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Canis Pulsus Vol. XII - Results

The Canis Hoopus comments section have officially spoken - The Timberwolves will be your 2022 NBA champions!

About 57 of our loyal Canis Hoopus members submitted their predictions for the upcoming NBA season. The results may shock you. Welcome, to Canis Pulsus Vol. XII - ‘21-’22 Predictions Edition!


How many wins do you think the Timberwolves will finish the season with?

44 wins

Last season: 35 wins

Only 3 out of the 57 Canis Hoopus members voted for the under the 34.5 Vegas line. This sample size indicates that 94.7% of our community believe the Wolves are going to hit the over. Incredible. But as usual, we all already know - 82-0 forever!

Full voting results:

Will the Timberwolves make the play-in tournament?

Yes (81%)

Last year, the San Antonio Spurs were the “last in” for the play-in tournament with a 33-39 record. Given that it was a 72-game season, in a regular 82-game season such as this year, that would be roughly 38-44. If CH predicted 44 wins, then we’re chillin’!

Full voting results:

Will the Timberwolves make the playoffs?

Yes (65%)

Last season: No - 70.8%

To completely bypass the play-in tournament and ensure a playoff berth with the 6 seed, the same formula above spits out a record of 48-34 to match what the Portland Trailblazers accomplished last season. However, battling against the likes of a Memphis, San Antonio, Sacramento, or New Orleans in a potential play-in bracket doesn’t sound too daunting. The 65% “Yes” answers is quite the contrast to the 70.8% “No” answers from last season.

Full voting results:

The MVP of the Timberwolves will be...

Karl-Anthony Towns (65%)

Last season: Karl-Anthony Towns - 90%

Just like how KAT shed a bunch of weight this offseason, he apparently also shed the confidence of CH’ers. I’ll note that his corralling of 25% less votes this year is probably less to do with him and more to do with the emergence of the NBA’s new basketball overlord, Anthony Edwards.

Full voting results:

The best defender on the Timberwolves will be...

Patrick Beverley (39%)

Last season: Jarrett Culver - 43%

This won’t be the first time you’ll be seeing Patrick Beverley’s name pop up here. Scary enough though, if the new Minnesota favorite suffers from the same fate as last year’s answer to this question, I wish PatBev all the best as he beats out Sean Kilpatrick for the Thunder’s final roster spot in the 2022-2023 season.

Full voting results:

The best bench player for the Timberwolves will be...

Patrick Beverley (39%)

Well, hello there again, Mr. 94 Feet! The answers to this question were fun to parse through as the Timberwolves appear deeper than they’ve ever been in recent memory. Naz Reid seems primed to explode onto the big stage this year. NBA Star Malik Beasley could shine in a bench gunner role (More on that later). Even Taurean Prince could see a big bump in production as he’s... falling back in love?

Full voting results:

The player on the Timberwolves who will impress the most is...

Anthony Edwards (56%)

Last season: Anthony Edwards - 43%

There were a good amount of Anthony Edwards skeptics last year, but that colony has grown much smaller as the queen is literally growing in stature. It’s great to see more and more CH’ers turn into Ant believers as they listen to Dave Benz dish out more ant facts!

Full voting results:

The best locker room guy on the Timberwolves will be...

Patrick Beverley (61%)

Last season: Ricky Rubio - 55%

You can never replace the presence of someone like Ricky Rubio, but bringing in a hardened veteran like Patrick Beverley isn’t too bad of a consoelation priz. Whether or not we want him to, Pat’s surely going to be in the ears and minds of our core players and I’m excited to see what kind of non-Jimmy-psychopath results we get from that.

Full voting results:

Now that season is about to begin, my feelings on the direction of the Timberwolves are...

Very optimistic (47.4%)

Last season: Slightly optimistic (55.2%)

From majority “Slightly optimistic” to majority “Very optimistic”?? This can’t be Canis Hoopus, can it? We had over 50 community members answer the twelfth volume of Canis Pulsus and only 2 indicated any pessimism. 2021 is out of control.

Full voting results:

My hottest Timberwolves season take/prediction is...

Always one of my favorite questions to read the responses to! Take some time to check out the full list of answers below, although I did pick out my three favorite (You know who you are).

3) Vando will shoot over 69% from the free throw line

2) 3 team trade. Cavs get Draymond Green and D-Lo. Warriors get Sexton and Beasley. Wolves get Love, Rubio, and Wiggins!

1) 82-0

Full results:

The Most Valuable Player will be...

