Canis Pulsus - Vol. 3 Results

What a whirlwind the past two months have been! The season is here and this may be the happiest we’ll be in 2020. Everything counts now and in a year like no other, how will the Timberwolves season pan out? How will the NBA itself pan out?

What did the Canis hivemind think?

(Note: Canis Pulsus Vol. 3 was published right before the Rondae Hollis-Jefferson waiving)

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What record to you think the Timberwolves will finish the season with?

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36-36 / 30-42 (13.8%)

Average: 35-37

Considering these votes were submitted after our less than spectacular preseason showing, I was rather surprised to see such a positive outlook. If you take out the outlier answers of 72-0 and 23-49, the average still sits at 33-39 which is perhaps rosier than what I personally thought. At the end of the day, it’s forever 72-0!

Full voting results:

Will the Timberwolves make the playoffs?

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No (70.8%)

There’s Canis Hoopus! With a competitive-as-ever Western Conference, it’s very unlikely that a sub-.500 record nets Minnesota a postseason birth. Would that be enough to make the play-in tournament though? Even if so, it doesn’t seem CH thinks they would advance from there.

Full voting results:

The MVP of the Timberwolves will be...

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Karl-Anthony Towns (89.7%)

No surprise here. Things are different this season for Karl-Anthony Towns — both on and off the basketball court. However, it appears he’s taking a different approach on the basketball court. “Special K” (S/O @jakesgraphs) was surprisingly transparent when discussing the value of defense and what his responsibility will be this year. If he makes strides on that end, then he’ll be in contention for MVP of more than just the Timberwolves.

Full voting results:

The best defender on the Timberwolves will be...

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Jarrett Culver (43.1%)

JC has risen (Nope. That joke will never get old)! With a standout performance in preseason, it wasn’t surprising to see Jarrett Culver rise to the top of our hype power rankings. He was able to make the #MuscleWatch this offseason while maintaining his impeccable footwork and anticipation that he showed last year. Feel free to feast your eyes on his portfolio of art from last season. This is also the first of many times that we’re going to see Rondae Hollis-Jefferson’s name pop-up on this edition. Ouch.

Full voting results:

The best locker room guy on the Timberwolves will be...

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Ricky Rubio (55.2%)

Our Spanish Unicorn has elevated the games of other young teams such as the Phoenix Suns and the Utah Jazz. The impact that he has stretches not only on the court, but in the locker room as well (SMUT). I didn’t expect to see Anthony Edwards pop up here, although his college Coach Tom Crean raved about Edwards’ character as a teammate.

Full voting results:

The player on the Timberwolves who will impress the most is...

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Anthony Edwards (43.1%)

Hotel availability on Anthony Edwards Island is disappearing quicker than D’Angelo Russell on a ball screen, so you better make your reservations now! After showing the world that Luka Doncic can never ever score on him, it appears Canis Hoopus has also taken notice. The bench unit headed by Ant Man and JC looks primed to turn some heads this season.

Full voting results:

Now that season is about to begin, my feelings on the direction of the Timberwolves are...

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Slightly optimistic (55.2%)

Prior to the start of preseason, Canis Hoopus also felt “Slightly Optimistic” about the direction of the team (57.5%) so that type of optimism has not waned. However the “Very Optimistic” camp has dissipated nearly in half from 23.4% to 12.1%. The positivity is still there, but I’ll be curious how these feelings hold as we head into the first half of our season.

Full voting results:

My hottest Timberwolves season take/prediction is...

We got our variety of hot takes here, ranging from room temp to scalding hot. Of the submissions, my personal favorites are:

3) The Timberwolves win all of their games on buzzer beaters, thanks to our lord and savior Ricky Rubio.

2) A Canis civil war erupts when Anthony Edwards proves just as divisive as Wiggins.

1) Rubio beats Lakers by batting eyelashes at LeBron, causing backbreaking turnover at buzzer.

Full results:

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Will the NBA season will finish on time and as planned, regardless of the COVID-19 pandemic?

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Yes (81.0%)

The NBA is a money-making machine and after biting the financial bullet with an Orlando bubble in Disney World to wrap up last season, it seems that Canis Hoopus believes that the NBA will continue full force this season regardless of the potential consequences. Or it’s possible that the NBA receives early access to the COVID-19 vaccine and all goes well. Either way, this will be an interesting storyline to monitor as well.

Full voting results:

The Coach of the Year will be...

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Rick Carlisle (17.3%)

This is always a tough award to peg. As you can see, the answers were split among 19 different coaches (Sarcastic or not). With that said, there were some other great answers that didn’t make it on the graph which included “LeBron,” “Not Ryan Saunders,” and “Jordan McLaughlin.” Classic.

Full voting results:

The Rookie of the Year will be...

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Anthony Edwards (38.0%)

Hoooooooomerrrrrs! Our beloved “kinda big” rookie, Anthony Edwards, wins this vote with LaMelo Ball trailing here by just 4 votes. As we know, this award is rarely about substance and more about “POINTZZZ” and it’s very possible that neither of these players lead rookies in scoring. The Edwards-Ball storyline will still be entertaining to follow all year, as Canis Hoopus was and still seems to be rather torn between these two rookies. Shoutout to the voter who went with Malachi Flynn of the Toronto Raptors!

