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Canis Pulsus - Vol. 4

It’s time for our quarterly report card for the Wolves.

By Leo Sun

We never learn, do we? The Canis hivemind, despite the preseason warning smoke, still sat at 67.3% slightly or very optimistic heading into game 1 of the 2020-2021 season. With game 18 in the books, we’re officially at the 1⁄4 mark (Editor’s Note: this was originally written prior to Minnesota’s victory Sunday night against the Cavaliers).

The Timberwolves have barely participated in competitive basketball, excited fans are now sad, brick houses have been built, players have contracted COVID-19 while other are hurt with “soreness from practice,” and gowns have been blown.

It’s time for Canis Pulsus Vol. 4.

For those of you who have been ignoring this series (for good reason, no offence taken) — Canis Pulsus is designed to give our Canis Hoopus community a published voice.

A pulse, if you will.

We all know that if CH occupied all seats of the Minnesota Timberwolves front office, we would be celebrating our 30th consecutive championship this year. So now is your time to be the judge. Take out your red pens because it’s time to grade our least favorite basketball team!

It’s a simple concept, really. Just submit your vote as honestly or sarcastically as you would like. All individual submissions will remain anonymous so no one will know if you were the one voter who gave the coaching staff an A+. Once the polls close, the results as a whole will be published on Canis Hoopus and (in theory) be submitted to everyone in the organization’s parents.

Canis Pulsus Vol. 1 - NBA Draft Edition

Canis Pulsus Vol. 2 - Offseason Edition

Canis Pulsus Vol. 3 - Season Prediction Edition

Canis Pulsus Vol. 4 - Quarterly Report

Vote link: https://forms.gle/wLLuhJz1uEnz8DZo7

*Voting ends Wednesday, 2/3*

  1. Which player have you been MOST impressed with so far?
  2. Which player have you been LEAST impressed with so far?
  3. The grade I would give the players (as a whole) thus far is...
  4. The grade I would give the coaching staff thus far is...
  5. The grade I would give the front office thus far is...
  6. Will the Timberwolves make the playoffs?
  7. If you were the General Manager instead of Rosas, what is 1 thing you would do?
  8. If you were the Head Coach instead of Saunders, what is 1 thing you would do?
  9. With 18 games played, my feelings on the direction of the Timberwolves are...