Giannis Antetokounmpo / Kevin Durant (27%)

Last season: Luka Doncic - 28%

Rightfully so, Giannis’ championship run should have reminded us why the former two-time MVP deserves more respect. Kevin Durant and his large shoes also tied as the top vote getter. Meanwhile, Luka Doncic may be starting to receive criticism, but it’s probably more to do with Mark Cuban bringing in Jason Kidd to “replace” Rick Carlisle.

Full voting results:

The Rookie of the Year will be...

Jalen Green (40%)

Last season: Anthony Edwards - 38%

My fellow Asian brotha, Jalen Green, is going to have the ultra green light in Houston and as these awards often go, it’ll be whichever rookie scores the most POINTZZZ!!! The key for the race for ROY could be if any other contending rookies can make an impact on a winning team. Also shoutout to 5th year rookie Ben Simmons.

Full voting results:

The Sixth Man of the Year will be...

Malik Beasley (27%)

Last season: Lou Williams - 18%

As Malik Beasley continues on his journey to become a top 2 Beasley in Minnesota sports history, his role should put him in position to do what he does best - SCORE MOAR POINTZ! He could have a legit shot at this award if he embraces this opportunity to Lou WIlliams it up.

Full voting results:

The Most Improved Player of the Year will be...

Anthony Edwards (34%)

Last season: Jarrett Culver - 44%

A number one pick winning Most Improved Player? That would be a first in NBA history, although if anyone could accomplish such a feat, it would be Ant. Usually an increase in defense, something that hardly shows up on the stat sheet, won’t garner much attention for this award, but Edwards still has so much room to grow as a scorer, distributor, and rebounder.

Full voting results:

The Coach of the Year will be...

Chris Finch (70%)

Last season: Rick Carlisle - 17%

Two words: Cheep, cheep!

Full voting results:

The 2021-2022 Eastern Conference winners will be...

Brooklyn Nets (51%)

Last season: Milwaukee Bucks - 60%

It really looks like the Nets and Bucks are on a collision course for the Eastern Conference finals. I think it’s possible the Kyle Lowry-Bam Adebayo led Heat could also make some noise, but hardly do “super teams” that get thrown together make it in year 1.

Full voting results:

The 2021-2022 Western Conference winners will be...

Los Angeles Lakers / Utah Jazz (28%)

Last season: Los Angeles Lakers - 72%

The Los Angeles Lakers may have dropped off as the heavily favored team in the Western Conference, but there’s still a decent shot they make their way back to the NBA finals. Health will be the ultimate question mark for them. Regardless, there appears to be more parity in the West than what we’ve seen recently.

Full voting results:

The 2021-2022 NBA Champions winners will be...

Brooklyn Nets (38%)

Last season: Los Angeles Lakers - 43%

Remember the days of when whoever emerged victorious from the West would end up being the de facto champion? The scale seems to have tipped the other way now. Although Brooklyn appears to be a heavy favorite, there’s still a lot of potential volatility with the “Voice for the Voiceless” there.

Full voting results:

The NBA’s next team turmoil will be...

Philadelphia 76ers (50%)

Last season: Houston Rockets - 38%

CH nailed the Houston Rockets pick last season and it looks like Philly is in our crosshairs now. Every time Woj or Shams drops a juicy bit of news regarding the 76ers, I’ve turned into the MichaelJacksonEatingPopcorn.gif. Meanwhile, the broken foot Zion Pelicans also picked up a chunk of votes too. Lastly, what if I told you not one person voted for the Minnesota Timberwolves? Shocking, but true story.

Full voting results:

The NBA’s next team turnaround will be...

Minnesota Timberwolves (68%)

Last season: Minnesota Timberwolves - 33%

It looks like either the Catalina bit accounts are multiplying and submitting repeat votes for the Timberwolves, or the optimism here at CH is hitting an alarmingly high mark. From 33% last season, to 68%, it looks like Charlie Brown is lining up for the kick.

Full voting results:

My hottest NBA season take/prediction is...

It doesn’t matter how many Kyrie or Simmons or Dame hot takes we submit, all that matters is 82-0. All love, CH!

3) Kyrie Irving announces run for Senate

2) Lakers implode when NBA bans some substance for over 30’s

1) Gotta repeat it - Minnesota Timberwolves NBA Champs!

Full results:

Link to the full results: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1uiFIEjQ5M-jNY1qR9QriEwnVXQB-QXX9YSkt8NjEyFs/edit?usp=sharing


Just like that, we made it through another offseason! Canis Hoopus has survived another playoff-less season (and a new commenting platform) for now, but we here at CH really appreciate all of you making this such a special place. We’ll be looking forward to hearing your voices as we continue through another edition of Canis Pulsus at the quarter mark of the season!