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Wolves Fortunes

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As the season winds down, the team decided to get some great Chinese food and see what their fortune cookies have in store for them.

The regular season is nearly over and the Wolves are on the precipice of making the playoffs. Currently just one game ahead of the ninth seed Nuggets and one game behind the fourth seed Jazz, the volatility of their playoff position has reached peak levels.

With only four games remaining, the uncertainty of making the playoffs is, understandably, keeping fans and players alike on the edge of their seats. In times of doubt, I look to one source of truth to find solace.

Fortune cookies.

That’s right. Those tasty, confectionary delights that hold all knowledge of the future. The vagueness of their insight keeping hopes alive in the dreariest of situations.

Now, I am not a superstitious guy. It is comforting, though, when I am feeling down and I can look back at one of my fortunes and think, “Hell yeah, I AM going to be rich soon, thanks fortune cookie.” Then, I continue living my life while making no changes until I am down again, and the cycle repeats.

Fortunately for me, this Wolves team shares that sentiment in looking to fortunes to inspire and motivate. More fortunate is that, as professional athletes, they have the drive to actually make change based on the sage words provided by the all-knowing cookies.

The team gathered at Szechuan Spice on Lyndale and here we share the fortunes they received and what they mean.

Fortune: “Two small jumps are sometimes better than one big leap.”

Right off the bat, we get a good one. Everyone acknowledged the levels to this. Maybe try a euro step to the hoop rather than dunking from the free throw line?

More importantly, the recognition that while this team had high expectations after acquiring Jimmy Butler on draft day, they are still in the process of improving. There are legitimate concerns about roster construction, despite their relatively high success this season, that Josh eloquently pointed out yesterday.

But, we’d all be lying if we thought it would be as easy as lottery team to championship team in 82 games. Remember, Michael Jordan didn’t even make it to the major leagues when he tried baseball. I believe that’s how the inspirational saying goes.

Fortune: “Accept something that you cannot change, and you will feel better.”

A truly humbling piece of paper. Wow. The guys had nothing to say to this one, they just nodded at each other in agreement that the bench guys will continue to rot as the starters carry this team to the playoffs.

Fortune: “You will be traveling and coming into a fortune”

The gang had a good laugh about this one. Jimmy exclaimed, “Who do they think we are? We ain’t LEBRON JAMES. HAHAHAHAHA.” Though, the disconcerted looks on their faces showed a realization at the truly vast fortune LeBron has accrued throughout his career, despite his travels on the court. Moments later, they cheered up when thinking about their own bank accounts in the grand scheme of things.

Fortune: “You are a leader. Others soon will need your inspiration”

KAT: “The fortune cookie is right, I NEED TO STEP UP GUYS.”

Jimmy Butler: *eyeroll* “I’ve been telling you this all season. Your media interviews have made it clear that you want to be this guy. THIS CAN’T BE ALL ON ME.”

Wiggins: ...inaudible mumbling...

KAT and Jimmy: “What? C’mon man you gotta speak up, we’ve gone over this.”

Wiggins (slightly above a whisper): “I really liked the shrimp fried rice...”

Fortune: “A pleasant surprise is in store for you soon.”

Fortune: “You will soon be involved in many gatherings and parties.”

A two-fer! Of course, Tyus is the lucky one who pulled two fortunes from one cookie. It’s those quick hands.

Soon can be pretty relative, but it’s clear this means the team is heading to the playoffs. This is the solace we all needed. A first round matchup with a Curry-less Warriors team would be mighty enticing if it ends up that way.

I would be pleasantly surprised if we can take down the reigning champs, but it’s not out of the question. In their last matchup the Wolves took down Golden State without Jimmy Butler. If he comes back in time for the first round, look out.

The second fortune pretty much seals up a championship within the next three years. Gatherings and parties? Sounds like a parade to me.

Hope you all enjoyed this because, while I’m not superstitious, I can say that fortune cookies are binding agreements with the universe. These were all pretty fortuitous and, honestly, it was a good bonding experience for the team. Here’s to making the playoffs!