Welcome to Clyde & Chris’ House of Highlights!
Chris: That’s an amazing suit, Clyde!
Clyde: Thanks! Your hair looks crazy as hell, Chris!
Chris: Um . . . thanks! Well, on to the highlights.
Clyde: Reality, it is deformed!!!
There is no record of any shape or form!
Chris: Ren Hoek meets Shakespeare! You’re on fire tonight, Clyde!
Clyde: You know who else was on fire tonight?
he didn’t fail to astound,
as he whirled round-and-round,
and knocked Hassan to the ground,
with a putback rebound,
that shook the ground with a pound!
Chris: Got-dayum! I wish there was a video of that!
Clyde: Alas, what a morass!
Chris: More ass?!?
Clyde: Don’t be Crass.
Chris: Sorry. Anyhow, Karl-Anthony Towns recorded a double-double in under 27 minutes, with 20 points, 10 boards and 2 threes. Along with a pair of blocks - I hear one of them shattered the floorboards and embedded itself in the court!
Clyde: That shot, he did abort!
Chris: (attempts to adjust his shirt collar comically) *Glaven*
Um, and Wiggins finished with 19, on 3-11 shooting from the field, and 13 out of 16 at the line.
Clyde: Did he bound and astound?
Chris: 2 bounds in 28 minutes.
Clyde: Oh, Andrew . . .
Chris: Quite . . . And speaking of a quintessential performances, Bazz had 14 on 14 attempts and no assists in 36 minutes.
Clyde: Damn. No steals or blocks, either . . .
How sick was Tricky Ricky,
with the fingers that are sticky?
Chris: He had 3 steals, to go with 9 points, 5 rebounds and 5 assists. He hit his only three point attempt of the game on a set shot underneath the opposite basket. It’s apparently the longest NBA shot ever made!
Clyde: That was insane in the membrane.
. . . Insane in the brain.
Clyde: Like Miami’s winning chemistry coalition: Hassan Whiteside, Derrick Williams, Deon Waiters & Goran Dragic. Have fun in the sun, Heat fans!
Chris: Well, we could go on all night, but since the NBA unbelievably provided no record of this game full of dunks from the free-throw line & Tom Thibodeau’s new offensive sets, which were previously employed exclusively by The Harlem Globetrotters, let’s cut to the chase:
The Wolves beat the Heat convincingly in Miami. Good enough start for us!