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A Canis Exclusive: KAT Works Out With Sasquatch

Karl-Anthony Towns has been working out with a world-renowned sports trainer in his free time.

Some interesting news hit my inbox early this morning. Canis Hoopus sources are reporting that Karl-Anthony Towns, the Wolves’ star sophomore center who posted 24 points and 19 rebounds in last night’s win over Denver, has been working out with a world-renowned trainer on his off days in a desolate location about an hour outside of Minneapolis.

And who might that trainer be? Brace yourself.

Sasquatch himself has been helping the Big KAT put on that real forest muscle needed to battle the most devastating bigs in the NBA. He is said to lead a jerky-powered strength program and the pillars of his training include: explosiveness, strength, light stretching, bees, and calisthenics.

Towns’ relationship with the elusive Sasquatch dates back to his Kentucky days, according to sources.

An individual close to the situation stated that Coach Calipari has been friends with Sasquatch for over 20 years, often using him as a secret competitive advantage while recruiting the top prep prospects in the country.

Ever wonder how Calipari’s track record is so amazing? The truth is starting the reveal itself. His players are training with one of the all-time legends in the industry.

Anthony Davis, DeMarcus Cousins, John Wall, and Eric Bledsoe are all linked to secret workouts with Sasquatch, who implores a unique and mysterious fitness program that experts have been attempting to uncover for decades.

An exclusive workout video was sent to Canis headquarters in Northeast, Minneapolis.

Weasel stretchin’, stump jumps, and badger push-ups are some of Sasquatch’s go-to workouts with Towns.

Protein is an essential part of muscle growth, which is something Towns has been stressing in his daily diet.

Mr. Towns could not be reached for comment, as he’s currently traveling to New Orleans to participate in the Rising Stars Challenge tomorrow night, but we will continue to follow this developing story.