Full voting results:

The Most Improved Player will be...

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Jarrett Culver (43.8%)

Hoooooooomerrrrrs! But no, is it likely is it that Jarrett Culver will win Most Improved Player of the Year? This award is always kind of a janky one to predict with previous winners such as Bobby Simmons, Aaron Brooks, old Hedo Turkoglu, old Goran Dragic, and many others. Honestly, Culver seems like a total name to belong with those greats! Good call.

Full voting results:

The Sixth Man of the Year will be...

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Lou Williams (18.2%)

“Lemon Pepper” Lou looks to win his 4th 6MOY award after missing the threepeat last year due to his teammate and this year’s runner-up, Montrezl Harrell. As yet another award that is largely about “POINTZZZ,” it’s entirely possible that Williams takes this award back to... um... LA (?), now that Harrell is across town. Honestly, I hope Lou focuses on winning this award instead of going to strip clubs (for the wings of course) and causing an outbreak.

Full voting results:

The Defensive Player of the Year will be...

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Giannis Antetokounmpo (25.0%)

Much was made of Giannis winning this award last season, as much of the media felt Anthony Davis deserved it. This will be intriguing to follow once again, especially considering that Giannis now has noted defensive stalwart, Jrue Holiday, to back him up this year. Rudy Gobert, a yearly contender for the award and recently extended on a new contract, was barely the runner-up according to Canis Hoopus. We’ll also have to watch out for dark horse candidates like James Harden and Anthony Edwards!

Full voting results:

The Most Valuable Player will be...

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Luka Doncic (28.3%)

The Golden Boy of the NBA is a popular candidate for MVP this season. Although some many have some recency bias after his blistering performance in the bubble earlier a few months ago, there’s no denying his ascent among the NBA elite. It’s unlikely that Naz Reid and Kostas Antetokounmpo will reel in many votes to threaten Doncic, but honestly it might come down to just how many times Luka can avoid being matched up with Anthony Edwards this season.

Full voting results:

The 2020-2021 Eastern Conference winners will be...

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Milwaukee Bucks (59.7%)

After getting embarrassed in the playoffs, it appears CH did not forget just how dominant Milwaukee looked in the regular season. A freshly re-upped Giannis and an upgraded supporting cast will look to finally try to climb atop the Eastern Conference mountain. Shoutout to the Cleveland Cavalier truther.

Full voting results:

The 2020-2021 Western Conference winners will be...

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Los Angeles Lakers (71.9%)

I was shocked to see the Minnesota Timberwolves only accumulate two Canis Hoopus votes here. Regardless of that, it appears the Lakers are primed be the Kings of the West once again. It was a bit surprising not to see more contenders considering the amount of rest LeBron James and Anthony Davis will have in this abbreviated season.

Full voting results:

The 2020-2021 NBA Champions winners will be...

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Los Angeles Lakers (42.9%)

Will LeBron James repeat in Los Angeles, tie Kobe Bryant’s five championship rings, and ultimately surpass him in the ranks of Laker lore? As a well-known Lakers-hater (aren’t we all?) and LeBron James fan, that result is the only reason I’d sleep well at night if the Lakers won it all again. Last season, I was able to sleep due Jimmy Butler not winning one in the face of KAT/Minnesota/Philadelphia.

Full voting results:

The NBA’s next team turmoil will be...

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Houston Rockets (37.9%)

What’s got me laughing isn’t that James Harden’s team is atop this list, but that his two most desired destinations are respectively #2 and #5 (tied) on this list. Is the possibility of Harden joining those teams the reason they’re on this list? I’d have to say no, as they have their own issues. The Athletic put out an excellent piece on the Clippers and the intra-team turmoil that existed last season. Meanwhile any team with Chris Paul has the potential for a meltdown both on and off the court. Kudos to CH for not putting the Timberwolves on this list once!

Full voting results:

The NBA’s next team turnaround will be...

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Minnesota Timberwolves (33.3%)

As a Milwaukee Bucks blog, I am surprised to see the Timberwolves as the majority vote getter in so many of these questions. It also makes sense that the team who just shellacked Minnesota twice last week, the Memphis Grizzlies were the runners-up. What was most interesting to me was how the Phoenix Suns ended up 4th on both these lists.

Full voting results:

My hottest NBA season take/prediction is...

There’s some comedy in here so I truly advise you to check out the full list of answers. Here’s the 3 that were my favorites:

3) The Knicks make the playoffs, thanks to Omari Spellman and Jacob Evans who each average 50/20/20 on 60/50/95 splits.

2) A Toni Braxton situation will emerge forcing the Boston Celtics to trade Jaylen Brown and Kemba Walker.

1) Canis Hoopus is hired as a collective advisor to the Wolves.

Full results:

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This wraps up the offseason editions of Canis Pulsus. We will likely return halfway through the season, just prior to the NBA trade deadline, to take the Canis Hoopus temperature on how things are going. Boy am I looking forward to that.

Major shoutout to all of you who contributed and played along. This content is really generated by you and it always brings a smile to face reading through it all. Stay safe, enjoy your holiday season, and let’s all have a better 2021 ahead!