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2023-2024 Canis Hoopus Starting Lineup

The Minnesota Timberwolves are back in action tonight, and so is the Canis Hoopus squad, ready to roll for another season in 2023-24.

Minnesota Timberwolves v Phoenix Suns Photo by Barry Gossage/NBAE via Getty Images

If you’re reading this, then you certainly know the high-quality “kahn-tent” that Canis Hoopus brings you night in, night out. Just like President of Basketball Operations Tim Connelly assembled the soon-to-be 2024 NBA championship Minnesota Timberwolves, our Site Manager, Jack Borman, assembled an elite roster of writers here at CH.

So who are these talented folks behind the screens?

Leo Sun (@Y0Leo)

Canis Birthday: 4/13/2011

Hometown: Northern California (Sacramento)

Current Location: Southern California (Camarillo)

Favorite Piece Written: An Open Letter to Karl-Anthony Towns & 5 Asian Hopefuls in the NBA Draft

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: Traveling to Minnesota for the second time ever with Boss10 and watching the Wolves win game three versus the Rockets in 2018. It was the first postseason victory in 14 years! I’ll never forget pregame drinks with John Meyer at Kieran’s, stepping onto the floor and snagging some confetti (Before Boss10’s merch got stolen), then postgame food & drinks with JPete and the rest of the broadcasting team. I felt like a real Minnesotan!

Basketball Comp: Miloš Teodosić type beat

Hidden Talent: I’m very good at Super Smash Bros. 64.

Ryan Hines (@ryanhines0)

Canis Birthday: 10/12/2023

Hometown: Eden Prairie, Minnesota

Current Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

Favorite Piece Written: Could Rudy Gobert Actually Take 3-Pointers for the Timberwolves This Season?

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: Being in the Target Center for the 2022 Play-In game against the Clippers and hearing the crowd absolutely erupt over Ant’s fourth quarter slam. Until that win, the idea that the Target Center could get as loud as it did that night was unfathomable to me. That game was a religious experience and I will never forget it.

Basketball Comp: Some strange combination of Boris Diaw’s everything, Zavier Simpson’s hook shot, and Kyle Lowry’s overall hustle and effort-plays.

Hidden Talent: I pretty much know everything about Pokémon.

Ryan Eichten (@REichten)

Canis Birthday: 7/13/2023

Hometown: Shoreview, Minnesota

Current Location: Brooklyn Park, Minnesota

Favorite Piece Written: What Can the Timberwolves Learn from the Minnesota Twins?

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: Watching Game 7 of the 2004 Kings-Timberwolves Conference Semi-Final series as a kid with my Dad.

Basketball Comp: To be honest, Justin Bieber

Hidden Talent: I have a good amateur singing voice.

Thilo Latrell Widder (@125thSt1Train)

Canis Birthday: 6/22/2022

Hometown: New York, New York

Current Location: New York, New York (Please don’t dox me in the comments again)

Favorite Piece Written:

About the Game: A Brief History of D’Angelo Russell, Anthony Edwards, and the Ghosts of Veteran Point Guards

About the Culture: How Songs Save Fans When Rebuilds Don’t

About the People: Luka Garza and the Need for Developing Identity Through Change

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: The Derrick Rose fifty-point game happened in my first month of college while I was on crutches after destroying my ankle in a heated parents' weekend basketball game with friends. I sat there and watched that game, cried a couple tears of joy, and then joined my dorm mates to watch Monster House. I think I’ll do the same thing again in two weeks.

Basketball Comp: Have you ever taken a second to imagine how a brontosaurus would play basketball? Do that, take that image, and combine it with the overconfidence and shot-happy nature of Trey Burke, and the penchant for overcomplicated passes of Kuroko from Kuroko no Basket. It is not a wonder I am rarely a first pick.

Hidden Talent: I was training to be a chef until I was about 16 and nearly made it on television as part of Masterchef Junior. I can also recite the entire script of the movie “Money Ball” because I’ve watched it too many times. Lastly, and as a very niche cut, I’ve 100%-ed the game “Celeste.”

