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Bill Simmons Names Timberwolves A Bottom Five GM Job

The founder of the Ringer does not think highly of the Timberwolves.

NBA: Minnesota Timberwolves at Houston Rockets Thomas Shea-USA TODAY Sports
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To make a not-so-long story shorter, Bill Simmons thinks the Wolves GM job is one of the worst in the NBA. He and Ryen Russillo named it one of the five worst in the sport on his most recent podcast, with the aforementioned clip linked here.

So, yeah, the Wolves are an easy target, but I’m here to make a half serious argument against that notion. It is up to you to decide what’s serious and what’s sarcastic, what a fun little game we get to play today!

Yes, the Wolves have the worst winning percentage in NBA history. Yes, without Kevin Garnett, this franchise has been to the playoffs just once. Yes, the weather in Minneapolis during the winter is brutal. And finally, yes, ownership and the best player in franchise history have a relationship so fractured that KG is unwilling to come to town to have his jersey retired.

With that all of that being said, getting out from being a bottom-5 job is a low bar to clear. Let’s take a stab at it.

In Phoenix, things are so chaotic that a real, live goat dropped it’s feces on the floor of the GM, because owner Ryan Sarver placed it there. Somehow, this is real. Say what you want about Glen Taylor, but at least he’s never done THAT.

In Charlotte, Nic Batum holds a contract so terrible that the Hornets weren’t able to find any way of disposing of it. No team is willing to take that one on. Guess what, we were able to flip our awful contracts (Andrew Wiggins, Gorgui Dieng) for guys who theoretically might make the team better! On top of that, Minnesota has a legitimate star in Karl-Anthony Towns that they can build around. That’s a heck of a better place to be than relying on Terry Rozier!

I’d argue the job in Houston is not a desirable job, either. Sure, Daryl Morey is still there, and so is James Harden and Russell Westbrook. The writing is on the wall for Morey, though, and I wonder if executives will be lining up for that job while Tilman Fertitta is still the owner. He is giving Morey the very realistic and possible task of improving the team from championship contender to champion all while cutting salary. That sounds like a fun challenge!

I mean, the Knicks are the Knicks, but does anyone REALLY want to work for James Dolan? Enough said there.

Would Detroit be a worse job? Maybe? They don’t really have a singular piece you’d want to build around. The same can be said for Cleveland.

I don’t know, I’ve gotten a bit tired from all of the mental gymnastics that just took, but I’m glad I could finally rest knowing the Minnesota Timberwolves GM position is a top-25 job in the sport.

(Jokes aside, I don’t think it’s actually a bottom-5 job, albeit just barely).