolves team, it appears he clearly possesses all the necessary tools to become a synchronized diver for the 2020 Olympics.
What to expect: With only fourteen tweets in 2016, Major Payne clearly isn't a big tweeter; however, he did recently tweet out a partnership with Arby’s in an effort to fight childhood hunger, and I support anyone who 1) tries to help combat childhood hunger and 2) enjoys Arby’s roast beef sandwiches. Disclaimer: the Spartan alum does have a private Instagram account, but with 67,000 followers, I’m guessing he’s fairly lenient with who he lets tag along.
John Lucas III
What to expect: The 4th PG on the roster and son of John Lucas II, JLIII uses social media similar to how my dad would use it if he were a professional athlete - a mixed bag of motivational quotes found on any Google image search and supportive tweets of his father’s foundation (John Lucas Enterprises). The 13-year journeyman out of Oklahoma State also seems to be a huge fan of memes, which is certainly enough in my book to keep the veteran on the roster and on my timeline. #MemeTeam
What to expect: In addition to Pek’s “off the court” status for this upcoming season, it appears the big fella from Montenegro has also adopted the “off the grid” policy for his social media presence. With no apparent (verified) social media accounts, it appears our interaction with the big man will be minimal. Listen, injuries suck and the Wolves are going to pay Pek his $12 million guaranteed anyway, so why not strap a GoPro to his head for team bus rides or hook him up with a Periscope account and create a weekly feature called #Pekspective where we watch Pek try to outscore KAT in NBA2k or teach Wiggins’ dog to play dead? Just because he can’t find his way onto the court anymore doesn’t mean he can’t find his way into our hearts! Hey Timberwolves Entertainment Network, let’s make this happen!