Gabe Schneider (@gabeschneider0)

Canis Birthday: 1/8/2022

Hometown: Eden Prairie, Minnesota

Current Location: Brooklyn Park, Minnesota

Favorite Piece Written: Examining Rudy Gobert’s Fit With the Minnesota Timberwolves and How the Timberwolves Hit the Anthony Edwards Jackpot

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: Game 4 of the NBA Playoffs in 2022 at Target Center against the Grizzlies. Far and away the most exiting atmosphere I’ve felt at Target Center, as the energy created by this team simply making the playoff was surreal.

Basketball Comp: 2017 NBA Celebrity All Star Game Mark Lasry

Hidden Talent: Have recently become a half-decent cook and a high-level meal prepper.

Charlie Walton (@CharlieWaltonMN)

Canis Birthday: 5/31/2023

Hometown: Waconia, Minnesota

Current Location: Waconia, Minnesota (I know, boring)

Favorite Piece Written: Karl-Anthony Towns, the Game Changer

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: My Mom and I traveled down to Sacramento to catch the Wolves’ first game in Northern California last season. While there, we were able to meet the man himself Karl-Anthony Towns. I value NBA players' privacy, so I didn’t approach him in the hotel, but he came and said what's up and chatted for a bit. He was the nicest, most down-to-earth guy I’ve ever spoken with.

Basketball Comp: Gorgui Dieng — a hard screen setter, mid-range threat, solid defender, and a viable shooter from the corners.

Hidden Talent: This isn’t really a talent, but I’m a huge music buff of all genres and decades; I collect vinyl records and can pick up on most tunes, beats, and songs I hear in public! If I’m not watching, writing about, or playing basketball, chances are you will find me tucked away listening to some tunes.

Andrew Carlson (@andrew_carlson2)

Canis Birthday: 10/8/21

Hometown: Vadnais Heights, Minnesota

Current Location: Blaine, Minnesota

Favorite Piece Written: Recapping the infamous Rudy Gobert-Kyle Anderson fight game - I will never forget it — Edwards, Towns Lead Minnesota Past Ingram, Infighting and passing out grades for the other brawl last season — Altercation Report Card: How Did the Wolves Grade Out?

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: Really, two of them. The Play-In win vs. the Los Angeles Clippers reassured me everything is going to be ok after all of the shit that Wolves fans had been dragged through up until that point. Also the Kevin Love buzzer beater in lob city in 2011. That team was so much fun, and beating that team was so huge for that group. Sorry, Clippers.

Basketball Comp: Kyle Anderson with a quicker release but an overall way worse quality of play.

Hidden Talent: I am pretty unreal at pop-a-shot, an inverse of my overall basketball game.

Will Tzavaras (@TheTazMan5)

Canis Birthday: 8/26/2023

Hometown: Saint Paul, Minnesota

Current Location: Saint Paul, Minnesota

Favorite Piece Written: My in-depth analysis on Anthony Edwards game compared to other elite scorers and if he can, and should win a scoring title this year

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: Honestly two, with the first one being getting to sit court-side for pregame warmups for the Orlando Magic game in which the brawl took place. Getting Anthony Edwards autograph with a ‘2020 #1 pick’ inscription was also nice.

Basketball Comp: Matt Ryan. I am an okay athlete, but I don’t dribble, don’t defend, and don’t cut unless it’s going to get to an open spot behind the 3-point line.

Hidden Talent: I guess I am actually an elite shooter in pick up games. I would say I actually shoot around the 40% mark from beyond the arc but I literally can not do anything else.

Matthew Ho (@mho_kj and @beyondthearc8)

Canis Birthday: 11/2/2023

Hometown: Pasadena, California

Current Location: San Luis Obispo, California

Favorite Piece Written: Breakdown on how Anthony Edwards leveled up this past season and took the third-year leap.

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: I’m relatively new to following the Timberwolves compared to people on this list, but Anthony Edward’s dunk on Gabe Vincent stands out to me. It was such a vicious dunk. The way he just hangs in the air before throwing one down on a defender’s head is amazing.

