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Canis Pulsus - Vol. XIII: Quarterly Report 1

Break out your red pens. It’s time for progress reports of our Wolves!

Luckily, our first quarter report cards weren’t rolled out earlier. Two weeks ago, I was sipping tea on my deck in the morning, finding solace in the fact that the Minnesota Timberwolves were one of the few consistencies in this crazy thing we call life. Now, I’m pounding Red Bulls down my gullet while racing down in my morning commute to work, as the Wolves are now on pace for a 72-10 record (I neither drink tea nor Red Bulls, and also don’t have a deck or commute to work).

It’s time for Canis Pulsus Vol. XIII.

Canis Pulsus is designed to give our Canis Hoopus community a published voice.

A pulse, if you will.

We all know that if CH occupied all seats of the Minnesota Timberwolves front office, we would be preparing to win our 32nd consecutive championship right now. So now is your time to be the teacher/professor/my mom. How would you grade the performances of each member of the Minnesota Timberwolves?

It’s a simple concept, really. Just submit your grades as honestly or sarcastically as you would like. All individual submissions will remain anonymous so no one will know if you were the one voter who gave Jake Layman an A+ (Looking at you, jakesgraphs). Once the survey closes, the results as a whole will be published on Canis Hoopus and (in theory) be snail mailed to everyone’s parents.

Canis Pulsus Vol. XIII - Quarterly Report 1

Vote link:
*Voting ends Friday, 12/3*

  1. Grade each player’s performance so far this season.
  2. Grade the coaching staff’s performance so far this season.
  3. Grade the front office’s performance so far this season.
  4. Grade ownership’s performance so far this season.
  5. What do you hope the Timberwolves accomplish during the next quarter of the season the MOST?
  6. Will the Timberwolves make the play-in tournament?
  7. Will the Timberwolves make the playoffs?
  8. With 1/4 of the season over, my feelings on the direction of the Timberwolves are...

Previous Canis Pulsus Results:

Canis Pulsus Vol. 1 - NBA Draft Edition Results

Canis Pulsus Vol. 2 - Offseason Edition Results

Canis Pulsus Vol. 3 - Season Prediction Edition Results

Canis Pulsus Vol. 4 - Quarterly Report Results

Canis Pulsus Vol. 5 - Coaching Change Edition Results

Canis Pulsus Vol. 6 - First Semester Grades

Canis Pulsus Vol. 7 - 3rd Quarter Report

Canis Pulsus Vol. 8 - Hoopus Awards

Canis Pulsus Vol. 9 - Final Grades and Awards

Canis Pulsus Vol. X - 2021 NBA Draft & Free Agency Edition

Canis Pulsus Vol. XI - Ben Simmons Edition

Canis Pulsus Vol. XII - ‘21-’22 Predictions