Hoopus Awards Winners & Zoomers

Just like that, the Minnesota Timberwolves’ season is officially over. Wait... basketball? No - who’s here for basketball? Everyone at this site is here for only one thing:

To be a part of the Canis Hoopus community!

What better way to tie the season up in a nice bow than to announce the winners of our 1st ever Hoopus Awards during Uncle Rico’s End-of-Season Canis Zoomus. During this 4-hour virtual happy hour, we were joined by the following CH members (apologies if I left anyone out):

• Uncle Rico
• YoLeo
• Joel Hernandez
• Running with Twolves (and scissors)
• eshold
• ynotema2
• Asleep at the Keyboard
• NBW
• jaxtoon
• Deorini Dei
• MNIslander
• Mattsteg
• Fletch

Drinks were flowing and vibes were great! From listening to NBW and his awesome 15 year-old wishing for Boban Marjanovic, to Deorini Dei trying to keep himself awake at ungodly hours, it was classic CH (minus the car talk of course). It was also entertaining to see everyone’s offset reactions to plays that occurred throughout the game since some of us were watching on live TV while others were on other “legal” streaming services. Time flew by as fast as a mystery “Elvis Presley” logged in and out throughout the evening before we finally got to the meat of the show:

It was time for the Hoopus Awards winner announcements!

Tim Allen Lifetime Achievement Award:

• Eric in Madison & Chairman Bud (Winners receive a lifetime lasagna supply from Becky Taylor)

Most Prodigious Poster:

• googoleeoottooooleeoottooooleeeatta with 30,272 posts (Winner based on all-time site data)

Most Recs Received Award:

• Poor Dick (He wishes) with 70,749 (Winner based on all-time site data)

Rookie of the Year:

• Zena (Since Zena was not present and technically a 3rd-year rookie, jaxtoon accepted the award on their behalf)

E-6 Photoshop of the Year Award:

• MNIslander for “2020 Wolves block Jimmy Butler” (Created via MSPaint)

Recipe of the Year:

• Klawitter for “Samosa Chaatdish (Indian tater tot casserole)” (Uncle Rico recreated the dish below; India-traveled Rica approves!)

Click for recipe

Running Joke of the Year:

• Poop Hat for “Do you know how birthdays work?” (Rico has volunteered to write down all future jokes on a physical notebook moving forward)

Click for origin

Pun of the Year:

• Poop Hat for “cheep cheep, motherfucker” (ynotema2 has volunteered to write down all future jokes on an electronic notebook moving forward)

Click for origin

Bit of the Year:

• Clyde Frazier for Clyde Frazier

Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images for Cantor Fitzgerald

jmndodge Longest Post Award:

• Pyrrol for Ricky Rubio shpeel (Based not just on word count, but word blobbiest with hyphens)

Click for post

Most Distant Award:

• Peth in Auckland, NZ (Self-nominated, with shout-outs to tyger1147 in Beijing. Dupey in South Korea, and RBE in some Russian bunker)

Game Thread Poster of the Year & Lifetime Achievement:

SoDakHammer for his game thread count and vibes

And there you have it. Your first ever Hoopus Award winners! All winners will be receiving a Hoopus Stimulus check good for X amount of Hoopus Points based on your behavior throughout the year. Uncle Rico and I are extremely thankful of our comments section for providing minimal to no nominees this year, but also for actually voting and providing feedback. As we mentioned in our Zoomus, just like the Timberwolves franchise, we are forever stuck in a retool & rebuild loop and are looking forward to an improved Hoopus Awards for next season!

In the meantime, there were murmurs of a June 22nd Lotto Night Canis Zoomus. Be there or be wearing pants (sadly, no one followed the *No Pants Allowed rule for this particular Zoomus)!