Basketball Comp: I’m only a few years removed from playing high school and travel basketball, so I’m still a pretty solid player. I’m a Swiss-army knife type of player, who can score, play make and defend. How about Nickeil Alexander-Walker with a little bit more on-ball game?

Hidden Talent: I’m nice at 2K the video game. I’ve been playing for a long time. Watch out though, I’m going to pause the game and go into defensive and offensive settings before I run a bunch of freelance sets on you.

Brendan Hedtke (@B_HedtkeNBA)

Canis Birthday: 2/2/2021

Hometown: Atwater, Minnesota

Current Location: Willmar, Minnesota

Favorite Piece Written: My favorite piece has to be one I wrote back in the summer of 2021. In my article The Path to a Respectable Defense, I detailed the need for a rim protector next to KAT and moving Jaden McDaniels to the small forward position in order to have a good defense, and the Wolves finished that puzzle last season and ended up with a top-10 defensive rating.

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: I was at Target Center covering the Wolves for Canis on November 24th, 2021. That night featured an epic game where the Wolves took care of Jimmy Butler’s Miami Heat by a score of 113-101. Anthony Edwards, in his second year, was the best player on the floor that night. He ended with 33 points, 14 rebounds, and 6 assists.

But it was one singular moment that created my favorite memory of the team. While sitting on media row (which was located directly next to the Wolves bench), I had lost my vision of the far end of the court due to a number of Wolves players standing at the end of the bench and the baseline. All of a sudden, a build up of anticipation happened throughout Target Center. With an obstructed view, I couldn’t see what was happening down on the other end. But, all of a sudden, I see Anthony Edwards rise above the heads of the players in front of me and I witness him throw down the meanest dunk of the year, right on Gabe Vincent’s head.

While the dunk did not count, the feeling that went through my body was out of this world. I could barely contain my excitement on media row.

Basketball Comp: I would consider myself to be somewhat similar to a Josh Hart, with a little more of an off the dribble game and a little worse defensively. I’m an undersized power-forward who also can handle the ball, shoot consistently slightly below average, and grabs a bunch of rebounds. I was given the nickname “The Garbage Man” my freshman year because I was cleaning up all of the messes.

Hidden Talent: I’m far from a great basketball player, but I (humbly) do have a nasty Euro-Step.

Jared Martinson (@JaredMartyMN)

Canis Birthday: 11/11/2022

Hometown: Maple Grove, Minnesota

Current Location: Maple Grove, Minnesota

Favorite Piece Written: Reviewing the Timberwolves Offense Through Two Preseason Games

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: I was fortunate to attend the Wolves vs. Knicks game last December and sit in the first row behind New York’s bench. It was an ugly, rough-and-tumble game, but the major highlight was Taj Gibson jawing back and forth with me and my friends from his last seat on the pine. He responded to our “Retire a Wolf, Taj!” call with a pounding of his chest and a point to us. That dude is a Timberwolves legend.

Basketball Comp: Luka Garza feels right as far as modern, average players go. Sprints the court but still ends up near the end of the race, utilizes touch and pump fakes around the rim, knocks down the occasional trailing three-pointer and has a great attitude all the time.

Hidden Talent: I play guitar and sing pretty well. Who can get me in touch with the Wolves personnel that sets up halftime performances? My Taylor Swift and Noah Kahan covers are waiting to be released to the world.

Jack Borman (@jrborman13)

Canis Birthday: 5/26/2020

Hometown: Minneapolis, Minnesota

Current Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota (via Boston, Massachusetts)

Favorite Wolves Piece Written: Karl-Anthony Towns Changed His Tone — And The Timberwolves’ Trajectory Along With It

Favorite Lynx Piece Written: Minnesota Lynx Legend Sylvia Fowles and Her No. 34 Are Forever

Favorite Timberwolves Memory: Watching in-person Patrick Beverley and Anthony Edwards parade around Target Center before jumping on a table after the Play-In victory over the Clippers in 2022.

Basketball Comp: Trail Blazers Carmelo Anthony

Hidden Talent: My golf short game